New To The Forums- My story

SaeDi93
Community Member

Hi I am SaeDi. For the past 10 years I have had severe depression but only a few years ago sought help and was diagnosed. It is a struggle at the moment because my boyfriend has never experienced depression or the like and he can't understand why I feel the way I do.

Recently it has become harder to manage since I was diagnosed with D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder). There aren't many people I know with it... and it is hard to find people who are sincere.

3 Replies 3

White_Rose
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello SaeDi

Welcome to Beyond Blue. I am sorry you are struggling with this disorder. I know little about this but I understand it is associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. If this is correct you will find a number of people who write on this site have this diagnosis and can talk to you about this. Have a look round and read the various posts. You can use the search function to identify some threads. I have listed a couple of posts below.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/permalink/qhC5g3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A - BPD Coping with partner

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/permalink/qfsEpXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A - Alone and BPD has kicked in

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/employment-and-workplaces  Working with BPD

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/permalink/qfdmU3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A  Diagnosed with BPD - Feeling miserable

These are just a few. I believe if you google BPD it will come up with various BPD threads from BB and is quicker than going the BB search function.

Mary

 

 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear SaeDi, I'm pleased that you have posted your comment on this site, and also pleased that Mary has given you some links for you to look into.

It's a condition which I don't know too much about, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop posting, because as bad as you are struggling with it, and trying to understand why, you are the leader in helping us also know how and what it feels like, so slowly as you stay in touch with us means that you are the most knowledgeable and the more you can tell us the slower we can understand and then help you. Geoff.

 

Sammy286
Community Member

Hi SaeDi93,

While I know people mean well, and I am certainly not here to criticise another forum user, I would suggest you stick to researching about DID. There is a book called "The dissociate identity disorder sourcebook" by D B Haddock.  BPD is a personality disorder whilst DID is a dissociative disorder (it was changed from Multiple Personality Disorder to reflect this as people think it's a personality disorder).  Did you get a 2nd opinion?

It's thought there are more mood changes with BPD and that these are more 'alien' or 'disconnected'. DID has a memory loss experience which I don't believe occurs with BPD.

Likewise people can be misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia.  If you hear voices 'inside' your head then that is different to hearing voices 'outside' your head.  DID is internal as far as what you hear and experience.

 I know a lot about DID as I live with this, and have for a number of years, and as time goes on you learn how to manage and cope with it. It's not all bad but it does take time to accept and treat. People often think about movies like Sybil and that's pretty far-out - switching isn't always obvious or extreme and quite often people who receive a DID diagnosis probably never even knew they have Alters so this can be a huge shock.

Your Alters have protected you for probably a number of years, they are the reason you have survived.  Much hype is out there regarding suicidal alters, angry alters, doing things you don't remember, stealing, waking up in strange places and so on. Every Alter in your 'system' deserves respect, love and friendship. Reaching them within the safety of therapy can be important but that's for your therapist to help you with. Keeping trauma memories away, protecting you, keeping secrets of the past this is all they do and all they know.

You are not alone. It's just the topic of DID isn't common like depression and anxiety. It's part and parcel of being DID that we don't discuss it. It's a phenomenal illness, often disbelieved by specialists so if you have a diagnosis then seek therapy by someone who understands and treats the illness. But by all means do your own reading, share with your partner as they can be helpful.  You have a boyfriend, and he knows?  Take him to sessions. He can help track your days, so maybe keep a diary - some people with DID find this a good idea and a topic for discussion in therapy, but others find it upsets their Alters so it's individual.

I wish you well. Thank you for posting.

Sammy.