Just feeling empty

[Summer_]

I've been feeling miserable for a while now and unsure why but because I am constantly sad and unhappy, it has ended up ruining my relationship with my boyfriend, who has just dumped me and now i'm struggling even more to find something in life which brings me happiness. I'm a social person, I have a really close circle of friends who is supportive but I don't feel comfortable just texting them whenever because I don't want to be annoying or make them feel miserable too. I am really struggling to find something to get me out of bed each day and whilst in my relationship, and now even more so, I feel like crying every day. It used to be because my boyfriend didn't respect me anymore and started putting me down whenever he didn't want to talk to me and he didn't want to see me when i was with my friends, he would suddenly ignore me during the day because i would ask him how his day was and when I was upset or crying he would tell me i'm carrying on and causing a scene. Now that its over, its because i'm sad it didn't work out and because I feel lost without him. We had so many good times and had fun dates every week. It was hard for him to accept that I was emotional and found life difficult and was down a lot. I have no one to say good morning or goodnight to, no one to cuddle me when i'm sad, no one to kiss me and tell me i'm going to be okay. I'm now not sure if i'm upset because i love him or upset because now i'm alone and really lost. I don't have time for hobbies or sports or fun things, because i'm at full time uni and work in between. So there is nothing i look forward to during the week. I don't know how to change this, i'm scared to be hurt again and i'm scared that if i try something i won't fit in. I have no one to share my every day feelings with anymore because although my friends are really close I never like sharing my personal worries with them, when i see them i just want to have a good time. But now i don't even want to leave my house but i can't sit here crying and worrying anymore because i feel so down in the dumps and i just want that to change.

[Lori]

Hi Summer*,

Well done for reaching out, i would first like to say i am very sorry to hear about your break up, it isn't easy. 

I know with all this sadness and all these horrible feelings that you are experiencing, have you tried talking about it to your friends or family ? I know you said you don't like to bother them with your problem's but if they are your friends they will listen and show they care. Friends are meant to be there for you it's what friends are for. 

I could only imagine how hard it must be for you at the moment having to be at uni full time working in between and having all this on your shoulders and keeping it to yourself. If you really feel you cant talk to your friends or family have you thought about going to see your GP and getting their advice seeing what they can recommend for you at this hard time? 

I know you said you don't have time for hobbies or anything like that but exercise can be really helpful for you ? Can you see if you can fit a tiny bit of that in ? Maybe a 20 minute walk each day ?

Sorry if my reply is not helpful for you, but all i can recommend at this time is that you look to someone that you can talk to about this whether it's your friends, family, GP or another health professional.

I really do hope things get better for you soon, and i wish you all the best with your studies and  you are doing a great job stay strong! and keep in touch 🙂

- Lori 🙂

[lilyy_220]

Hi 🙂

I don't have the best advice but... something that really helps me when i'm upset is to treat myself. I like to sit down, make some time and do something that makes me happy. I love watching videos on YouTube from people like Zoella. Her videos make me so happy. Also, I love to have a relaxing bath. Pop in some bath bombs, bath saltz, whatever you like! Then, light candles and put on some music. Make it nice for you. Relax and clear your mind. Breathe and put all of the things that have been happening in a box and lock it away.

That's what helps me.

I hope you feel happier soon 🙂

[Pontius]

Hello Summer*,

I'm sorry that things have been hard for you and that you have had to deal with a breakup. I'm really glad that you have come to Beyond Blue to get a little support.

One of the main themes that you talk about is how you don't feel that you can tell anyone how miserable you are feeling. But you also talk about these great friends you have. I know it could be hard to tell your friends how sad you have been feeling, because you feel like you will annoy them and you are worried about making them sad too, but friends aren't meant to be there only for the happy times. I think you should try reaching out to your friends and telling them how you feel. I'm sure your friends won't be annoyed if you share something with them that is significant to you (and this sounds pretty significant). They won't be able to help you unless they know how down you have been feeling, so I reckon you should just go for it!

I really hope that things get better for you, Summer*.

Pontius​

[morgs29]

Hi Summer,

Thank you for reaching out to us. Break - ups can be the hardest, most heart-wrenching time! It sounds like it's only been quite recently that you broke up with your boyfriend and the feelings you are having are really normal. I would also recommend you visit your GP and just let them know how you are feeling. Seeing someone to talk to, especially during hard times like these, helps so much. I know it did for me.

I think it's also a really good idea to ask yourself what makes you happy and do lots more of those things to help you when you feel as though you are dwelling on the sadness. It sounds to me like your friends mean a lot to you. Are there a couple of those friends you trust enough to confide in about needing some extra love and support at the moment? Don't be afraid to let people know how you feel - just think about the safest people to do this with.

If you feel you need to talk to someone, but still don't feel comfortable doing this with your friends, beyondblue have both an online chat and phone service you can use. Talking with someone about how you feel can often be the best thing.

Take care,

Morgan