I don't know what's wrong with me

[SkyeValkyrie]

Depression runs on my mother's side of the family, so I should have guessed that at some point I'd start suffering from it. The past 9 months have been rough, sure, but it's the next 9 months that I'm most worried about. I'm just really unsure what to do anymore. I'm fourteen years old, and I have a fairly average lifestyle. I eat healthily (I'm vegetarian, also), I am interested in art, literature and music, and I have been recently trying to reconnect with my friends and not isolate myself like I did several months ago.  I'm currently taking anti-depressants daily, but I'm not seeing a counselor. The last one didn't seem to understand me, she acted like nothing was wrong. My doctor diagnosed me with depression and generalized anxiety, but after conducting some research of my own, I've found that I share a lot of symptoms found in sufferers of Asperger's syndrome. Of course, I'm not doctor, so I can't be sure, but it would honestly make a lot of sense.

If anyone has any advice, I would be most grateful. Because

I just don' t know what to do anymore.

[geoff]

dear SV, thanks for having the courage to post a comment, as it's never easy to begin with, because apprehension gets in your way, but you have and that's good.

It's sad when we are passed down undesirable genes but we don't have a say in it, like I am a twin and inherited all the bad genes, whereas my twin has never had any, which I am so pleased for him, but that's life.

I am very interested in what happened 9 months ago to you, and please only answer if you want to, so please don't feel any pressure, it's just that we may need a bit more information to understand what you have been through, and I'm guessing it must have been a nightmare for you. Geoff.

[Zeal]

Hi Skye,

I'm sorry to hear depression is genetic in your family. That doesn't necessarily mean you will have it long-term though 🙂

It's great that you have interests. Depression can result in feelings of isolation and futility. It's also a good sign that you are aware of how you isolated yourself socially in the past, and are trying to reconnect with others. I isolated myself when I became ill with an eating disorder a few years ago, and I am only now fully reconnected socially! It can take time, but it is so worth it.

With regards to antidepressants, make sure you don't stop taking them before seeing a doctor. I know you haven't indicated that you have any intention of doing this, and you seem intelligent, but I just want to warn you anyway. This is because I forgot to take my antidepressants one morning and decided to just skip it when I remembered later that afternoon. Bad plan! For the next several days I felt anxious and really tired, and this was solely because of the brief interruption in my medication-taking. If and when you and your doctor decide to wean you off your antidepressants, it must be done gradually, so your mood and mental health remain stable.

It's not always easy to find a counsellor or psychologist who you can relate to and feel comfortable with. If you do decide to see a counsellor again, you may need to have appointments with a few before finding the right one. However, it's important to give a new counsellor a chance before you reach a decision. Often the first appointment involves discussing your medical history and getting to know you,  so it isn't always an accurate indication of how the sessions will be run.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was about 9, and attended some Aspergers group programs. I didn't seem as "severe" as the other kids in the programs. Over a year later my Mum heard a radio segment about Aspergers and misdiagnoses. Mum wrote a letter to the autism agency explaining how she felt I didn't fully meet the criteria for a diagnosis. I was reassessed, and it turned out I had been misdiagnosed! As you can see, you may need to get several expert opinions.

Based solely on your description and your interests, I have a gut feeling that you don't have Asperger's. Of course, this is only my subjective opinion, so you will need to see someone about this.

I hope you can rule out Aspergers, and have fun with your friends 🙂

SM