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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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na_cl What am I doing with my life?
  • replies: 4

In high school, I started developing social anxiety to extreme extent. Other kids would make fun of me all the time. People would even hit me. When teacher asks me questions, I would just sit quiet as everyone stares at me. I couldn't even say hi to ... View more

In high school, I started developing social anxiety to extreme extent. Other kids would make fun of me all the time. People would even hit me. When teacher asks me questions, I would just sit quiet as everyone stares at me. I couldn't even say hi to anyone. You know in movies. there's at least someone who is there for you, but I was all alone. I was that kid who sat alone in corners, that kid who everyone makes fun of, that kid who had no one to support, that kid who always works alone, that kid who has no Facebook, twitter and other social networks because I had no one to add, that someone who only has family in phone contact. Seemed I'm the only one like this in this world Teacher and my parents would worry but nothing could be done. With high school over now, I did make it for Uni. I thought I could reset my life but still I carried that social anxiety from 5 years ago. I couldn't say hi to students and lecturers, couldn't even speak a counsellor. No one would want to partner with me, even if I was placed in a group, I'd get ignored. This Uni life is so bland that I started skipping classes. Now I'm failing almost every subject. All I have in this life is my parents. I couldn't tell them. I don't want to worry them. What do I do? Can't even talk in job interviews or a counsellor or anyone. What am I doing with my life? Why am I even writing these? Who am I? I don't even know. All I want is to be normal like others. I would let myself go than to live like this for the rest of my life. They say there's good and bad in life but I've been having bad life since I was born. What do I hope to get by writing these? Sympathy? Hope? Maybe someone? I don't know how to escape this hell. Let myself go? I'm too scared. I can't seek help. Would help seek me? or drown me in loneliness?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

jjjjjjjjjj Do I have depression?
  • replies: 4

I'm unsure of my state of mind. There're some symptoms of depression which I know I definitely have, but not others. I have no motivation to do anything, and its having a negative impact on my study and work. I find it very difficult to concentrate o... View more

I'm unsure of my state of mind. There're some symptoms of depression which I know I definitely have, but not others. I have no motivation to do anything, and its having a negative impact on my study and work. I find it very difficult to concentrate on what I need to do (sometimes I can't even concentrate at all). I don't often go out, but I get the feeling its more do do with a lack of invitation. That is, if one of my friends invited me, I would probably go, if only to avoid turning them down. I also don't reach out to any of my friends. I'm not excited or passionate about anything. I used to enjoy reading, but I haven't read a book in about 2 years, and feel very little interest in picking it back up. I spend most of my time procrastinating. And there are times (usually when my mother questions me about university) where I get extremely frustrated and become very biting in what I say and how I act; occasionally I am so overwhelmed I start crying, because I am so insecure about my future, and don't know what to do. I am never happy with anything I do, I have very little confidence, and am EXTREMELY indecisive (big problem for me). I also constantly compare myself to others, usually those I perceive to be doing better than me with uni/life. Sometimes, my thoughts drift into darker territory, but only occasionally. Lastly, I am always feeling tired, and I have trouble getting to sleep (probably to do with me staying on my phone during the night). On the other hand though, I often smile to other people, and if someone initiates a conversation with me, I generally have no problem carrying it on. With people I am close to, I can be very animated in how I talk/act. However, with strangers, if they seem talkative, I tend to be. If they seem like they don't want to talk, then even if I want to initiate a conversation and make friends I find it impossible. Most of what I do in my interpersonal interaction is done because I am scared of being judged. I don't drink or use drugs. Although I said I'm always tired, there are very occasional times when I feel an intense urge to get up and run (no sugar, just a sudden impulse). I have read that while people suffering from depression display the symptoms in the first paragraph, the things I describe in the second paragraph go against what depressed people are known to do. So I'm confused as to whether I actually have depression. Any advice regarding anything mentioned in the post is welcome and appreciated.

kjs Seeking much needed advice!
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I am starting my 1 afternoon a week shift back at the vet clinic this Wednesday! I am feeling okay about it but as it gets closer I can feel some of those anxiety habits coming back. A friend of mine who also works there 1 afternoon a week an... View more

Hi all, I am starting my 1 afternoon a week shift back at the vet clinic this Wednesday! I am feeling okay about it but as it gets closer I can feel some of those anxiety habits coming back. A friend of mine who also works there 1 afternoon a week and with me at a fruit and vegetable market has helped me to write a list of jobs to do, so if I get stuck I can just pull out the list for some guidance. If anyone has any other tips to help get me through I would really appreciate hearing them! Thanks heaps, Kelly

Winchester Can't move anymore, can't breathe.
  • replies: 3

I've lived with depression all my life. I've managed to keep it under control all my life, but everything is falling apart, & has been for a while. I'm 23, have no job, spend all day, everyday by myself, in bed, watching TV. My friends don't have tim... View more

I've lived with depression all my life. I've managed to keep it under control all my life, but everything is falling apart, & has been for a while. I'm 23, have no job, spend all day, everyday by myself, in bed, watching TV. My friends don't have time for me in their lives & I haven't got anyone who cares enough to notice or listen. The past week I've been drowning & I can't do it for much longer. I can't seem to get myself out of the house. I've always thought I could keep this under control, but I can't. My mind is going crazy, & I feel like I can't move, but my blood is rushing. I know I need to get help, but my brain isn't letting me make myself better. I feel like I don't deserve to be a valid member of society, that I'm too useless & pathetic, someone regular people look down on. No one wants to be around me because my personality can be very over bearing, so I'm devoid of human contact all day. My mother doesn't pay much attention to me being there, so I'm on my phone a lot. But the past week I'm not even able to pick up a book & read it. I'm just sitting or laying there, freaking out at my problems & life, not wanting to be here, feeling anxiety. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

isy_73 Its a cycle...
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone! Lately I haven't been too well. My best friend has anxiety and depression, but it runs in my family too. This year is stressful for me so I've been experiencing panic attacks and with a lot going on, I've also been feeling very depressed... View more

Hi everyone! Lately I haven't been too well. My best friend has anxiety and depression, but it runs in my family too. This year is stressful for me so I've been experiencing panic attacks and with a lot going on, I've also been feeling very depressed. It's on and off though but sometimes it lasts long periods (if that makes sense...) and there are many factors that trigger it back. I feel like I'm very emotionally unstable because of this so one bad thing happens and my world crashes down and I remember all the other stuff and I feel awful. I isolate myself from my friends. I don't tell anyone anything because I feel like my other friends won't understand and will just brush it off, but some times I just really need some support. Some nights I just cry!!! My best friend suffering from mental illness also, I tried to talk to her about the panic attacks I've been having, and she kind of just hovered and didn't say anything and acted awkward. I'd like to be able to open up to someone because I just really need some support but I feel I don't trust my friends well enough and my mum wants me to focus on other things but I haven't told her the half of it so she doesn't understand that my mental wellbeing is a flow-on effect to these other things like school.... My best friend because she has anxiety too, but worse than me, lacks in confidence and its quite triggering for me. All our outings have to involved getting all dressed up with heaps of makeup and always getting new outfits. This isn't really teaching me to be confident in myself and it actually makes me feel very self conscious and down in the dumps :(. I know it might sound silly but it's actually something I've been struggling with for a long time because I have 0 confidence and low self esteem. This is a really negative influence in my life but I don't know what to do. Should I tell her i'd like to take some time to think because I have some things going on, and maybe keep my distance? It doesn't make me feel good about myself at all and makes me feel worthless. I wish I had some friends I could talk to about this. I hope you guys understand! some days I just want to take a week off school and just refresh because mental health has a flow on effect to other things so never postpone renewing your mental health (as some people are trying to tell me to do). I just need to escape! I hope you have a lovely day everyone. Sending hugs xoxoxo

Bluebird2492 No Motivation and Feeling Emotionally Numb
  • replies: 1

I have never sought help before - I'm a 23 year old who has always pushed through my limitations. I know I have anxiety/stress - I do have anxiety attacks where I can't breath. I always push through, because in my family there is no room for this kin... View more

I have never sought help before - I'm a 23 year old who has always pushed through my limitations. I know I have anxiety/stress - I do have anxiety attacks where I can't breath. I always push through, because in my family there is no room for this kind of feeling. But my normal high stress overdrive I have been living in constantly for at least four years has transformed into something I can't cope with. Feeling absolutely and utterly numb. Nothing charges my emotions - I am a void of dark bitterness, and its affect me terribly (my friends or lack of friends, my relationship, my humour, my drive/will power, my dedication to succeed & my uni).I think the transformation was triggered recently - I'm doing a masters in environmental management but I see no point to it anymore, a lot of this has to do with my on-off job lifestyle for the last four years. It has contained me from even considering my money as something to promote fun - I haven't had a 'holiday' in 7 years, I don't buy anything unless absolutely necessary because the money is expenses and safety net. I'm starting a new job and I feel nothing towards it - no excitement, not even anxiety just a 'meh' feeling. I have no charge for my field (environmental) because it is impossible to find a job that just feels like it fits me. My last job burnt me out, put stress on my relationship and left me a deflated husk on a chair for a week. I have no motivation to care about this new job or my life - I'm not even sure where I want to be in my life anymore. I just feel empty.I used to love painting, acting (drama), and absolutely adore writing. My partner is making me write a novel to keep me up beat because its the only thing that I feel any emotion towards. But because of my masters I lack time to pursue these activities. I know I am a motivated, in charge type of person - but my life seems so very dull, empty and not worthwhile I do wonder if simply locking the door and never going out again is a possibility. I'm trying to ignore it and convince myself this is how life is...but I don't want it to feel this way anymore. Is my career/job life always going to feel so limited, am I always going to feel numb like my emotional insides are repressed in a jar? How do I kick some motivation back in?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Oliver22 Feeling very alone
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm 21 and have been with my partner for nearly 2 years. He has depression and lately I am unsure how to help him and myself deal with it. When we first got to together it was all fine, we seemed to both be able to communicate and sort out any pr... View more

Hi, I'm 21 and have been with my partner for nearly 2 years. He has depression and lately I am unsure how to help him and myself deal with it. When we first got to together it was all fine, we seemed to both be able to communicate and sort out any problems. But in the last 6 months, he blames me for everything and nothing say or do I right. When we fight he can be very nasty and completely unreasonable. I try getting him to talk to me but he doesn't want to open up to me and discuss how he really feels. I don't want to break up, but it is getting really hard on both of us. He doesn't seem to care anymore, and sometimes it feels (in my opinion) that he wants to be miserable and would prefer to push me away than find a solution or way to sort things out. Lately I have been feeling down and withdrawn, and I am worried for myself. I have no motivation and it scares me! I don't feel i can talk about it with him, and I don't want to put any added pressure on him. I really love him, but don't know what is best for him, especially as I am not coping myself. Any advice on what to do about him and how to look after myself would be helpful, I don't know what else to do! Thanks

Hope1dream2 Teen pregnancy
  • replies: 4

During pregnancy I was perfectly fine with studies I studied well kept my head in the game but after having a baby it feels like everything is falling apart. I can't focus on anything, I don't even see the future I wanted in reach anymore and have so... View more

During pregnancy I was perfectly fine with studies I studied well kept my head in the game but after having a baby it feels like everything is falling apart. I can't focus on anything, I don't even see the future I wanted in reach anymore and have so much stress. I feel like just giving up. I don't feel like I can confide in my parents or anyone, there's so much bottled up inside, I just can't deal with taking care for a 4 month old and at the same time having to study is just troubling me. I am so close to graduating but I fear that I won't reach there, the motivation I had to study is no longer there.. even my grades have dropped. I just don't know what to do, everything is falling apart, I just feel like I cannot cope with all of this. The only pathway left seems like the one of giving up, is there anything I can do to bring my motivation and hopes up again? To come back into my aim? Normal 0 false false false EN-AU JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Pontius Who am I?
  • replies: 4

OK. What I am about to say might sound strange, but I will try to explain it well... I have a house in my head that looks like a castle. There are lots of people living inside and some of them are versions of me, and some are not. Probably a good ide... View more

OK. What I am about to say might sound strange, but I will try to explain it well... I have a house in my head that looks like a castle. There are lots of people living inside and some of them are versions of me, and some are not. Probably a good idea to say now that all the people know about all the other people (or so I believe) and have shared memory etc. Also, I think I created them all. Anyway, they all speak and have different personalities (there are at least 25 and they all have names). There are all sorts of people -- young, old, modern, medieval, female, male etc. I do not mind having them most of the time -- they are good company. One of them is 'me' (the one who is writing this). In the house she is called 'DR,' and she keeps everything running and has to deal with the outside world (i.e. you, school, tests etc.). However, there is a little issue because, for example, one of us wants to be really religious, and the ​rest of us don't really go in for that sort of thing. What should I do? Who should I listen to? I am a little confused. And who am I? Thank you. Pontius​

mrkd1991 My story
  • replies: 9

I figured I'd post about myself, excluding some details as to not distress or offend others. I am 24 years old, happily engaged, I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar type 2, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder,... View more

I figured I'd post about myself, excluding some details as to not distress or offend others. I am 24 years old, happily engaged, I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar type 2, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, alcoholism, dissociative disorder. I struggled with severe verbal and physical abuse growing up, bullying in school, countless suicide attempts, severe panic attacks, alcohol and drug abuse/addiction. I have seen countless specialists, taken numerous different medications but nothing helps. At present I am un managed and un medicated. Keeping up with the different aspects and changes of all my problems is very consuming, life often seems pointless.

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