I suck at my job

[I_never_know_what_to_call]

For the longest time I've never felt explicitly talented at anything, or particularly interested enough to gain extreme skill in anything. I somehow landed a full time job 7 months out of highschool, I re-prioritised based on mine and my girlfriend's income. And we're just about to go to pre approval on the home loan. And now that I'm so close, my lack of ability and overall lack of life experience has meant I'm landing my final written warning at work for underperforming. Frankly I'm screwed. I never really had much self worth to begin with but I thought I was okay, people liked me, I was above averagely clever. But working at this job and being told and proven time and time again that I am shit at this job. That I just need to "get my shit together" and I'd actually be fine. IF IT WERE THAT EASY WOULD I NOT HAVE DONE IT BY NOW? I just feel like just as life was starting to work, starting to make sense and I had purpose and direction, things I craved for so long, it's all being taken away. And no matter how hard I try to be better, I just continue to be a burden on my coworkers. I'm going to lose my job and I don't know what to do.

[JaneVV]

Hey! I just want to let you know that you’re not alone. I also started working straight after school in a sales role - at the time, I had never worked before and I was a complete introvert so it was a massive challenge for me. Like you, I was struggling to perform and I was told that if I don’t lift my game, I’ll get performance managed out. That nearly broke me - I felt like a complete failure and didn’t want to keep working there because of it.

For me personally, my motivation was to prove everyone who ever doubted me wrong - yes I was upset with what they were saying, but I just had to cop it on the chin and bounce back as best as I could. I started observing senior colleagues and getting an idea of what they were doing to make them successful - depending on your role, you could ask your manager if you can do the same. I also asked for extra resources, training and support from my manager when we were reviewing my performance - you’ve already taken the first step in recognising that you are struggling, now you just have to develop the courage to let your manger know and ask for extra support.

After doing the above, i went from barely reaching 40% of my targets, to now meeting and exceeding them which is something I never ever thought would be possible, so please don’t give up hope.

If the role you are doing isn’t right for you, then it’s ok to consider looking at other roles - there’s no point staying somewhere where you are not happy and where people are not giving you the support you need. Also, do not forget the fact that you are young. Yes, getting a home loan might be your priority at the moment, but you have plenty of time. It’s ok to step back and think, you know what, maybe it’s not the right time, maybe we can put this on hold. Yes, things may take a little longer, but at least you won’t feel that extra stress and pressure. I’m not sure about you but I like to deal with one thing at a time so maybe you could work on improving your job security first and then later look at your second goal of getting a home loan. Either way, I’m sure it will all work out and in a few years time you will be looking back thinking why was I even worried.

I hope this helps. Wishing you all the best,

JaneVV