I'm really struggling right now.

[IndigoMultiversity]

Hi, this is my first time posting here.

I'll stress that I'm not feeling really bad.

I'm really just not coping as well as I'd like with everything right now.

I have a counsellor and that is going alright, we have a focus direction.

I've just been feeling like I'm overwhelmed, I guess.

I've been studying for most of my life and I still have a little bit to go but due to my life circumstances, I have to go find a part time job shortly. I've not had one before and I feel so scared about it. Especially as I feel that I'll fail.

I feel that I lack good friends. You know how most people have those friends who'll talk to them all time and you can confide in each other? I don't have that at all. I kinda crave that connection with people. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship.

I feel pressured in areas that I feel really anxious in to fix it immediately.

I'm scared that I'll need to be reliant on medication but I'm scared to try it and I'm scared to admit that I may need it.

I feel just sad and sorry for myself a lot.

I feel like I wreck a lot of stuff and it's not always replacable.

I feel like I suck. I feel like I'm not worth it.

Then I just feel so ashamed of myself. I feel tired. So tired. I feel so scared of rejection. I feel so scared that I'll fail.

I do tell my counsellor this and they encourage me and assure me that I'm a normal and competent person and that there is nothing wrong with me. It's just so hard to believe that too.

I'm just having a bad night really and I need to get my feelings out.

Thanks for reading I guess.

[Birdy77]

Dear Indigo,

I'm glad you've come here to get some things off your chest.

It's a good place to come to do that, people here understand what it feels like to feel very low and those feelings of unworthiness you described.

Going out to find your first job can be scary, and when you feel overwhelmed with the other areas of your life that are causing you worries, it can feel all too hard.

Once you prepare yourself with a short resume and cover letter, and make those first applications you will possibly feel better.

I'm sad to hear you feel lonely without good friends. That can feel very isolating. I hope you feel less isolated being able to discuss your feelings here.

I understand very well the fear off failure, I struggle with that too, and it is a real burden because it stops us from doing things and starting things.

Mine comes from my father being extremely critical of me and me developing perfectionism. A big burden on my life. Is that something you can relate to?

You are very welcome here Indigo.

I hope you will talk more.

🌻birdy

[Inkyinsect]

There is nothing shameful about needing medication. There is nothing wrong with needed a little bit of extra help chemically. ❤️ Glad you came here for help