I FEEL UGLY

[NalaDawn]

Ever since I started high school I have gotten told I was ugly because of my red hair and how people would never date a red haired girl because it would be like dating an orangutan or that I have cancer just because my eyebrows and eyelashes were so light , I have recently changed schools and people are much more accepting but every time I look in the mirror I see this ugly girl that no one will ever like and what makes it worse is that I have absolutely no self confidence , some days I feel like I am to ugly for people to look at and I just want to cry and cry and cry because I don't feel good enough for anyone

[Makers_Marker]

Hey NalaDawn, sounds like you've been around some very toxic people but school does tend to be like that sometimes. I haven't seen you but it would be very unusual for anyone to be so against red hair that there aren't any red heads that they find attractive. It's the kind of thing that is easy to get a complex about because people are more likely to be consciously aware of and comment on your hair than say your face shape or so many of the other things that we can either have a preference for or not, but that doesn't mean that hair is actually the most important thing in determining if people find us physically attractive or not. I could try to give you the kind of advice we give to people when we want them to just not care what they look like but I think for you the first thing to think about is whether or not it's possible that you're just focussing too much on a feature that other people aren't even close to disliking as much as you. There are probably even people you know that think red hair is the most beautiful hair. At the very least I can assure you that there isn't an abundance of people who can't get a date because of being ginger, people just aren't that shallow even if bullies make you feel like they are

[Guest_8734]

Hi NalaDawn,

People who make fun of others are simply miserable inside FACT. A confident, happy person would never bring someone down. There is also nothing wrong with red hair at ALL. Sansa Stark is killing it on Game of Thrones :P. Embrace your qualities because you are unique and have something to offer to the world. Don't let useless comments bring you down. If you continue to move forward, grow and accept yourself, you will not only become stronger, but the right people will come along.

[stormcloudz]

Hi NalaDawn

It sounds like you were bullied at your last school, which is a horrible experience and can really damage your confidence.

The problem is not with you, it's with the bullies. Red hair is not ugly at all. They just picked on something that was a bit different about you as it was the only thing they could think of. Bullies just want to hurt people, what they say is not real.

You can recover from this and feel better about yourself. It would be good to have someone to help you, who understands what bullying is like, and can support you gently. There is an organization called Headspace that can help, they work with people aged 12 to 25, and you can go see someone or talk over their website www.headspace.org.au

Please post again and let us know how you are going (hugs).

[Ggrand]

Hello NalaDawn,

Welcome to Beyond Blue Forums,

I'm sorry you had to go through being told that..

People can be so mean at times, but mean people are usually unhappy people with no real close friends, so they act tough and mean for attention, the more they upset you the more power your giving to them....

Red hair, is unique, it's beautiful, a lot of women are dyeing their hair red, I think you are very lucky to have red hair and I bet you are beautiful as well, if you were not beautiful or pretty, those mean girls wouldn't say anything to you...

You said you changed schools and the students are more accepting, this is proof to you that the other girls at the other school were nothing but bullies..Please sweetheart, try to remember that most name calling is done by bullies, they single out the soft gentle people with beautiful souls and that was you...

Next time you look in the mirror , try to see the beautiful girl you are...inside and out...don't let the bullies win..

Have you made any close friends at this new school? or can you speak to your school health officer and just tell her/him how your feeling about yourself, and also about the bullying at the other school..

Please Take good care of you, and please come here anytime you need to talk, were all here for you and I'm certain more wonderful people will call in and have a chat to you...

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..xx

[JustM3]

Hey NalaDawn,

I'm in high school too, i too have been called ugly (amongst other things). The solution to my problem was to move on and get a new group of friends. I get this is difficult, believe me i understand, but i have found a very supportive group of people to sit with at lunch and we are all very different. People will always say things behind your back, thats ok it happens to everyone. These people who are bullying you obviously feel insecure about themselves and feel the need to put you down. Three of my friends have red hair, that doesn't change the way i look at them one of my friends even died her hair 3 different shades of blue and no one said anything. If your friends are saying stuff about you move on, having people like that around will not do you any good. Changing friends can be hard so maybe try and do group projects and sit with different people in class to help you transition friend groups.

BTW you are NOT ugly, red hair is beautiful i would rather have red hair than my dull brown, i'm sure when you find the right people you will become confident in yourself! Good luck!