I'm in a bad place and needed to write it down......

[IthoughtIdtrythis]

So I'm a 16 year old kid whose been going through some stuff. But, nothing particularly bad has happened to me. I started getting overwhelmed and start crying when I'd pack my lunch for school, for no reason, 6 months ago. I thought it was strange, but didn't really address it. After a while of feeling, empty and void of any motivation for basic tasks. I reached out to a friend. He took me to go see the GP and, she said I had major depressive disorder. The diagnoses made sense but, I don't know where it came from. I've always been somewhat pessimistic about the world in general, but that was always just me. Everything was going perfectly in my life, I finally had made plenty of friends, after being teased and excluded for 2 years, my grades where perfect, my life was perfect. And yet, I'm miserable, I feel nothing. I started sleeping in everyday for school and being self destructive. My grades have dropped to the point where I'm not even passing, my rooms a mess, and I just feel, nothing. I just want to feel something again. I can't look to the future with excitement for whats to come, everyday is just another day, they've all moulded into each other and it feels like it wont end. But everyone says theres a light at the end of the tunnel, and I believe them, I just don't see any light yet. Part of me thinks it's because I got everything I ever wanted, the things I thought would make me happy, only to realise happiness is a fleeting moment, I'll always be running on my hedonic treadmill. Waiting for the next thing that'll fill the void. But I think I just stopped running, and I don't know if I ever can again.

I don't know if writing here will help me, and I wasn't able to capture how I truly feel in so few words. But I'm drowning. And this, this is me gasping for air. If anyone is reading this, thank-you, and sorry it was so dark, but unfortunately it gets dark without the mask I put on.

Yes I know the mask is ironic considering I'm posting this anonymously but still, uno what I mean.

Have a nice day, I really mean it.

[Sophie_M]

Hey, I thought I’d try this, welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We’re sorry to hear you have been struggling in this dark space. We understand that this feeling must be overwhelming.

We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.
If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.
 

[geoff]

Hello, we're with you and know exactly what and how you are feeling.

This illness has the capacity to override any good you have in life, whereas before anything going against how you feel, we normally could cope and find a way to handle it, depression doesn't allow this and I only say this as someone who has struggled with it.

I'm not a qualified doctor but being on the receiving end know this.

It's so difficult since we feel as though we have everything in life and there's no reason why we should be depressed, but when our emotions, stress, attitude and emotions suddenly change in a negative way and for a long time, that's when help is required.

None of this is your fault so please don't blame yourself and along with Sophie_M's advice you can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, webchat or online and help people up to the age of 25.

I just want to send this off to you, letting you know we are all with you.

Geoff.

[gig_]

i dont reslly know to do this it’s my first time and i too af in really bad place right now. i’m suffering from extremely poor body image issues and it’s really getting me down. i feel guilty and wanna cry whenever i eat but i can’t help it and i have this voice in my head telling me i’m fat snd ugly and beating me down. i can’t even bare to look at myself in the mirror anyone and it’s just eating away at me more and more every day but i don’t know how to make it better and have nobody to tell. i can deal with looking this way any mire but i can’t seem to lose any weight i’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself and i guess i just need someone to talk to. i’m sorry if this isn’t really what i’m meant to be posting but i didn’t have anywhere else to go

[Sophie_M]

Hey gig_

Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. It sounds like you're going through a really difficult time at the moment with eating and body image troubles - it all sounds really overwhelming. We just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and we're sure that many of our community members can relate to these feelings. 

Given the way you're feeling, we think it is important that you get some professional help if you don't have some already. Things can get better, especially if you have the right support in place. If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. There is an organisation called the Butterfly Foundation which offers support for eating disorders and body image issues. We'd recommend you check out their website - https://butterfly.org.au/

We noticed that you posted on a generic thread. Please feel free to create your own, specific thread in the "young people" section for some extra support. We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out whenever you feel up to it. 

[smallwolf]

@I thought I'd try this - depression can come from different things. Perhaps a predisposition/family history, or a medical condition or way we deal with past experiences. For me it is fair to say all of the above. If you feel comfortable writing here, please do so. Otherwise Kids help line is also a great space.

@gig_ - I just want to welcome you here to the beyond blue forums and hope you get to see the post from Sophie. I am not sure what is going on your life to make you have these thought. If you do create your thread, I hope I can also find it to chat with you.