I inherited depression and life sucks

[iwantwings]

I inherited depression and anxiety from my parents and it just sucks. I went to counsellors, psychologists, tried therapy and coping techniques, but its like a prison and I just want to get out or start life again... I think its because I inherited it, it doesn't have a cause, it just started, that its so hard to treat and get rid of.

I started taking medications which have helped with some symptoms, like stomach pain but in some ways it's still so bad. I can't go out with friends anymore, because of severe panic attacks, so I'm really lonely and feel like I'm missing out on the college life I was so looking forward to. I can't even get dressed in the morning.

I kinda gave up on psychologists because it doesn't seem to help... Do I just have to wait until it recovers? What if it doesn't recover... Why did my parents have me if they knew I could inherit it... :'(

[Quercus]

Hi Iwantwings and welcome to the forums.

It is clear you are really struggling with loneliness at the moment as well as the panic attacks. I can understand feeling frustrated at being trapped and isolated by your illness and many others here will too.

Until you find treatment that helps please reach out whenever you need to. These forums and all of the helplines allow you to reach out to people who relate to you. There is a social section with a virtual cafe for under 25s (and an entire section of the forums for posts by members under 25) which it might help to seek out people your age who feel the same.

It can feel like you are missing out on life and this is a good reason to keep reaching out for medical care. Have you been assessed by a psychiatrist? They are doctors specialising in mental health where psychologists and therapists are not medical doctors. I feel this means they have more experience in medications and this area is a bit of trial and error anyway. It is worth a try.

I am a parent and although I wasn't aware of my illness I did know my husband has a strong family history of mental illness. It didn't change that we wanted a family. I felt he would make a wonderful Dad. Having experience with mental illness means we are more aware of what to look for and trying to help our kids learn resilience and self care. Basically we wanted children to share our lives with and to love. I do worry at times that I am selfish but I remind myself with good health management and family who prioritise mental health and self care a mental illness is not the worst thing I could give to my kids.

What sort of things are you doing to in terms of self care?

[Tess2]

Hi iwantwings,

I don’t know whether depression and anxiety are inherited, the personality types and dispositions that lead to them may be. I have had both since my early 20s I am now nearly 70. My mother had depressive traits and struggled, I have a brother with serious issues and a sister with OCD. Both my sons have had periods of depression and severe anxiety.

I don’t blame my mother or her mother, or anyone else. I am not saying you blame your parents, but part of feeling better may be getting some insight into their lives and what triggers their depression and anxiety.

Are you getting enough support? Don’t give up on psychologists, you need to find the right one for you. It sounds like you are really struggling to get by. You mention friends , do you have one or two that you can confide in? They may be very understanding and able to help you feel connected to people.

Stick with the anti depressants if they are helping and go to see your gp as often as you need, even if it is just to touch base and say how you are feeling.

you will get lots of support here.

Tess