i feel stuck

[aggy2801]

Hi everyone,

Lately i've been in the worst mindset and have been feeling the worst i have in my short life. I'm only 14 years old and i have been dealing with serious emotions and thoughts. School is something that i used to love but now dread, i also used to love hanging out with my friends, but have stopped talking with them and looking back they weren't really good friends to me. I should be happy, as i still have a few good friends, and a functional and caring family but i'm barely happy. I feel lonely as i spend free time watching tv or reading, or sometimes i just sit on my bed and think. I have overwhelming attacks of sadness and i don't know what to do. I feel stuck. I don't think i'm close enough to talk to any of my friends and i feel that if i tell my family i'd be letting them down. Signing up to this was really hard for me but, i feel better just being able to rant. i feel like there is something wrong with me and i hate myself for who i am. I don't know what to do. I'm hoping that someone here will have some advice for me.

[blondguy]

Hello aggy2801

Thankyou for having the courage to post what is on your mind....You are strong

Im sorry that you have these overwhelming periods of sadness and feel stuck in your life too. You wont be letting anyone down by having a talk...(many people you know may also have difficulty doing this too...seriously!)

Just one question if thats okay aggy2801....Why do you dread school now?....Is it because of high expectations with results at school or your friends?

Excuse I for the dumb question....just trying to help out if thats okay 🙂

You are amazing for having the courage to post whats on your mind Aggy....Good1

You are not alone at all

Paul

[aggy2801]

Hey Paul,

Thankyou so much for replying, and making me feel abit better about my situation. I'm currently building up the courage to talk with my someone in my family, after sitting and thinking for awhile. The reason that i dread school now is because of friendship issues, i don't feel pressure academically. Once again thankyou for replying and knowing that someone is listening makes me feel alot better.

Aggy

[blondguy]

Hi Aggy

Thankyou for taking the time to post back!

Friendship issues are hard work especially when being a teenager...I didnt think you had any academic issues as you are a very well articulated and intelligent person

The forums are a very safe and caring place for you to post Aggy.....Can I ask if you can elaborate about the situation with your friends so we can help provide better support?......(only if you wish of course)

Having a network of friends is always a bonus especially at 14. Even one or two friends can be hard to come by with the peer group issues that happen in secondary school

I hope you can stick around the forums with your input as we have many young people that dont have the courage to post yet can also benefit from what you have to say 🙂

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forums Aggy

my kind thoughts

Paul

[aggy2801]

Hi again Paul,

I'm happy to talk about what's happening with my friendships as I know that talking about it will probably make me feel abit better about it. I used to be part of a big group of friends but I never felt like i was really a part of the group. They haven't been the best of friends to me and when I was hanging out with them I felt like an outsider. I felt like they were constantly judging me so I decided to leave the group. For a few weeks I've been trying to join other groups but I'm finding it hard and none of the groups really seem like they want me to join them. I've come to spending most of my lunchtimes alone in the library and I've noticed that my old friendship group is judging me. I do have two good friends but one is moving next year and the other took the term off school to deal with some personal issues. I'm not sure what to do about my school friendships and I'm not sure what I'm going to do next year.

Thankyou for your reply,

Aggy

[startingnew]

Hello and welcome Aggy


I just wanted to join in with my support alongsie our wonderful Paul.


School can be quite hard esp where friendships are concerned. I too had the same troubles as you are having currently with having judgement friends that I felt like an outsider with along with not being able to recconect/join in with another group.


Can I ask if your school runs different activites or groups such as after school sport, study groups in the library, a science club or something else that you might be interested in joining and having a go at? Sometimes trying something new and sticking out that awkward I dont know anyone stage can lead to friendships as well once you start to relax and interact with those other students?


It might not be helpful for inside of school but maybe forming friendships outside of school will help more with that lonliness as well? That way even though the hrs your in school may be a little rough but after school, weekends and during the school holidays you can arrange to hang out and go to the movies etc?


Pauls suggestion to talk to someone would be a good idea as well so they can support you as well as provide some extra advice.
Please do keep talking here. We also have the friendship cafe for under 25s where you can meet and interact with some younger members as well.

[Quercus]

Hi Aggy2801,

Given that it is almost the end of the school year I wanted to see if you've been able to try any of the solid ideas Paul and StartingNew have suggested. How are you holding up?

School can be an isolating place and it is sad to hear the situation is making you feel uncomfortable about next year too.

I was wondering what has happened to make you believe your old friends are judging you? Has anyone said anything to you or is it the usual underhanded social media bitchiness?

What do you think of SNs idea of seeking out extracurricular activities? Holidays are a difficult time especially coming into a break knowing your conflicts aren't yet resolved and being isolated. Keeping busy can help if you find yourself returning to unhelpful thoughts.

For me it also helps to remind myself that my anxiety can make me believe everyone is thinking the worst of me. Angry at me. Or complaining about me. But the reality is people are usually thinking about themselves. I am catastophising needlessly. What helps is keeping busy doing things I enjoy.

It feels easier now to say it but my goodness in school I was the same. It is so bloody painful to feel like you don't belong or are no ones first choice. Curiously speaking to school mates once we left school so many felt exactly the same. It is a truly difficult time of life.

That said... You're studies seem to be going ok (good for you). Perhaps rather than trying to fit in with others you can spend the holidays finding out what YOU enjoy and what feels good for you?

I hope this week has been easier.

Nat

[aggy2801]

Hi startingnew,

Thankyou for the advice it was very helpful. When I get back to school I will see if there is any activities or groups I could join. I have a few friends out of school but I dont get to see them alot so this holidays I've meet with them. once again thankyou for the advice and for your reply.

Aggy

[aggy2801]

Hi Nat,

Thankyou for the reply, it's nice to hear that other people have understood what i've been through. At first I thought things were getting better and I took the advice from this forum but with new years coming, I've been feeling alot lonelier and sadder than before. This is mainly because I will be most likely be spending new years alone. The reason I think my old friends are judging me is mainly because in the last couple of weeks they would walk away from me, and avoid me. Also when one of my friends found out I had been on my computer in the library she said to my face that it was "pathetic", this person I don't really think as my friend anymore.

I think the idea of finding activities and groups to join is good and will look at what's available when I get back to school.

Thankyou for the advice ad its always helpful hearing from someone on the forums

Aggy