I was in two relationships. Now, I’m scared.

[PurpleStars]

I messed up.

I was in two relationships until October or November. One was real, one was fake. The fake was with a 21 years old, 5 years old than me. I told him about my actual REAL boyfriend, how we were in a relationship BEFORE HIM AND I a while ago, I’m not sure when but I have. He hates my boyfriend.

Just note that this fake relationship, this person doesn’t know it was fake. You might be asking, how was it fake? I never loved him, why would I? I built up a ‘relationship’ with him because he literally said it wouldn’t make him depressed if we weren’t together. I’m a nice person, I didn’t want him to be depressed. I put everyone else before myself. I didn’t look into the future, what would this do? It’s caused me depression and anxiety, PTSD and a lot of paranoia, I’m becoming anorexic too. Looks like I’ve been wrapped into this dark trap. I broke it off, like I said, now everyday I am scared, anxious and worried sick that he will hurt me because I made us break up. I’m so scared he will break me and my REAL boyfriend up. He’s very mean and vulgar now. Saying stuff like “I wonder what you’d feel like with your heart broken”, meaning that he wonders what would happen if my boyfriend and I broke up. I shouldn’t have even spoken to this man. I hate him. He’s scary. I regret even replying to his message. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to, nothing. I am clueless.

I’ve told my amazing REAL boyfriend about this fake relationship, he forgave me. I am so thankful for this angel. He just said as long as you didn’t send nudes. I told him of course not, as my stomach would sink.

I did, it’s child porn. I felt like I was forced to do so, he also sent videos of him. I am worried this MAN will use it against me, towards my boyfriend but I think he’s deleted them.. I hope.

”Why don’t you block him!?”. I’m scared he will attack me, hurt me.

He lives on the other side of the country. He knows my address.

I am so scared. I am so sorry I have made this stupid, pathetic mistake.

I need help, advice. Anything. Please help me..

[Ggrand]

Hello PurpleStar,

Welcome to the forums..

Awe sweetheart I’m really very sorry that you went through all that..I really don’t have much advise to give you, but wrong choices are made sometimes and I’m sorry you did..It sounds like he tricked you into doing what he wanted to do..it’s not your fault...

If anything I hope that I will bump your post up so someone with more knowledge than me will come and talk to you..

Sweety, Child porn is wrong, this fake relationship person is old enough to know this, and your probably not the first he tricked into doing this..He could do it again to a younger child, I really think that you knowing where he lives and who he is..it’s going to be hard but I think you should report him to the police before he does this again to someone else....

Your real bf is supportive of you and very caring, maybe you could sit down and tell him everything and he could go with you to the police...

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[PurpleStars]

Grandy, thank you.

I am too anxious to go to the police, I don't want my parents knowing and I don't want them to become disappointed in me, I feel like they already are. I'm not the best daughter. I'm 16, no license, no job, no talents...

As soon as I posted my forum, my stomach sunk. I was and AM scared he will somehow find this thread. He is so scary..

I.. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting here on my computer, barely being able to see from my tears.. I've made the worst decisions.. For two years, I've done this to myself. I don't wanna be hurt. I'm sorry..

I'm so scared.. I am so sorry..

[White_Rose]

Dear Purple Stars

Hello and welcome. This is a safe site and I see no reason why this pathetic excuse for a person should try to contact you here.

I am a grandma and I would be very upset if my 15 year old granddaughter was in this mess and was afraid to tell her parents or me. Parents chivvy their children around to get them to do their homework, be home by a certain time, clean their bedrooms etc, but when their children are in trouble they will act without blaming you. There are too many of these monsters around.

No reason to think they will be disappointed in you. This piece of work has clearly enticed you into this mess and I believe you need your parents help now before you become overwhelmed by the problem. You are afraid and that is no way to live your life. Get one parent aside and tell them if you do not want to tell them together. But please tell them. Immediately. This is serious. Consider you may stop another girl from being enticed by this person.

To get out of this mess you need to speak up. Your parents have no doubt realised you are not happy and will be wondering why. I know it's a hard thing to do and I hope you never have to do anything as hard again. So please collect all your courage together and tell mom and dad.

I will leave this post now as I need to go out. I hope to hear from you soon saying you have told mom and dad.

Mary

[PurpleStars]

I WANT to tell them..

I get so anxious, scared and sick when I even think about it.

I don't even know what to exactly say! I don't know what their reaction would be. Will they hate me? Will they reassure me? I don't know. I am so scared.

I'm sorry that I'm replying and I haven't told them like you asked..

I am going on holidays in 2 days, I'm worried something will happened during that time. I'll also be limited to my internet. I will barely be able to get it as I'm going on a cruise, so I can't keep up to date with you guys and the forum(s).

Again, I'm sorry.

[White_Rose]

Dear Purple Stars

I'm sorry if I frightened you in any way. Please accept my apologies. I am very concerned about your well-being. This forum is here to help people like you who are having difficulties in various ways. We offer support and suggestions to those who write in or we talk about our experiences which have some relevance to the person posting. It can be very reassuring to know others have gone through similar events as yours. I have to say I have not come across a situation like yours but I assure you I can understand how nervous you are.

There is never a need to apologise for the words you post or for your thoughts. It is helpful to know and understand what is happening for you. Are you going on holiday with friends or family. Sounds like a good idea. I have never been on a cruise. What do you think might happen while you are away. Have you told this person where you are going? He is hardly likely to be on board your cruise ship.

If he lives on the other side of the country how can he harm you? Can you tell me what details you have given him? I see you have given him your address but have you given him more information? It is important that you tell someone exactly what has happened. So how can you tell mom and dad.

You could print off this conversation or print only your own posts. Ask mom or dad to read it straight away. That's probably the easiest way. It will also show them how scared you are and how nervous about confiding in your mom and dad. Why would they hate you? They may be a little upset that you have got in this position but it's not a reason for them to be angry.

Sometimes when my children were little and hurt themselves by falling over etc I would hear the cry and go rushing out to see what had happened. If it was a minor injury and only needed reassurance I might be a little cross because I had been afraid they may have hurt themselves badly. Parents are like that. We are so relieved it is a small problem that the reaction sounds a bit like being cross. If however it was more serious then being cross is a waste of time. My son bounced off the trampoline and broke his collar bone. All I could think of was to get him to the hospital for treatment. I am sure your parents will have a similar reaction.

Try not to let your fear rule you. Print this page and show it to your parents. I look forward to hearing mom and dad are sorting things out with you.

Mary

[PurpleStars]

Please don’t apologise for frightening me, it’s all okay.

He knows I’m going on the cruise, he won’t be boarding. 1. He’s on the other side of the country. 2. He doesn’t have a job, he gets money from his parents that he still lives with.

What I mean by him harming me is using stuff against me towards people. Like showing them messages or even.. photos.. THOSE photos..

The details I’ve given him. Hm.. he knows my FULL name, even my middle. He follows me on every social media. We have each other’s numbers too. I’m sorry I made the big mistake/bad choice of telling him all of these..

Printing is a good idea. I often print out long paragraphs to my mum and dad (separately) how much I love them from time to time.

Thank you, Mary. You’re an angel.

I will keep up to date with you soon. I don’t want to print off the forum or tell them before my cruise. I hope this is okay. I don’t want them to worry during the cruise or anything. I’m sorry if that sounds selfish.

[geoff]

Hello PurpleStars, welcome to the forums.

I just wonder whether it was a friendship rather than a relationship because he was on the other side of the world, so if he posts any photos on the net in any way, the police will most definitely be knocking on his door, it's illegal to do any such thing.

Both you and your boyfriend need to block him on your mobile phones, any emails should never come through to you, once again stop him from trying to contact you or your boyfriend.

As much as this may disappoint you, take your name/s off facebook or any other social contact.

This is a situation where you do really need your parents help, but I know you are frightened, but the number of times I was too scared to tell my parents something, I couldn't count, but there is a chance they may find out and it's better to come from you rather than from someone who may distort the description.

Take your time and tell them a little bit at a time, either to mum or dad, and please remember that you only did this in good faith, helping him with his depression, and they will know that you are a nice person and talked into going that extra step, they will understand this, don't be afraid.

Imagine if you were smoking and tried to hide it from them, they will eventually find out and may get more annoyed if you pretended to disguise your breath.

Just look after yourself.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Hello Purple Stars

Geoff is right about blocking his phone calls and emails. Does he know your BF email address and phone number? I hope not as it will make matters more complicated and you will need to tell him to block these calls. It's also a good idea to take yourself off FB and other social media. At the very least block him from getting on to your media pages. Remember, if you write anything on FB it will be there forever. FB own the right to your posts even if you want to delete them. I suspect it is the same on other social media. Once made public it's there forever. So be careful what you write and what pictures you put up.

Before you go on holiday give this some thought. How well will you enjoy your holiday with all this in the background and with your parents not knowing. You will still need to tell them when you return and that will hang over you while you are away. I think it would be a good move to tell your parents today. I take it they are not going on the cruise with you. Is your BF going?

Your parents may worry about you while you are away once you talk to them but if you do not take your laptop or whatever you use he cannot contact you. I understand that it may feel more comfortable not talking to your parents and that you want to enjoy your cruise but it does not work like that. I think it will reduce your enjoyment of the holiday.

By the way, why do you think he lives across the other side of the country? I know you have his address but he may well be lying.

I am so very worried about you knowing there is no one near you to look after you. Please try and talk to your parents.

Mary

[PurpleStars]

It was a relationship.. we said I love you to each other.. every I love you I said was fake.. I hated it so much..

Even after breaking us up, he still calls me his baby..

I’m going to plan that the day I tell my parents, I will block him on absolutely everything, from email to social media and his number. I’ll also block his number on my parents phones because he actual threatens to contact them sometimes. He had never done it but still, it’s scary.

Like you said, I might even delete my social media’s or atleast deactivate them (temporarily deletes them).

I promise you, Geoff and everyone here. I will tell my parents. I feel really brave at the moment about it. I will do it after my cruise. I promise.

Again. I’m so sorry. Thank you so much..