I’m so lonely it hurts

[lyingcat]

I have no friends. At all. I stopped talking to my only friend about a month ago because of issues we had. We haven’t been close for a while before that though.

So now I have no one to talk to. I go to work and that’s literally the only social interaction I get (outside of my household). It makes me feel really down and I have no idea what to do.

Also I used to talk to this guy I had a crush on (like nearly 3 years ago) and he ghosted me. Now I keep thinking about it and it makes me feel crap. I know that’s random but I just get caught thinking how he would be a good friend. Plus I’d never had a crush before (even though I’m 21) or since.

I tried a BJJ class last night and it was fun but I just keep thinking that I’m going to be alone, platonically and romantically.

I think I’d really like to talk to someone about my loneliness and low self esteem but I’m not sure where to go? Is that a legitimate thing to talk about and to get help with?

I went to Headspace 4 years ago for another reason and they won’t give me any more sessions. I went to a GP about it months ago and they referred me but I didn’t feel like they were really listening to me so I didn’t go.

I feel so much shame and embarrassment that I’m so sad I have no friends. It feels so embarrassing to talk about, every time I think about it I just want to cry. It actually feels physically painful sometimes.

[Doolhof]

Hi lyingcat,

Sorry to read you are feeling so lonely, I know it is not a nice feeling to have!

You mentioned that you work, is there anyone there you could invited to join you in going to the movies perhaps?

Please excuse my ignorance but what is a BJJ class? If you enjoyed it, could you go again?

Could you consider some volunteer work, even one weekend a month, may be a way to meet different people.

Are there groups or interests that you could find groups to join in your area?

You could try taking to your Dr again, or maybe use the phone help line here on 1300 22 4636, the support workers may be able to make some suggestions.

Working on your self esteem may be beneficial...that is a work in progress for me! Ha. Ha.

Connecting with people can take a bit of work. Even trying to have a brief chat or saying hello to people at places like the shops helps me feel less lonely at times.

Hope you find some ways of connecting with people!

Cheers from Dools

[kanga_brumby]

Hi lyingcat you could try joying a walking club in your capital city. there are bound to be several. Many have equipment you can hire. Plus often they do day walks, minimal equipment required to buy the walks themselves are graded EASY, MEDIUM & HARD, easy it usually done at a slow amble with plenty of time to stop for photos medium is done a bit faster with a small amount of time for photos and meal breaks. hard Is done at a fast walking pace no photos unless you have stopped for the day or just starting. Quite a few people join walking groups as a form of dating service. and keeping fit at the same time One of their activities are bike rides through the mountains or roads in the city or country. Plus they have meetings about once a month You could give that a try.

Kanga

[HamSolo01]

hey there lyingcat

Sorry to hear about these feelings of loneliness and sadness you are having.

It sure isn't the greatest. I have been feeling it myself too lately. I think sometimes it can be helpful to know that other people feel loneliness too - so it makes just a little bit easier to chew on.

Have you considered changing GPs? You mentioned you saw people at headspace in the past, so perhaps if you can remember how it helped and what they did that helped you?

What you spoke about sounds rough and there is definitely people you can speak to about it. There is no such thing as an illegitimate reason to talk to someone about your feelings of loneliness and sadness.

Btw, that isn't to say you have an actual mental health issue. Sometimes we just need to clear the air about these things and get our lives back to where we wanted to be.

I am 24 and have been on these forums for a year now and they are also a good stream of support - support is essential.

All the best with what you decide to do

[axkc]

Hello lyingcat

There’s one thing that people always think.

It is bad to have no friends.

That’s not always true. Sometimes, the reason we find ourselves alone is because we were hanging around the wrong people. Take some time. Or maybe it’s been too long. Don’t forget to go out, keep trying to interact with people. I cannot promise, but there is little doubt that things will change, for the better.

Don’t give up.

Currently I have no friends either. But I keep telling myself that even when the loneliness is overwhelming, I’ll keep putting myself out there. And if you don’t think that’s an option, remind yourself.

There’s NOTHING embarrassing about being lonely.

We all feel hurt sometimes and need someone to lean on. Humans cannot live without human interaction. Look after yourself. Spend some time learning about you and your needs. Because one day, you will meet someone who will want to learn about you, be with you and treasure you.

axkc

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Lyingcat.

As someone who is going through highschool with no friends, no one to talk to for no one wants to be around me, those of which that did left me for more popular people and thus I'm now shunned as a loner. I found talking to myself a relief. This may not be the best option for you due to the apparent severity and then again I am no professional nor am I medically certified to make any medical assumptions only observations. I suggest (and you may disregard this altogether but for me it worked) having an imaginary friend or, more seriously a tulpa. A tulpa is like a sentient being in your head. It's a living and separate consciousness within you and can be visualized as a person (it's best not to have them look like someone you previously have known) and can have conversations with you the more you manifest and recognize it's presence. My own is called Anei, unlike most tulpa's, she came to me in a dream originally but since then we have formed a deep bond and friendship. This may be what you want or need. Of that I am not sure. But if you were like me, and this seems that it is so, desperate for someone to talk to but to scarred to actually do so. Try it.

Hopefully this works for you as it did for me.

Sincerely,

Just another guy.