lonely

[Bec_Luke]

In the last month and a bit.

Iv recently just broke up with my boyfriend after being in a 11 Month relationship. I really fell for him and adventurly gave him my heart as I have always been protective of my self and very very cautious of who I meet, he was the only person out of all other relationships iv had, actually open up to. We still talk and we'll we are "sort of friends" however there's one thing that really really gets on my nerve. When ever he is around or we go out whenever I see him he cannot u or just one second not not be on his phone texting others, doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing he can't just for five minutes not be on his phone. He works and does have a few friends and can talk to anybody, which its easier for him to be occupied. However I myself don't really have anybody to talk to or hang out with most of my days I do try and get out and go for walks or something, there isn't much around either where I live and I don't get much financialy, so in between looking for a job most of my days are spent at home all day all long, I know this isn't good for my depression etc. But I do find it hard to find things to do. Expecially by myself and even when I don't have anyone to get out with and meet others or do stuff, I am lonely and I dont know what to do.

Am I jealous or over thinking things too much???

[Vera55]

Hello BecLuke. No you are not jealous nor over thinking. You are aware that your ex boyfriends behaviour, that of texting whilst in your company is rude and inconsiderate no matter how many friends he has. Trust your perceptions and you are spot on. He is not engaging with you when you are together. 

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation with few resources at your disposal. It's hard to go for a walk where there is nowhere interesting to go. It's also hard to make friends where opportunities for meeting new people is not there. And lack of finances limit you even further by limiting your options and places to hang out so to speak. 

It's understandable that you feel the way you do. Perhaps you could hangout with us here for awhile and chat and explore some options for yourself. 

In the meantime you could tell your ex how you enjoy and miss talking to him when he is not distracted by his phone. 

Kind regards Vera 

[Bec_Luke]

Hi Vera. 

Thank you heaps, for your response, it helps a lot in knowing that there are others out there who can see this side of things as well. The thing that annoys me is, etc last night we went out for a hot chocolate and it ls the type of people I know his talking two. There has been well one girl who is a old school friend and she has a boyfriend but  has the same amount of friends a as me and also recently he has been talking to another girl that I haven't meet before or had been told about but is apparently an old friend who's not from school or anything, and I know where not together anymore but his constantly when his around me and last night on his phone and was talking to this other girl, and his phone constantly goes off and it just make me feel invisible and it's actually quite rude. I know he says his not looking for a relationship at the moment because of everything however is it normal for me to feel disrespected and maybe suspicious? of this obsession with messaging and yeah they maybe "friends" and I could be exaggerating but even when he takes me out and still wants to be "friends" I just think it's not right

[Bellatrix]

Hi Bek Luke,

I am quite a bit older than you and happily married but I can assure you I have had my heart broken in the passed so I sort of know what you are going through. First of all, let me tell you that you will get through it. Things will gradually get better and you will find someone who loves you as you deserve.

I also wanted to say that it sounds like this guy is not really treating you as a "friend", he is just keeping his options open. He is rude to you and you are not benefiting from the friendship at all. He doesn't even commit time to you when he is with you as he is constantly communicating with other people. Maybe it would be better to stop seeing him for a while, at least until you feel stronger on your own, I know you say you don't have many other friends but I think you are better off on your own than with someone who doesn't respect you. Can you do some sort of volunteering for charity or s community cause?  That would put you in contact with other people and also make you feel good about yourself. I think there is a more information at this website http://www.volunteeringaustralia.org/  Good luck!

[geoff]

dear Bec, I had replied to you but it didn't go through the filter and was deleted, so I will try again, but I will have to be careful what I say because of your age.

I too wouldn't be very happy if I was having a hot chocolate or whatever with someone, but really there not there focused on you, and miles away texting someone else, which means to me that he is looking for another relationship, so virtually he is wasting your time. Geoff. x