I Feel Nothing

[Unnamed7]

For quite a while in the past, I have felt angry and miserable most of the time. Now I feel nothing. I never talk to anyone about my issues and every time I do they use it against me. I feel like no one knows the real me. I'm always pretending I'm happy, I crack jokes and laugh but never really am 'happy'. Sometimes I just don't feel anything. I used to get angry when people were telling me things like 'you're worthless, don't waste my time, why do I even try with you, you're a disgrace" etc but now I just sit there and take it, and I honestly couldn't care less. I feel like I have nobody to talk to, no girl that would ever like me. I'm too scared to actually open up. Since I was a child, I was a very emotional person. My dad always used to shut me down and talk over me, and tell me things like 'You're a disgrace, you seriously need help. You really should see a doctor because I think you're retarded". and shit like that If I was to mess up. Maybe that is the reason I can never open up now, because I could never really be myself around my family, let alone other people. Someone please tell me how I can feel again.

[Zeal]

Hello,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel so miserable, and that others have been mistreating you. Being insulted by your father like that is rough. If you don't mind me asking, does he still do this sometimes? Having to endure that during your childhood is unfair, and you did not deserve this in any way. Seeing a doctor (GP) for a referral to a counsellor or similar professional is important. If you're still at school, seeing your school counsellor is also an option. However, going to a GP is still essential, at least for one appointment. I recommend jotting down concerns/topics on a notepad, and taking this to the appointment. That way, you won't forgot something important.

In addition to seeking in-person professional support, you might like to refer to these resources at some point:

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=47

http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=37

I hope you can get the help you deserve. It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal