losing hope in myself to do well

[Guest_17977777]

im currently in high school, and i really love science and would love to become a doctor. last year with my chem tests, i did decently, not up to my usual standard, but above average and not bad so i was fine with it (chem is an elective). last term i was extremely proud of myself as i studied extremely hard and it paid off since i got the highest mark in my course. i was really excited for the next test and i studied really hard in hopes to make my teacher proud of me and make me proud of myself. i was truly confident when i entered the test. i was confident when i put the answers down. i got my mark back, and it was 20% lower than average. i tried to play it off when my friends asked, but i avoided eye contact and kept saying reassuring phrases such as "i'll learn for next time! i read the question wrong!", but when it was time for lunch, i went to the bathroom and cried so hard because i was really disappointed in myself. my big final chem exam is coming up and im losing hope of even wanting to be a doctor. worst part is the mistakes i made in this test were all the same reason as the ones i lost last year. i feel like i cant improve and i feel even worse when classmates around me are doing better when im not. i mostly hate that my teacher thinks i cant improve either

[Guest_62426516]

Pretty normal to be disappointed, but if your grades in that subject are good overall and you didn't even fail the test, personally, I wouldn't be worried. 

Grades are a reflection of what you wrote on the paper, nothing more, nothing less. 

And the way averages work, well we can't all be above average, all the time can we? Mathematically that would not work.

I did poorly in school so didn't become a doctor, but somehow I doubt being harder on myself would have lifted my grades. Try flashcards.