Hi,
Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.
I am so sorry for what you have been through, no child should ever have to go through abuse at the hand of a parent. I think what you are experiencing is a normal reaction to coming into contact again with an abuser.
It sounds like your nervous system is on high alert and sending you into the fight, flight or freeze state. When that happens our brain does not operate as normal, this is not anything to be afraid of but you will need some help to start feeling safe again.
Are you getting any help currently from a counsellor? If not, I highly suggest reaching out to the Kid's Helpline when you are feeling unsafe. They are professionals who deal with mental health and abuse related issues on a daily basis so you will be in safe hands. They also have a webchat service if you prefer that to talking. There is likely to be a wait when you call or connect to webchat but please don't let that put you off, it is important to reach out when you need to.
Kid's Helpline - available 24/7 - up to age 25 - 1800 55 1800
Webchat can be accessed here (scroll down page to see the button to connect) https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
Please also keep reaching out here whenever you feel the need, we will be here to support you.
Take good care of yourself.
Thinking of you with care,
indigo 💜
