Love someone who doesnt love me

[Jess_H1]

Im 19 and I’ve loved this kid for 3 years in August its going to be 4 years. There might some of you saying youre only 19 how do you know what love is.. But im so sick of being hurt , we were close friends really close friends but I ended up falling in love , couldnt tell him for 2 years, and when I told I knew the reply I was going to get wasn’t what I wanted to hear. We were doing a course this year together, he would always laugh with me, play around with me, have play fights and we were close then I thought we might have a chance so I opened up to him but again no, he says his really sorry that he can’t love me like I love him, I’ve dedicated my 4 years for this kid. Whenever his in pain I feel it, whenever he needs something I’m always the first one to help him. I know for a fact that no one is ever going to love him as much as I do. Im sick of crying myself to sleep every single day. For 3 years ive been smoking and lately I’ve gone worse by smoking 1 packet a day. Someone help me please

[quirkywords]

Hello Jess and welcome to the forums.

This is a caring, friendly , supportive and nonjudgmental place that is full of kind people.

I am sorry you are feeling like this and the pain of not being loved by your friend the way you love this friend would be causing you so much hurt.

Not being loved the way you want to be loved, will hurt at any age.

I can understand you are someone who feels emotions deeply and while he enjoys being friends with you and has feelings for you they are not the same you have.

I have been in a similar situation as you, and am sure many reading this will relate to your post too.

I suppose time is the only thing that helped me and talking to people who understood. It is an awful feel to feel you have all these strong emotions that are not returned. It can happen at any age, the first time I was in my early 20s and the last time in my 50s. People told me then I was too old to be upset by my feelings!

Would you consider ringing Relationships Australia 1300 264 377 and you could talk to a trained person about how you feel.

I am glad you made your first post and feel free to post here as often as you like.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi JessH1,

I too welcome you to the forum and the community here. It is tough when you love and care for someone but the love is not returned as we desire or need it to be. It hurts doesn't it?

It is good you were able to talk to him about your feelings, at least he knows how you feel. Accepting how he feels about you is the hard part! Is it possible for you to stay friends with him even though you know he can't love you as you desire?

Having a broken heart can hurt and leave us feel drained and depressed.

Do you have other friends you can spend time with? Do you have some hobbies or interests you could try to be involved in so you feel a little better about your life in general?

You may continue to love this guy for the rest of your life, as love can be powerful. Hopefully you will have room in your heart for someone else one day as well.

All the best from Dools