im scared to reach out

[hey_world05]

i have been through a lot but now that im 15 ive been suggested to see a counsler about my problems but i just cant ive been throug neglect and truma. i also have been through mental and emotion abuse since i was 4 now i can barely eat, sleep and somenights talk or breath. most nights i go through my head but i cant fully breack down and i havent been ableto since i was 11 wheni thought i was finally loved then i got neglected by that person out of every one i know one 2 to 4 people havent hurt me and most days i sit in my room after school listen to music and cuddle a pillow with a tear in my eye not knowing why i got dealt the bad card of life and why its hitting me not and so hard esspecially. just a week ago i was writing to someone and a tear came to my eye in the first time in 2 years when i wrote i wanna truelly be happy again and i just wanna let my problems go and not effect me but i cant and I really need some help so next week im going to reach out to my child youth group worker and let them have a look at my situation and tell me what i need to do cause i dont know anymore i havent given up but over the past 4 years it crossed my head many times.

[Sophie_M]

Hello hey_world05, welcome to our friendly online community. We are so glad you decided to reach out to us here. We know how difficult it can be to reach out for help, so we're really glad you had the courage to do so. We think it is great that you are going to speak to your child youth group worker ext week - that sounds like a great plan. Often, opening up is hard, but once people do open up, they are usually glad they did. 

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

If you are interested, we would also recommend getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it. 

[Croix]

Dear hey_world05~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here, a quiet place filled with peple that have had troubles large and small. Having troubles tends to make you listen harder to others, relate if have had the same experiences and think of others and how they managed if you have not been there yourself.

When you set out above all that has happened to you in your 15 years I can understand why you wonder what a s**t hand life has dealt you. It is a wonder even one tear came to your eye, whatever you feel inside you have not given up.

I guess I'd like to suggest two things to you. The first is nobody can live though that and makes themselves improve and get happier by themselves. The load is simply to great for one, 15 or 50.. You have been greatly injured, on the inside.On the outside you's probably have no hesitation in seeing a doctor.

So you can see where I'm going , you need the proper medical help -plus decent people around you in your life - in order to reach the stage where you really don't want life to end or change, it is so much better.

Could you tell me what scares you a bout it? I held off in part as I thought I might be put on a ward (did not happen until later when I agreed). cold it be waht others might think?

Your child youth group worker might be a starting point. Is that person someone you like and has never let you down?

You can see a GP in a long consultation, or anyone at school you think will take it seriously.

Plus of course the Kids Help Line as Sophie suggests, voice or chat

Just a couple of avenues -what do you think might be best?

I do have one hint from my own experience. My problems had gone on for a very long time, were a mix of people and complicated. I realy did not think I'd be able to get it out without mucking it up so I took a week, wrote everything down (in dot-point form, not essays) and handed a copy to the psych I was seeing for the first time, it worked great.

I had enough time to remember it all, and put it in an orderly manner, plus of course I could use the copy again if I had to see someone else.

Learning to cope is hard at times, but you can get there. It is important you 'click' with your medical person, and end up having faith in then and knowing they understand the problems.

Do you have anyone at all, maybe a friend, or some family somewhere you have faith in who would just listen and care?

You said you listened to music, can I ask what you particularly like? I'm listening to Tom Waits .

Croix

[hey_world05]

I usually try to listen to techno based things or relaxing music but now I don't really have anyone because I moved along way from what I will forever call home. I would talk to the school cousler but I don't want it getting back to my parents and all I want is to be able to think and sleep and mainly when I'm alone not have to cuddle a pillow stare at the wall and try to imagine things getting better but that's a hard thought to think about

[geoff]

Hello hey_world, the school counsellor will not necessarily talk to your parents, not unless they fear something serious will happen which I hope is not the situation, however, if you have depression of any type talk with them, it's up to you to say what you want to, no one can force you, but see what they have to say.

We'll be here so you can tell us what you would like to, but please let us try and get you through this, we don't know who you are or what you look like, so it's completely anonymous.

Take care.

Geoff.