nothing seems to get better

elute

nothing seems to get better no matter how hard i try to make it, it just never stops and i dont know how to keep going if its always like this

airspace

Hi elute
I came on this forum expecting I would write something to help offload my thoughts, but as always feel either paralysed or insecure to share my own deep anxieties, yet I know that opening up to someone will help.

I have very specific anxieties. Things I am struggling to face and mention aloud for the scale of how big they seem, so I go silently go day to day without any change other than this weight feeling greater and greater... yet I know all it takes is that step to say it out loud, be heard and understood, so you've done far more than me already by posting your own anxieties. Saying it aloud and getting it out of your head is a good step to making sense of everything. It will be read my many people feeling the same and it'll encourage them to write too, and there will be people wanting to reach out immediately, like I have, to share a moment of thought for your words and support from someone who understands.

I'm building up to talking to someone about my anxieties, as I know it'll help reframe all the noise and give me some much needed focus going forwards. I hope you can do the same and openly talk about your exact worries and struggles. I'm been learning that everything can be reframed and bad days, like today, don't last. As much as I'm struggling now, my own experience tells me it'll be OK. The storm may be loud and unbearable, but it passes. Storms come and go, but they do pass.

I'm not a pro in any of this, but talking, sharing, and being heard is so valuable when your own head can make no sense of it. I hope you keep talking and sharing your anxieties, and find that light from people ready to listen. I hope to do the same. It has been, and is, very difficult some days. To know I'm not alone is a step.

Stay strong.

therising

Hi elute

My heart goes out to you so much as you face a time in your life where nothing seems to be changing for the better.

Being a 55yo gal and having had to significantly manage my mental health since my late teens, I've had some decades of wondering why things don't seem to get better at times. I'd say one of the key revelations when it comes to the way forward involves constructively wondering, as opposed to jumping to the wrong conclusion and asking 'What's wrong with me?'.

There can be so many different reasons for feeling no positive change in life. Some of the many reasons can involve

Not being surrounded by the right people or guides, the kinds of people who are going to raise us out of feeling down or depressed while leading the way
Chemical imbalances from vitamin or mineral deficiencies through to a serious lack of dopamine and other kinds of chemistry that can lead life to feel happier or easier in certain ways
Lacking the best visions or goals. While there are plenty of visions to be seen through the imagination and plenty of goals to reach, 'Am I imagining what works best for me?' or 'Am I setting the kinds of goals that are going to serve me or lead me in the right direction?' are a couple of valid questions. Loads of people out there who'll try and tell us that what they see for us is best but this is their vision. Whether it suits us is a whole other story. And some of the goals people may sometimes suggest to us can end up being unrealistic. Often, the visions or goals that work best for us are the ones we can relate to
We can be in completely the wrong environment, one that's too stressful for us or too depressing

Just a handful of things out of a long list of possibilities.

It becomes a matter of 'There's nothing wrong with me but something wrong when it comes to the people around me, the chemistry in my body, my visions or goals or the environment I'm in'. I've found sometimes the toughest challenge involves getting a feel for exactly what's wrong. There are still times in my life, at this age, where I need others to help me get a feel for what's wrong and the best way forward. I should add that, when it comes to feelings, if we've been kinda conditioned to 'Get over it', 'Just get on with things', 'Stop being so sensitive' etc etc, technically no one's been leading us to develop the skill of getting a better sense of things or feel for things.