How do I tell my parents?

[M-ia_123]

I really need someone to convince me to tell my parents.

i know I need to but I physically can’t bring myself to tell them.

so I’m in year 9 and just had exams I thought i did really well but I got two C’s on my math test and I’m really disappointed with that. Like my dad. I was on call with my friend and he came into my room and told me to hang up and come to the living room, so I do and him and my mum are there. They start talking about how I have way too much screen time. I agree but I use my phone to talk to my friends and to escape from everything because I’m struggling. Then my dad said that he’s disappointed in me because of my bad grade. (Normally I get A’s) he then blamed it on my phone. I don’t know what it was but after both my parents talked with me I was really upset. I’ve been really depressed for a while (since year 7) and it keeps coming in waves. I also think I have ADHD and that’s why I struggled on the exam or doing the washing because I literally can’t bring myself to doing it. (I saw a website and it explained it like if you were to put your hand on a hot stove. Like you can’t bring yourself to do it and that explains how it feels to me really well.) but I’m not sure if that matters. I find it really hard to talk to my family or anyone really so I’m really glad that I have this option. My family (they’re amazing and I love them) are really hard to talk with, it’s the type of household where if someone gets upset you apologise “I’m sorry for what I did and it wont happen again” and then everyone moves on but I can’t just move on. Even my friends are noticing that there’s something wrong. 
there’s plenty other things that are making me upset and anxious but it’s ok.

I really need to talk to someone because things are getting worse and I’m tired of trying. I promise I won’t do anything I’ll regret but I really need help but I can’t ask for it.

im sorry but thank you for seeing me.

[M-ia_123]

Also I know I’ve talked about this before on here but I honestly just can’t tell them.

[Sophie_M]

Dear M-ia_123, 

We are so glad that you are here and this commnity platform with Beyond Blue provides a space for you to feel seen.  We hear you and are so sorry you are going through a tough time right now. Please know that you do not have to carry this alone, and there is support available whenever you need it. Here are some free, confidential resources where people who care are ready to listen and help:

• Beyond Blue: Call 1300 22 4636 (24/7 support)
• Kids Helpline: Call 1800 55 1800 (24/7 support for ages 5-25)
• headspace: Visit headspace.org.au (support for ages 12-25, their families and friends)

Please reach out to them, taking that first step can make a big difference. It sounds like you have supportive parents and that perhaps sometimes communication can take some work but it is acheivable and you deserve to feel heard and feel seen. Show your parents these numbers and contacts when you feel ready, especially headpsace and that may be a positive way to move together for individual support and as a family. 

[Mark07a]

Hey there Ma i 

Depression is really hard to deal with, i know how it feels to have depression. Its hard just to make it through the day isnt it? 

I can relate to what you say about it coming in waves, its the same for me. 

Im curious to know whether you have tried speaking to your friends about it? Its a hard topic to bring up with froends though.  Have you considered speaking to a counsellor or a psychologist? 

As you probably aalready know it feels good when we can share our problems or worries with someone else. 

If you want to go into more detail about your struggles, i would like to hear more. 

Mark

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there,

Thanks so much for your post and your honesty. I think you should be really proud of yourself for doing your exams and getting through school whilst struggling. It's not easy and I can see you're trying your best. It's true, opening up to someone is hard and you want them to be supportive. Like Mark07a said, you may want to speak to your school psychologist first. I think that'll be a great place to start just to have someone to talk to initially and let them know what you're dealing with right now. Then, maybe after some time, you will build up the confidence to also tell your parents. 

I hope things go well for you and feel free to keep reaching out on here anytime you need.

Take care,

PsychDiaries

[M-ia_123]

Thank you, it really means a lot to me.

I have sort of told my friends, I mean this in the way where they know I’m probably not in the best headspace but I haven’t told them much because I don’t want to burden them. I’m also the friend that they will all come to with their problems and I don’t mind that but I also think that’s how I got here (with a different friend group though.) My current friends don’t burden me like my old friends used to and I’m still glad I can help them but then because I know they’re struggling I find it even harder to tell them because I know what it was like to have other peoples problems pushed onto you. (I know it’s different but it’s hard.) I used to go to the school councillor and that started by me trying to help fix my friends problems. They saw me four times after that (one on one) and when I opened up a little bit there was one more session where I wasn’t saying much and I haven’t heard from them since. I feel awkward coming back now. 

[Psychdiaries2]

I hear you, it can be hard when people talk a lot about their problems and sometimes its gets a bit much. Especially how you mentioned finding it hard to tell them about your own. Remember, it's not your responsibility to solve anyone else's problems, that weight shouldn't fall on you. If it gets a bit overwhelming, you can always set boundaries so your friends know not to talk too much about their struggles and hopefully they are talking to trusted adults in their lives too. That's good that you went to your school counsellor and don't worry about being awkward or anything, they're there to help you so I'm sure they would be glad to see you again. If you feel comfortable, you can always try going back even if it's just for a session and see how you feel. Take care 😁