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i’m sad and hate school
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i hate school idk what to do anymore. i love being with all my friends but they are all in year 10 and i’m in year 9 and i hate my grade because everyone is so mean to each other. i hate most of my core classes especially math because i don’t get along with my teachers at all i also barely have any friends in class and feel ignored because everyone is so close. i feel like i’ve given up and now i can’t do anything mostly cuz i don’t want to because i’m a huge procrastinator. i struggle the most in math on my own but my new math teacher is so annoying he’s so mean to people for no reason and he gave up on me and ignores me so i can do whatever but i wish he at least pretended he cared even tho i’d still probably not wanna do anything. it’s like when teachers don’t help i’m mad but when they do i’m also mad because i really don’t want to do the work. i like to draw and make art and i want to do it as a job one day and i always draw in class and when i’m meant to be doing homework and stuff. i don’t feel bad normally but my parents get mad. i used to feel extreme guilt to the point i would skip days of school from things that really didn’t matter much. that was a few years ago now but i went to counselling to help me last year (i was mostly feeling guilty about my thoughts even tho i can’t control them) i feel so trapped in school and it’s worse because my closest friend lives far away. and my parents NEVER let me stay home because they don’t want me to be behind. i love my parents and they are so supportive of me but i just desperately don’t want to go to school sometimes but i can’t do anything because of them it’s so annoying. i’ve thought about just dropping out and going to tafe or something. i also do music (percussion/drums) so i have stuff to bounce back onto. but i just hate my school and i also think i have a lot of intrusive thoughts thats are annoying me a lot recently and weird dreams. sometimes i think i have adhd or something going on but i feel like i can’t talk to mum about it cuz she said she thinks she diagnosed my sister too early and that she just says everything is cuz of her autism (but she has a lot more problems going on and she is against therapy) i skip a lot of my classes in chill out space. whenever i try to tell adults about how i reallyyyy don’t wanna go to school they tell me “i don’t wanna go to work but i still have to” but it’s so different because they chose to be there i didn’t choose to be at the place that makes me miserable i feel like no one really listens to me even when i genuinely feel really upset no one ever helps me feel better except for my friends or my brother (he doesn’t live with me) i love my parents so much but when it comes to school they don’t comfort me in the way i wish they would i feel like adults don’t take me seriously anymore . anyway sorry if the grammar is bad i just have a lot of feeling right now. i’m so tired and can’t sleep so i thought i’d just write this instead
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Kind regards,
Sophie M
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I totally get that
