I don't know what is going on. I think I may be crazy.

[lynalli]

Hi,

For some reason I want to be depressed. I know this is stupid and I shouldn't, but I can't help it. My head hurts when I try to comprehend why I could possibly want to be depressed. 

I do not mean to devalue anyone else by saying this, but I just can't help it. I think I've lost my mind. Surely someone wouldn't wish to have depression? Yet I do wish that. It's a crazy thought. I have times when I feel down, and times when I'm extremely happy and normal, however I always seem to have that worm in the back of my head wishing I was depressed - even when I'm feeling down. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not crazy, losing my sanity. Common sense tells me no I shouldn't do such and such, but my heart tells me something else. I'm just so confused and don't know what to do! Is this attention seeking without knowing it? I've asked myself that but I've never been an attention. seeking person and do not wish for attention.

Once again, I do not mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I have but I am genuinely wondering what is going on here. I understand how serious things like this are/can be so please don't perceive this as something it's not.

Thanks,

Lillian 🙂

(Also, I don't know if I put this I. the right category - I'm new. If the spacing is messed up, that's because I copied and pasted from Notes on my phone)

[Doolhof]

Hi Lillian,

Congratulations to you for being able to chat with your Mum about how you are feeling.

It is difficult when we do have inherited issues, but there are lots of different ways we can help ourselves as well. To a certain degree we can reprogram how we think, feel and react to what is going on around us.

I was recently reading a great post here on anger and how to deal with it, so I will try to find it later and get back to you.

Using the web chat here at Beyond Blue is a bit like emailing, only there is someone on the other side of the screen answering you. It is an excellent help. I have used it before.

If at any stage you want to discontinue the "conversation" just write something like "I have to go now" and that will be that.

I'm doing okay at present thanks for asking Lillian. Enjoying a fairly quiet weekend.

I will go and look for that other post you might be interested in.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Lillian, it is me again!

Have a read of the thread/posts under

Help with Anger Management for Women.

There are some good ideas and suggestions here.

We don't always need to be stuck with the inherited issues we receive. We can make a difference in our own lives and tackle these issues!