i donr know what to do - stressed and upset

[woodlock]

so with exams coming up and everything, im beginning to become more stressed and anxious about school and studying. 

i feel like my mum plays a big part in this as she continuously pushes me too hard when studying and it mad at me when i get a low or bad grade. she expects me to be a high achiever like my brother. and there was some point at my lie that i could try but now i feel like my brain gets to emotional to even do anything, i wont be trying or listening in class and even when i try to the words just go over my head. 

i dread going to school and exams. ill cry when i think of it. 

ive been to the school counselor but they didnt help me at all- completely irrelevant.

i dont know what to do or how to solve any of this, please help.

[Zeal]

Hi Woodlook,

Welcome to the forum!

It sounds as though explaining how you feel to your Mum could be very helpful in this situation. It's likely that she isn't aware of the negative effects her pressure has on you. When having this conversation, make sure you are both fairly relaxed and not busy. Ensure you don't place blame directly on your Mum, as this could make her upset or angry, and is less likely to be a constructive conversation.

You could start by saying something like "Mum, I'm feeling a lot of pressure lately with schoolwork, and it's making me really overwhelmed and upset. I do try my best, but lately I am so stressed that I can't concentrate. Sometimes I feel as though I'm expected to live up to my brother, which is really hard. I don't want to compete with him. I just want to do the best I can." After this conversation, hopefully your Mum will understand that the pressure you're feeling is unhelpful to your performance and is making you unhappy. I do realise this isn't going to instantly solve the problem. You may need to have several conversations with your Mum. If you and your brother are close, maybe you can talk to him as well.

Good luck with the conversation. If you still feel as though you need more help, you could talk to a trusted teacher, or your GP. If it is needed, your GP can refer you to a counsellor or psychologist.

Best wishes,

SM

[woodlock]

thank you so much. 

[Narniakid]

Hey woodlock! Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm one year out of school, and as a twin of a very high achieving sister, I know where you're coming from; being compared to a sibling is never nice. 

Definately take on board what SM has said about perhaps speaking to your brother about this, or directly to your mum and let her know how you're feeling. It's great that she really cares about your schoolwork and your grades, as so many parents these days don't, however she needs to remember that your mental wellbeing comes before all of that, and also that you and your brother are two completely different individuals with different skills and what-not. 

Let us know how it goes!

Crystal