My girlfriend idk what to do

Not_needed_anyway · ‎16-08-2018

So my girlfriend (gf) is a really pretty smart girl we have been dating for a while and on our very first date i kissed her on the lips and shes been mad at me and i think i solved that problem but....ever since that she has wanted space away from me and complains about everything i do and im just not sure what to think anymore or how to feel about anything i feel like im getting depression and idk what to do 😞

Peppermintbach · ‎17-08-2018

Hello,

You clearly think the world of your wonderful girlfriend, which is nice. She sounds like she means a lot to you...

Sometimes I feel it’s difficult figuring out things like kissing in relationships. It must be very distressing and hurtful that you’re probably not sure where you stand with her at the moment.

I was thinking maybe you might like to calmly talk to her and tell her that you care and want to work on your relationship. Then maybe ask (calmly and gently) why she has been so distant and is never happy with your actions, and explain that you’re only asking because you care about her and want your relationship to work. I feel the thing is maybe it was related to the kiss but maybe it’s about something else; I suppose the only way to find out is to ask...

I’m also wondering if you have much support elsewhere e.g. close friends, family, etc that you can turn to for support as you’re clearly struggling. I feel it can be hugely cathartic to offload to a caring friend or family member...

Plus I was thinking maybe you might like to look up Headspace online. They offer a wide range of free support services to young people so you might like to give their helpline ago. Just a gentle suggestion...

It goes without saying that you’re also most welcome to talk to us here. There’s no pressure but if you feel up to it, feel free to unload feelings, vent, etc here as it’s a gentle and caring space here.

kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

LavenderTea · ‎22-08-2018

Hey there,

Thanks for posting.

I think Pepper has some good points. Opening up a conversation with your gf can be helpful. It sounds like you're not really sure why she's mad, since you said you think that you've fixed the problem, so maybe start by sitting down with her and asking her about it. It's good to approach these situations with care, tell her what you've been feeling, what you've noticed is happening, and try not to come across as blaming.

You've also mentioned that your gf sometimes wants space - this can be important, since often people need to recharge by having some time alone or spending time with different people (i.e. close friends or family).

What makes you think that you're becoming depressed? Is this something you've spoken about to anyone before? There's a checklist on the Beyond Blue website if you wanted to look into this a little bit further. (copy and paste link https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10 ).

We also have a thread on depression, it might be helpful for you to have a look there since there are some really good posts about symptoms, and ways to manage depression. If you do feel like you need some extra support, I'd suggest seeing a GP, or contacting a chat line which can be accessible on the phone (Beyond Blue 1300 224636) or via web (Beyond blue online chat or email services).

Hope this helps.

LT.