I was in two relationships. Now, I’m scared.

[PurpleStars]

I messed up.

I was in two relationships until October or November. One was real, one was fake. The fake was with a 21 years old, 5 years old than me. I told him about my actual REAL boyfriend, how we were in a relationship BEFORE HIM AND I a while ago, I’m not sure when but I have. He hates my boyfriend.

Just note that this fake relationship, this person doesn’t know it was fake. You might be asking, how was it fake? I never loved him, why would I? I built up a ‘relationship’ with him because he literally said it wouldn’t make him depressed if we weren’t together. I’m a nice person, I didn’t want him to be depressed. I put everyone else before myself. I didn’t look into the future, what would this do? It’s caused me depression and anxiety, PTSD and a lot of paranoia, I’m becoming anorexic too. Looks like I’ve been wrapped into this dark trap. I broke it off, like I said, now everyday I am scared, anxious and worried sick that he will hurt me because I made us break up. I’m so scared he will break me and my REAL boyfriend up. He’s very mean and vulgar now. Saying stuff like “I wonder what you’d feel like with your heart broken”, meaning that he wonders what would happen if my boyfriend and I broke up. I shouldn’t have even spoken to this man. I hate him. He’s scary. I regret even replying to his message. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to, nothing. I am clueless.

I’ve told my amazing REAL boyfriend about this fake relationship, he forgave me. I am so thankful for this angel. He just said as long as you didn’t send nudes. I told him of course not, as my stomach would sink.

I did, it’s child porn. I felt like I was forced to do so, he also sent videos of him. I am worried this MAN will use it against me, towards my boyfriend but I think he’s deleted them.. I hope.

”Why don’t you block him!?”. I’m scared he will attack me, hurt me.

He lives on the other side of the country. He knows my address.

I am so scared. I am so sorry I have made this stupid, pathetic mistake.

I need help, advice. Anything. Please help me..

[PurpleStars]

Geoff and to everyone.

Thank you.

I blocked him on everything. But I couldn’t find his email, he emailed me.

He is threatening to contact people around me. Assuming my parents.

I am so scared and sick. I’m going to tell my parents.

[PurpleStars]

Update.

When I blocked his email, it didn’t stop him from sending them, it sends the email itself to the spam section.

He says I have half a day to speak to him or he will contact my parents and apparently kill himself.

I told my parents and they were very supportive, they were so angry at this creep. They said if he contacts them they will call the police.

I also may have made another huge mistake. This time with my boyfriend.

I told him I sent the creep nudes. He was very upset with me and even told me to block him in everything. He was my push to do it.

I told the creep I told my boyfriend about us and he said “why!?”. We then had a huge argument and I spat at him “you ruined my life” and he followed up with “you ended mine”.

We then bickered some more until I fell asleep. Waking up at 4 to block him on everything.

I’m still very scared.

What if he actually does kill himself..? Will I be guilty? He said it’ll be my fault (in the email) because I said you ruined my life.

I’m sorry, again.

[Sophie_M]

Hi PurpleStars, if you are receiving communication from him stating that he intends to kill himself within a specific timeframe, then this is an emergency.  We would advise calling your local mental health crisis service or 000 and say that his life is at risk.  This is not something you should be dealing with on your own.

[geoff]

Hi PurpleStar, it was very brave for you to tell your parents but you have done the right thing.

If you are using Windows 10 then click the 'Junk' file at the top and it has 3 categories,

-Junk

-Phishing

-Block

so find his email address and press 'Block', although you probably know much more than I do on the computer.

I agree with Mary he is using 'emotional blackmail' so let your relationship with your actual boyfriend cure whatever bad feelings remain from the previous one.

You have nothing to do with this other guy and what he threatens you with, he may have other problems which maybe affecting him more, he will get tired of trying to contact you and move on.

Remember you can't dig through concrete to find water, you will get tired of trying, so if he is blocked then he will get sick of trying to contact you.

Go and enjoy your cruise, they are great fun, as I've been on one years ago.

Take care.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Hello Purple Stars

Sorry to be out of the loop for a day. I am so pleased you told your parents and even more pleased they are taking steps to protect you. I suggest you ask your parents to contact the police anyway.

If someone threatens to take their own life it is not your responsibility. Quite often it is a threat simply to upset you or force you to do something you don't want to do. Even if the person is serious it is not up to you to make them feel better. The best way to help is to do as Sophie has said and call emergency services. Sophie has told you what to do about it and this is what should happen without a second's thought. Can you show your parents Sophie's post and ask if they will contact the emergency services as suggested. Then go on your cruise and have a good time.

A couple of weeks away from home in the company of other people who have no intention of harming you will be a good relaxation. You will be safe and this other person may get the help he obviously needs.

If you can keep in touch while you are away and would like to keep posting then please do so. However I suspect you will be having a good time and not want to chat here. That's good. I would love to hear from you when you return.

Have a great holiday.

Mary

[IreneM]

Congratulations Purple Star

Firstly for telling your parents and boyfriend.

If people overreact to anything you say ... it is initial emotions. Just allow them a bit of time to accept what has happened and do not take to heart anything that they have said.

Give your boyfriend time to accept it and your relationship will heal as the others have mentioned. Remember: Time is the Healer! Don't expect changes overnight either.

You can at least be thankful for the support that you now have from your parents, and in time your relationship will heal. I know that it is awful at first but honesty will pay. You've done the right things, so just be patient.

As Sophie and Mary have said don't deal with this on your own, seek emergency assistance and go there with your parents.

Also in your Spam section you can select everything and delete it. After that you can empty your computer's Recycle Bin or Trash folder.

Hope that you can still have a good time on the cruise. Stay in touch with us.

Irene.