My story of surviving

[ViperMist]

Hi their, I feel like typing away the reason I have joined this lovely helping site, and I only joined yesterday.

I say this all started from grade 1, in grade 1 I was still learning to talk propery. (I was born with grommets blocking my ears out so my speech came out wrong) this led to my lunchtimes be taken up with teachers trying to help me. Wich caused my friend at the time to find a new group of people, so when I had a lunch time break I would play with them, but they didn't like me, I didn't notice this until grade 3 when they told me I was 'it' for hide and seek. They were cruel and told me the no go eras, and when I was searching for them I saw then laughing together right were they said no one was allowed, so I left. I sat alone until grade 5, this is when I made a friend (Freind 1) who made a friend (friend 2) now I grew more closer to friend 2 but friend 1 didn't like that so she would physically and verbally bully me. Grade 7 I put up with this until I relises this is wrong and I told my mum, the school did NOTHING. So I went to highschool depressed and afraid to make friends. 

What sucks is that this crap didn't stop their, I had about three teachers who hated me and would continually pick me out of the crowd and show the world how bad I was, this led to

my anxiety with my marks and grades, I only made a friend who is extremely shy in term 4 and this is when I started harming, I felt all these terrible emotions that still corrupt my day to day life.

It wasn't until term 3 in grade 9 did my mum found out about my selfharm, I have since then had six session with the physiatrist and I feel like I need more, I was placed on medication this year (grade 10) and they have just become numb to me.

That was my school situation....I have many home situation, my dad cheated on my mum, and is an alcoholic, my mum works to the bone and my sister has type 1 diabetes And they all never see the

damage that has been left on me. 

Thank you for reading~ 

ViperMist 

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[Neil_1]

Hi there ViperMist

Welcome to Beyond Blue and I would really like to thank you for sharing your story.

I also would like to congratulate you on the subject of your post, "My story of surviving";   that is beautiful.  You've done it damn tough and damn tough for so long and I believe it's still not flash - yet you promote your post with such a positive and upbeat title.  I really like that very much.  To me, that speaks volumes for the wonderful spirit you do have inside - never lose that, that's a valuable ability to have.

The complaint of bullying is something that really does get to me - it angers me, because there is no reason, there is no need for it - it's carried out by weak-minded and horrible people.  The trouble with bullying too is that yes, it's at schools and amongst the young, but unfortunately it does roll-over into the adult world as well.  It's one of the most disgusting traits going around.

And ViperMist, it seems as though you've unfortunately experienced so much of it through your schooling so far.  I'm gathering that you've been in Year 10 this year and has it been better for you?  ie:   has the bullying and nastiness finished and you don't suffer from this anymore?  I really hope so.  But things don't have to go on like this - that was disappointing to read that when it was reported before, that the school did nothing about it.  If that was me, I would then have raised it with a level higher than the school to take it to the next step;  because things like this need to be jumped on and quickly, otherwise it just spreads.

May I ask how long ago was your last self-harm episode?  Just from reading, it appears it may have been either earlier this year or last year.  I hope that you're progressing on a positive path away from that.

With regard to your psychiatrist, this is great that you've had 6 sessions and that you feel like you need more - that is good to read;  as it sounds like there's a connection between you and the psyche.  Believe me, this doesn't always happen, so that's great.  You may need to get back to your doctor so they can give you another referral to your psyche for some more sessions.  I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

I'm running out of characters - but I do hope that you can respond back, cause I'd really like to hear back from you and how you are going?

Neil