Hey Jessica, welcome to the forums! 🙂
Firstly, there's definitely nothing wrong with you. There's lots of reasons someone can't make friends, and usually it's simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not so much anything you've done.
I know for myself, I had trouble making friends at school and was bullied. I blamed myself a lot for it then, but looking back, it really wasn't my fault.
Sometimes it can really just come down to not being in a community with relatable people. Whether it be maturity difference, age difference, different interests, or even going through something others may not understand (grief, depression, etc.)
It can feel really alienating to feel different around a group of people, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you haven't found the right people yet.
Still, it's hard to be alone, and loneliness can cause self-doubt and affect self-esteem. You may end up asking "why me?" all the time, and even the things you enjoy can feel draining because you have to do it alone. It's not easy.
Well I may have some tips for you if it helps!
Tips to making friends:
- Join any groups/clubs you're interested in. Being around people with the same interests as you can definitely help you meet a few new friends.
- It can be difficult, but always try saying "hello" first and asking about a person's life, or how their days been. Sometimes the hardest part in getting to know others is simply breaking the silence.
- Learn assertiveness skills so you don't end up with friends that take you for granted.
- Get out and do the things you enjoy. Sometimes daily, repetitive activities such as walking your dog, visiting your local library, or attending sporting events can help you bump in to new people.
Tips to coping with loneliness:
- Try not to spend too much time inactive. Things like boredom can make lonely periods really difficult. So try to keep your mind on something if you can, either a chore or something you enjoy.
- Relaxation and meditation. Clearing your mind with music, a good book, or exercise can really help.
- Don't obsess over why others may not like you. Because while one person may not like something about you, high chances are there's someone out there who absolutely loves that about you. You'd be surprised.
- Keep an ipod, sketchpad, phone, etc. with you for times you are alone in public.
- Remember everyone goes through bouts of loneliness and no friends in their life. You're completely normal!
