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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Meerkat-man Paranoid. Help!
  • replies: 2

I have been feeling really paranoid lately, like someone is watching me all the time and someone is going to hurt me even though I know that no one is watching me. I don’t know what to do and I’m way to shy to tell anybody about it. Please help me.

I have been feeling really paranoid lately, like someone is watching me all the time and someone is going to hurt me even though I know that no one is watching me. I don’t know what to do and I’m way to shy to tell anybody about it. Please help me.

JulieCh New here. Survived depression and happy to share my experiences.
  • replies: 2

Hi I'm a loving mum to 4 great teens/young adults. I have struggled a lot in recent two years and learnt some great tools to manage this issue. Happy to help where I can J

Hi I'm a loving mum to 4 great teens/young adults. I have struggled a lot in recent two years and learnt some great tools to manage this issue. Happy to help where I can J

cfalz Why can’t I take responsibility for my actions? Need help
  • replies: 10

Hi. i’m making this post because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know why, but I can’t take responsibility for my actions. I’m just really frustrated with myself. My family is so mad at me because I just can’t apologise when I do things wrong. ... View more

Hi. i’m making this post because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know why, but I can’t take responsibility for my actions. I’m just really frustrated with myself. My family is so mad at me because I just can’t apologise when I do things wrong. I hate it because it ruins everything and I wish I could just flip a switch and change it but I just can’t and it makes me so angry. I’m just sick of being so toxic. I’m ruining everything because of it. My mum’s always angry and that makes my dad angry and then my sister gets angry and it’s all because I can’t take responsibility for my faults. And it’s not that I think I have no faults. I KNOW I have faults. I dwell on the fact that I have faults. Like, I’m not not apologising because I think I’m always right. I never think I’m right. I know I’m wrong but I just can’t apologise. It’s just that I’m always so snappy and that makes my family mad and then I just never apologise and it just makes such a toxic environment. I’m constantly on edge and even the littlest things can set me off and make me so angry and I just snap and then I don’t apologise and even as I type it I know it makes me sound terrible and I really feel it. It just always feels like there’s this pressure in my chest and I’m going to explode if I don’t let it out and that’s when I snap at people and I don’t mean to and I don’t want to but it just happens and I know I should apologise. Like, I know when I should apologise because I recognise the difference between right and wrong and all that but I just can’t apologise even though I know I’m wrong. My family thinks I don’t apologise because I think I’m perfect and I’m always right, but that’s so wrong. I know I’m not perfect, like I really know. I think about my faults and imperfections all the time. I don’t know why I don’t apologise and I don’t why I’m always so irritable. It’s so frustrating. I just want this to stop. I want to stop feeling like this and putting my family through hell. Please can anybody help? Sorry for the long post.

Rose01 Why?
  • replies: 3

Okay so this is my first time doing this but I really need help Why do I feel like such a disappointment to my family? Just now my mum yelled at me because we were supposed to go to this memorial thing for a person we know but I freaked out because I... View more

Okay so this is my first time doing this but I really need help Why do I feel like such a disappointment to my family? Just now my mum yelled at me because we were supposed to go to this memorial thing for a person we know but I freaked out because I’m not good with memorials, funerals, death and all that and it doesn’t help that when I last saw that person I said see ya! Who the heck says see ya to a dying person anyway my mum yelled at me because she thought it was about the fact that I was having trouble with my makeup because I needed my sisters help because I have a bit of acne and I didn’t know how to put the makeup on anyway she yelled at me and then said that she’s going and when people ask where I am she will say I’m “sick” instead of telling me that I didn’t come because I couldn’t put on makeup anyway I started crying anyway I have no idea where this is going but I feel like a big disappointment because it’s not just that it’s the fact that I’m 17 I’ve finished school I don’t have a job I’m at home all the time I don’t have a social life I have one friend andddd also people keep saying I’m beautiful but only after I lost a ton of weight??? And I just don’t know because my sister is perfect because she has a job she has a social life and she has heaps of friends and what do I have ?? Nothing and with the makeup thing she told me that I should know how to put on makeup because I’m almost an adult not a child and I just feel like everything is my fault

Birdy3 Witchcraft, Neopaganism, and daily practice
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, my name is Aidan and I’m a Witch. I’ve been practicing witchcraft for 7 years, and during that time I’ve held on to the spark of curiosity and creativity. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 16, and Generalised Anxiety Disorde... View more

Hey everyone, my name is Aidan and I’m a Witch. I’ve been practicing witchcraft for 7 years, and during that time I’ve held on to the spark of curiosity and creativity. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 16, and Generalised Anxiety Disorder at 19. My spirituality has helped quite a bit in motivation to get better. Like most who suffer from mental illnesses, I go through a roller coaster of good and bad times within. My anxiety causes daily panic attacks randomly which brings about a range of symptoms including nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, lack of sleep, difficulty breathing and more depending on how long it takes for me to break the cycle. Back on the subject, The Craft isn’t anything evil, nor is it what Hollywood reveals. My personal practice involves meditation, a lot of nature, magical and medical herbalism, and more spiritual practices like daily devotions, spells, rituals, communication with nature spirits and ancestors, and learning from the land. Seems chill right? Well to me it’s kept me going over the years, and it has motivated me to work towards goals. I was a singer in my teen years, and I will get back into creating music and performing but for now I’m accepting the world around and allowing myself time to gain a better headspace. I’ll give a single exercise: Spent 5 minutes in nature, whether in your backyard or in a park under trees, or anywhere nature thrives. Breathe and be present. Notice the local wildlife and plant life in your area, and with regular practice you begin to see changes around the place. Maybe you want to find out more about the animals or plants you saw, and maybe your curiosity will lead you towards studying plants and animals or even just witnessing more of life. Are there any other Witches, wiccans and Neopaganism practitioner’s here that would like to share their story?

rosentity i don't know what's wrong with me
  • replies: 4

i'm currently in high school, so of course there is going to be days when i'm feeling down, but there's been an ongoing feeling of dread for nearly 3 years now. i've been to school counselors - but all i do with them is write in a journal and talk ab... View more

i'm currently in high school, so of course there is going to be days when i'm feeling down, but there's been an ongoing feeling of dread for nearly 3 years now. i've been to school counselors - but all i do with them is write in a journal and talk about how i've been feeling. i always hold myself back from telling the truth. not to be a stereotype, but when asked how i am, i always reply with 'good'. i know i should tell them about the mental pain i'm in but i just can't seem to get it out. i've told a few select friends about how i feel and they have all been supportive, but again i have never told them the full extent. i don't know how to describe how i am feeling. i'm dreading each day more and more but then there's moments where i think not a single thing is wrong with me. i can't remember the last time i was genuinely happy. i've had a lot of shitty things happen to me, and have done some shitty things myself. i have a big issue with food at the moment. this has been going on for 2 years now. the more i eat the more i hate myself. it's stupid. why am i so disgusted with myself for doing the thing that helps me live. part of myself believes it's because i don't care if i live or die anymore. i don't feel like i'm living. i feel as if i'm watching myself from higher above, or as if i'm simply acting in a t.v show or movie. my emotions and actions only feel real at the moment they are happening, and as soon as they are over i feel as if nothing ever happened. i am definitely way to sensitive and i cry over the smallest of things. people tell me i take things too personally, and i know i do, but when i get told that it always make me feel worse. i just want to stop feeling like i don't matter and start feeling like a real person. i want to experience happy emotions and not this ongoing dread and sadness, that people don't take seriously enough. counselors and family don't want to admit it's depression but i genuinely think it is. the main thing that makes me feel worse is that i can't tell people how i actually feel. i'll cry in front of them and tell them that i've been feeling terrible lately, but that will be it. i won't tell them that it's been happening for 3 years and that it just gets worse sometimes. i always feel like i'm not me and this is not my life. i'm only fourteen and i want to stop feeling as terrible and disgusting as i do. i don't want to be an 'attention seeking' stereotype for the rest of my life. i'm so young and i hate this.

alsatianwolf Anxiety affecting my first job :(
  • replies: 4

Hi all, This is my first post but I really wanted to ask for some help. I just turned 17 and everyone had been telling me to get a job. I really needed money, but I have social anxiety and I didn't want to have to interact with new people and the pub... View more

Hi all, This is my first post but I really wanted to ask for some help. I just turned 17 and everyone had been telling me to get a job. I really needed money, but I have social anxiety and I didn't want to have to interact with new people and the public. Fast forward to last Friday, and I applied and had an interview for a gelato place in the city. I put up my fake confident personality and the interview went well, and after 3 days my boss phoned me to say that I got the job. Yesterday I had my first shift, and I tried to absorb as much as I could. I smiled and made sure to be polite and friendly at all times. Everything went really well... except the ice cream part! There's a specific way to scoop the gelato, then a specific way to put it in the cup, but I just couldn't do it. I spent the second half of my four hour shift standing at the back of the counter, unable to serve anyone. I felt completely useless and guilty while my co-workers handled hundreds of customers while I could only stand at the back and use the till. I was thankfully able to make the milkshakes but that was it. Customers would gesture for me to serve them but I had to just shake my head, and it probably looked super rude. I know I'm putting way too much pressure on myself to be perfect on my first day at my first job, but I can't help it. All the employees are really nice and assure me that they had difficult experiences too, but I still feel awful. Tonight I have my second 4 hour shift, but it's a closing one (6pm -10pm) and apparently that's the busiest time. And all of the people I worked with yesterday won't be there, so it's all new people. All day I've had anxiety over it. How can I deal with such a busy shift if I can't even serve anyone? I feel sick and I have a migraine just from worrying. Also, my close friend also got her first job there yesterday, but she's great at scooping the gelato and talks about how many people she's served and it makes me feel more useless. I'm just dreading going to work tonight... though, I remind myself that driving a car was really scary at first, but now I can drive with my knees doing 80km/h while I eat maccas...

Inkyinsect Self hate getting baaaaad man
  • replies: 2

Hey, this is my first thread but like, I wanted to reach out. I'm 19, female and my self hate is ruining my life. It nearly ended my relationship because I said yes to something I'm not comfortable about because of fear of losing him. That issue is s... View more

Hey, this is my first thread but like, I wanted to reach out. I'm 19, female and my self hate is ruining my life. It nearly ended my relationship because I said yes to something I'm not comfortable about because of fear of losing him. That issue is sorted but this has to stop. I spend all my money on gifts for friends in the hopes of making them like me more. I don't believe i have any worth despite all the reassurance in the world. I really want to be able to see myself as good enough to deserve the people in my life. idk, feelsbadman

IndigoMultiversity I'm really struggling right now.
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I'll stress that I'm not feeling really bad. I'm really just not coping as well as I'd like with everything right now. I have a counsellor and that is going alright, we have a focus direction. I've just been fe... View more

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I'll stress that I'm not feeling really bad. I'm really just not coping as well as I'd like with everything right now. I have a counsellor and that is going alright, we have a focus direction. I've just been feeling like I'm overwhelmed, I guess. I've been studying for most of my life and I still have a little bit to go but due to my life circumstances, I have to go find a part time job shortly. I've not had one before and I feel so scared about it. Especially as I feel that I'll fail. I feel that I lack good friends. You know how most people have those friends who'll talk to them all time and you can confide in each other? I don't have that at all. I kinda crave that connection with people. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship. I feel pressured in areas that I feel really anxious in to fix it immediately. I'm scared that I'll need to be reliant on medication but I'm scared to try it and I'm scared to admit that I may need it. I feel just sad and sorry for myself a lot. I feel like I wreck a lot of stuff and it's not always replacable. I feel like I suck. I feel like I'm not worth it. Then I just feel so ashamed of myself. I feel tired. So tired. I feel so scared of rejection. I feel so scared that I'll fail. I do tell my counsellor this and they encourage me and assure me that I'm a normal and competent person and that there is nothing wrong with me. It's just so hard to believe that too. I'm just having a bad night really and I need to get my feelings out. Thanks for reading I guess.

Dani2696 Screaming on the inside
  • replies: 2

Hi, this js my first post I just really want to vent. Everyone thinks I’m happy and in love but inside I am so angry, hurt and resentful all the time! I have been with my bf for almost 3 years now and there was a time where he go so drunk and sent me... View more

Hi, this js my first post I just really want to vent. Everyone thinks I’m happy and in love but inside I am so angry, hurt and resentful all the time! I have been with my bf for almost 3 years now and there was a time where he go so drunk and sent messages to another woman. He told me those messages were for me and I forgave him and stayed with him even though I don’t fully believe him. Since then I have major trust issues with both cheating and alcohol. He doesn’t seem to see the issue he has with alcohol but he can’t control his drinking and I am pertrified that he will hurt me again. I Feel he is still cheating on me because I have found messages and phone calls. I know I should leave him but I stay because I am still so in love with him and he is great at acting like we are a great strong couple so in love. At times I just want to shout for everyone to hear me. Obviously I can’t do that so I speak to myself almost all the time. I scream and tell myself things that I know I shouldn’t say to myself but the pain inside of me is too strong and overpowers the logical part of me. I sometimes think about floating away and have created an image of myself in my head which I take out my frustrations on by imagining it. I feel so alone and I want to shake him for hurting me this way. I was so happy before he came into my life. Now I am just full of anger and resentment especially because he lives his life showing everyone how great he is and how happy he is. We have a big age gap and I don’t know if it has anything to do with the resentment I feel. Sometimes I think it does because I am angry that he could experience so many things in life that I won’t ever get to do. I cry a lot and get headaches. I wish I could just forget about things but I see and remember things so clearly. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

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