I need some advice

[I_need_help]

Okay, so I don't know where to start but I'm just going to get straight to the point.. I've been struggling for about 6 months now and it's getting to the point where I know this isn't just a phase. Everything has gotten so much worse lately and I honestly think I have depression. My grades have dropped tremendously, I've shut off from everyone and pushed them away, I've lost so much weight, I keep waking up at around 2-3am every morning, I do have thoughts about serious things. My birthdate isn't real and I am under 18. I'm not attention seeking. I really, really need help. But I don't think anyone will take me seriously if my birthdate was real.

I honestly think I have depression. I know what I'm feeling and this isn't right and this isn't just a phase. I cannot tell my parents, I'm not saying this because I don't want to. It's because I CANT. I've tried explaining it to my mum and she gets really angry and says "I'm going to shut down your world if you continue with this silly behavior."

I NEED HELP. My grandmother died 10 months ago and we had a really close bond, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. And my dad has had depression for 7 years now. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with genetics either but I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE.

I can't keep doing this, I think I have depression and I don't want to do this anymore, please, I'm begging for advice.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[I_need_help]

Hi Geoff! Thankyou for understanding and taking my problems into consideration, I can't see anyone about this and I just don't way to anymore. Before I was willing to see someone but I just want to be alone now.

[Doolhof]

It sounds like you are finding life really tough at present. If you don't feel like you can contact anyone in the world right now in person, please keep us all posted here on BB. I'm quite concerned for you.

We here on this site understand too well the struggles of depression, please know we care for you and are willing to read, accept, understand and sympathise with anything you want to or need to write.

I do so hope you will phone one of the support services if life becomes too much for you. We all struggle some days and need help to get ourselves through.

Thinking of you and hoping you know people do care for you, me included. I wish I could be there for you to give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on if that is what you need right now.

From Dools.

[AGrace]

Hi I need help,

I was about your age when the real mental illnesses kicked in. There wasn't much available back then, so I understand what it's like to feel alone. I also know what it feels like to just want to wish it away. I always thought that if I just kept to myself everything would just miraculously get better. I also didn't want to burden anyone. I didn't want my parents to think that I was abnormal, and I didn't think my sisters would understand.

I know you feel like giving up, like you're not going to be able to get help, and that no one will take you seriously. Any Dr who finds out what you are going through will take you seriously. It's the illness that's wanting you to retreat and surrender. The illness makes you think that it'll be better just to hide away from the world. The illness doesn't want you to get help, it's trying to overwhelm you.

Even at your age, it's possible to get support. A GP won't inform your parents without your consent. In fact neither will the school counsellor. I hope that you will try to fight just one more time, and get yourself in to see a Dr. It will be so worth it in the end. Just think about not having to feel the way you do anymore, let that be your motivation. Sadly it won't just disappear if you keep it all to yourself.

I know the BB team have been in contact with you offline. If you're feeling unsure of anything you can always call them first. The trained professionals who take the calls will be able to guide you toward what is best for you.

You're not alone, we are all here worried about you and happy to support you.

AGrace

[I_need_help]

Thankyou. But I don't think I'll be contacting anyone... I don't like opening up to people and I'm just really stubborn, so I'll just keep it to myself. But thankyou...

[I_need_help]

But I don't even know where to go, my parents take me everywhere so I don't even know how I would get to the GP. I can't tell my parents and as much as I want help I just can't because there isn't anywhere that I can go without my parents knowing or finding out. I'm just sick of feeling like this and I don't think anything will really help, my parents will never understand.

[beyondblue_Online_Communi]

Hi I Need Help, It can be hard to cope with depression at 14, but you have shown tremendous resourcefulness to come to the forums for support and incredible trust to open up as you have here. Often, being an adolescent, it can seem the people you don't want to help don't understand and brush things aside as being part of teen years. We know that you are in pain and this is something you genuinely want to work past. There is help. If you aren't sure how to proceed, please call your mental health team (phone number provided to you in a private email) or if needed, call us on 1300 22 4636 and we can help connect you with them and discuss your options. Alternatively, you can use our webchat from www.beyondblue.org.au between 3pm and midnight every day. Many young people, and children, use webchat because it can feel more private and comfortable. You don't need to tell us any identifying information, and we support children and young people every day. All of us here on the forums take you very seriously. We want you to take yourself seriously and follow up by getting some professional support. 

[I_need_help]

Okay. Thankyou, I might one day when I build up the nerve...

[I_need_help]

I'll take it into consideration but I'm not sure if I have the confidence... Thankyou though I will think about it!

[Doolhof]

Dear I Need Help,

I really wish all of this help and assistance was around when I was your age! We didn't even have computers when I was a teenager nor mobile phones. Can you imagine that? We weren't allowed to use the home phone at all as kids so had to save up our pocket money and use the public phone box which was next to the Post Office.

We still had a manual exchange in our small town so that meant the lady in the Post Office had to answer our call and ask us who we wanted to talk to, and then she would connect us! When we had finished our call, we always said Goodnight to her before we hung up!

These days it is all so different. As the Community Moderator has explained so well, you can use the webchat. I have used that service recently and it was very helpful to me. It is just like sending an email or using this post system, only thing is you have a real live person at the other end giving you advice, reading what you are writing and they are there to help you. If you don't feel confident to talk with someone face to face, then the webchat is the go. Please give it a try.

You mentioned in an earlier post that you are quite stubborn, oh, how I remember that as a teenager and a young adult! Stubbornness is great to get you through some things, but please don't let it stand in the way of you getting help and assistance with your mental health. Channel that stubbornness, so that instead of it preventing you from getting help, you use it to get all the help you can until you are satisfied you have enough answers and the right help to get you back up on your feet and running again, so to speak.

I do so hope you will try the web chat. Please let us all know how you are getting on, as we do care for you. Thinking of you, from Dools.

[I_need_help]

Hi!

That would be really horrible having to live like that, I couldn't imagine doing it! But I will use the webchat, I just don't know if that can be used for a long term thing. As much as webchat helps out a lot, it won't cure my depression. I'm trying super hard though. Thankyou so much for caring..