My anxiety has taken over again

[samwisegamgee]

When I was in year 10, I went through a really bad phase of panics and realised that I had anxiety. The panics occurred whenever I had to speak to someone of authority, like a teacher or employer. It sort of died down after a while of seeing my GP... with less panics occuring but still generalised anxiety about other things.

Now, i'm 18 and it's sprouted back up really badly.

I moved from Australia to the UK in June 2015 (after living in Australia for 7 years) and in November 2015 a few of my friends in Australia decided that I wasn't worth their time any more. They literally said to me "there's no point in being your friend, we'll never see you again". I wasn't expecting this at all and it completely made me break down. I was so upset, crying hysterically. And now, I'm finding it incredibly difficult to talk to new people. I'm experiencing a new anxiety symptom of completely shutting down, not being physically able to talk to people. I used to be a really chatty, happy-go-lucky person. Now all I can think is how stupid I feel, and how people won't want to be my friend, so whats the point in trying?

I have a really strong relationship with my current boyfriend... who I met before the whole "friend" thing happened. It's long distance relationship (3hrs travel), which is fine but it means i get lonely at times. My best friend also lives where he lives. I'm constantly worried that my boyfriend see's that I'm always upset with myself, and will get annoyed at me for it. He never does, but my worry is always there. 

I've been crying almost every day for the past few weeks. I am constantly feeling lonely, as I can't seem to build proper relationships at college.

I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, and I'm so worried about being defined now as an irritable, upset, boring person. I used to be so extraverted and loved being around loads of people. Now I just feel so empty about it all. 

I know I need to see a doctor again however I have been having panic attacks whenever I have had to see doctors for other general medical reasons, and I'm deathly afraid of having one again. It's like half of me wants to go and the other half keeps dragging me back.

I just feel like I need some advice on what's happening to me, I really hate feeling so hopeless, and I want to get back to the person I was before.

Thanks for reading, I hope to hear your thoughts or advice. x

[blondguy]

Hi Samwise and Welcome to the BB Forums

I have had anxiety attacks for a few years, I do understand where you are coming from. Even though it is difficult to see now but you are still the same person as before..you are suffering from anxiety and its feelings are dreadful.

Being anxious about seeing your GP is common Sam. Just to let you know that GP's nowadays are better trained where anxiety is concerned compared to when I had it. They are a great way for you to vent and he may even help you with a basic medication to enable you to improve your quality of life while you are helped to cope with the anxiety.

The crying is actually good...you are letting off steam.

Anxiety is still a 'feeling' Adrenaline and hormones racing aroud makes it a physical problem to start with

Fear of anxiety - being fearful of another panic attack only brings on additional panic..your GP can help you so much on stopping this fear cycle thus reducing your panic attacks

Congrats for having a strong relationship and a great guy too! No need to worry here Sam

Anxiety and generalised anxiety feelings do decrease in intensity over time with effort....which you know

With your friends disappearing on you...It is a pain Sam but unfortunately is also common when moving long distances

Anxiety can also be reduced by a good quality sleep. Make sure you get heaps...It provides much needed strength for the next day where coping is concerned.

If possible turn off cellphones, ipads before going to bed..They only overstimulate brain activity/thought processes which you dont want of course.

If possible...gently try to slow everything down...Think Slow...Walk Slow..Talk Slow...

It just works for me Sam but replace the word 'Relax' with 'Calm' It can be easier to achieve..

Avoid 'fighting' or 'battling' anxiety. This is counter productive and only results in more mental/physical exhaustion..Your GP/Counsellor can help you with 'Calm Acceptance' instead of fighting...it does take practise

The same person you used to be still there Sam...Be 'Kind' to her.

If you wish it would be great to hear from you and how you are going..

Kind Thoughts

Paul