I think im depressed- how do I talk to a doctor?

[auschic]

I thought I could fight this feeling but it has been going on for too long and I can feel it getting worse. Ive held this in for so long and im finally finding the courage to seek help.

Im 19 year old female. I recently had 2 weeks holidays off work, you would think that the average person would be out doing stuff. My routine for the whole 2 weeks was: wake up>watch movies/play video games>sleep> repeat. I just stayed in bed the whole time, id eat maybe 1 meal a day. I feel so crappy about it because I took time off work to specifically look for another job, improve my resume, catch up on study and see some friends/go out. I haven't done any of that. When my co workers asked what I did, i made up some lie because why would I say the truth? It sounds so depressing. 

What makes me feel even worse is Ive been invited out by friends and turned it down every time. Mainly because I just feel as if I have no motivation, I want to go and do these things but I just cant find the motivation to do it therefore I just stay in bed as it requires as little energy as possible. I feel this is becoming a problem and my friends are slowly stopping inviting me places as they know ill say no. Its not because I dont like them, I love them but I just dont feel well. ive had this sick feeling for a long time and I dont know if they understand, to be honest, i dont even know if I myself understand. 

Its also a real struggle going to work, i know i have to go but somewhere inside is telling me to just stay in bed. I used to be so lively, out going and crazy but i feel myself slowly deteriorating inside. I cant explain it, I just feel nothing and I dont know why. Can anyone else relate and maybe know what my problem is? All I know is im sick of feeling like this, after a long time and I need to fix it because its causing me to miss out on 'the best years of my life'

 Ive taken the test on beyond blue and I scored high for depression. I just want this feeling to go away and I want to live my life. I know i need to talk to a doctor but I dont know how. What do i say? Do i just go in and say 'hey i think im depressed'? Will they say no im not? The thought terrifies me to be honest. Its all too overwhelming and its just easier to sleep all day. on the topic of sleep, i sleep 11-12 hours at a time. If thats not depressing i dont know what is.

[Narniakid]

Hi auschic!

 I am sorry to hear of your troubles. Do not be afraid of them - if happens to the best of us, and it doesn't mean you are any less of a wonderful brilliant person. 

I applaud you on coming on here to have a look at the symptoms of depression - the first step to recovery is recognising and accepting that you've got the so-called black dog. 

Do not be afraid of asking your GP about depression - chances are they're more than willing to help, and they will be able to refer you to a therapist or a psychologist who will do some questionaires with you, and find the root of your problem. I was diagnosed with severe depression five years ago, and I have made a remarkable recovery thanks to the support of my GP and my beloved psychologist. 

I do hope you find the courage to talk to your GP, because seeking professional help is so important.

You will be okay! And remember you're never ever going through this on your own - the BB community supports you ❤️

Chin up,

Crystal

[geoff]

dear Auschic, it's good that Crystal has replied to you already, and hopefully has made you welcome.

In your comment you say 'I can't explain it', well no one really knows why we get, there maybe personal reasons which can tell us why we could have it, such as the passing away of someone very close to us, or other causes, which is really sad, and I feel for them.

Depression just swoops down before we know it, a big dark cloud, and an angry dog that has total control over us, so we become paralysed, and I apologise if this hurts anyone by saying this.

We can't go on day to day struggling with this illness, we need help, so we go and see our doctor, who are well trained in noticing what our face and eyes tell him/her that something is wrong, and when we start talking we might break down in tears, or our voice has a waver in it, so they will ask 'how are you', bingo that's the key to begin your conversation if you are able to do this.

They may suggest that you start taking antidepressants (AD), beginning on a low dose and then gradually building the dosage up, only after this medication has settled in your system.

He/she will then offer you a medicare plan which entitles you to 10 free visits to see a psychologist, which is available every 12 months, but you and this psych will need to have a good rapport, otherwise it won't work.

It may seem to be a huge effort to see your doctor but you have to realise they are the link for your recovery.

You're too young to be crippled by depression so please book an appointment, and hopefully you can get back to us. Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi there auschic  (cool name by the way)

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and providing your post.

Great to see Geoff and Crystal respond to you with some good advice and great words also.

A couple of things I’d also like to mention.

Firstly, if you’re unsure about which doctor (whoops, sorry about that, I didn’t mean any voodoo thing – you know, with Witch Doctor – sorry, I’m rambling again) to go and see, on this site, Beyond Blue have a section where you can search for gp’s – and in that, hopefully you’ll find one or more in your local area.  These doctors are all experienced in dealing with mental health issues and from that, they would be best placed to provide you with appropriate guidance, perhaps medication (if they see fit for this) and hopefully to a suitable psychologist/counsellor as well.

I think so many of us on this site have been in the situation where you get invited out by friends only to say or to think up different reasons for not going and in the end, those friends stop asking – I’ve been in this boat and still am, but it’s just something we can’t deal with – our home is our sanctuary and other places are laced with possible stressors, anxieties and who knows what else.

I thought you were writing about me there as well, when you said, I used to be so lively, so out-going and even a little bit crazy and yet for the most part all that is gone.  For me, sometimes it reappears – perhaps more times at home, in front of my kids, which is a safe place to be crazy.   What I also think on this is, perhaps displaying all those traits of liveliness, craziness and out-goingness were all things used in the past to mask our true inner feelings.

And then you say (and quite rightly yet again) that you can’t explain it, you feel nothing and don’t know why.    YES yes, this is true and why we can’t explain it is the $6Million dollar question – for if we could, I think that could be the amount of money you could earn for coming up with the answer to that question.

As long as you can, “please keep going to work”.  Doing this not only earns you money (much needed in our society) but it also has the benefit (hopefully) of occupying your mind for a reasonable length of time and so it keeps the black dog at bay for that time – hopefully.

Anyway, would really love to hear back from you.

Neil