Hi, welcome
Thankyou for raising the issues because many people read this and might relate and be guided also.
Between the ages of 17 and 20yo I was in the AirForce and the only way I could become one of the "blokes" was to drink and smoke. It landed me in trouble and eventually left the force to return to civilian life. From then on I didnt drink to excess, I'm 70yo now and havent been drunk once in 50 years since. I had to go through that period of my life to realise that drinking, smoking etc did zero to assist me progressing. A while later I visited my old friends on an airforce base and realised how much drinking they actually did and that alone helped me make the decision to better myself. So you are not abnormal in trying these things but you now know it isnt the way to achieve a happy life, in fact you risk going down a terrible road of addiction.
I clearly see one large issue, you dont have a passion. Sadly a passion is an interest that comes naturally from a young age and becomes inground quickly for a lifelong interest. I loved tinkering, building things and so tools are still nearby always. Without a passion other issues are compounded by boredom and depression, loneliness and lack of purpose is often the result.
So that leaves hobbies, sports and interests which are less passionate. Scan your mind to find things that interest you like- animals, camping, attending football matches and so on. Do research on those things. It can be annoying that these things cost money. I took up golf years ago and clubs cost me $2200 and after 1 year I realised it wasnt for me. Eventually I found motorcycles was my passion so I pursued it within my budget.
Re: "with change and alot of new stuff is going on" changes can take its toll on us and its good you have some insight on that possibility, many dont. The message here is that your journey through life can be travelled as things fall into place or you can take control of your own destiny. The latter takes a host of hard decisions by you, no one else. You can receive guidance and suggestions from others sure, but you make your own way depending on your thoughts and desires. This individual road you take will reward you handsomely as its your own unique pathway not someone elses.
Now this is important too.
I hope that helps but many people reply to our posts to seek clarification or tell us of updates so we can input more so feel free.
" Life can be fun but having a purpose where you dedicate to helping others or animals... or a better world, is the ultimate life story..." (TonyWK)
TonyWK
