Dear Sunbear74~
As Paul has already said, welcome here. Frankly I think your situation is quite serious enough to come here for advice. It sounds very much like you are going down-hill and do not have any support. So matters need to be acted on right now.
Being exhausted, isolating your self and being isolated. Having your father going mad at you all the time and feeling you have to wear a mask so people don't see how your really are all makes for great stress and pressure. Add to that the normal every-day hassles of going to Uni, and you end up with a very difficult life. You feel at fault, not coping when you should and other things that make you feel wretched.
Actually you sound a lot like I did when I was becoming more depressed. You have tried the sensible things you can do yourself, the lifestyle, exercise and so on. There most definitely have their place, they are important and you should persevere with them, but are not always enough in themselves.
You did not mention rewarding yourself and distractions though:( They are vital!
May I suggest you see your GP in a long consultation and say everything that has been happening to you and how you are reacting. This can be very difficult to do. I find I have to write everything down at my leisure and share the paper during the consultation. If not I'd forget some things and chicken out talking about others.
I would also see a Uni Councillor, they can be very useful if you fall behind and they are a confidential service.
Apart from getting medical support is there anyone in your life you can talk to, who will want to support you and cares? It does make a difference, even if the person has no direct experience of what you are going though.
A pity about your parents, what do you think the problem is?
We care here, and would like you to talk more about your life and how you are getting on.
Croix
