Young people

Terrified of failure

replies: 6

Hi guys, somebody please tell me that fear of failure is somewhat "normal". Lately i have been so pre-occupied with this overbearing fear of failing. So pretty much my exams are contributing a lot to this stress, but everyday things are begining to m... View more

Hi guys, somebody please tell me that fear of failure is somewhat "normal". Lately i have been so pre-occupied with this overbearing fear of failing. So pretty much my exams are contributing a lot to this stress, but everyday things are begining to make their way into my mind and its making me feel so crappy. I began a course of anti-depressents early this year and honestly thought that the medication and the therapy was helping, long story short, i thought i was better, decided to cancel my therapist appointments and stopped my anti-depressants. Firstly, because i thought i was okay and secondly, because im so scared that i will need to rely on them as i get older. Obviously 2 very big mistakes considering ive been suffering with depression,self-harm and bulimia since i was 15 (3 years). Everything has come crashing back down on me, i feel terrible, sad, anxious and ive had to start taking them again. Is this normal? I feel like a failure, i cant even manage to stay off my medications. Is this every going to end. I just feel like i will never be "okay". beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

I feel like my depression is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend.

replies: 6

My boyfriend was the one who wanted me to get diagnosed with depression so I could get help. My boyfriend was the one who always made me take my medication even though it tastes disgusting. My boyfriend was the one who would look after me when I felt... View more

My boyfriend was the one who wanted me to get diagnosed with depression so I could get help. My boyfriend was the one who always made me take my medication even though it tastes disgusting. My boyfriend was the one who would look after me when I felt like I was too weak to keep going. My boyfriend is my rock and one of my only reasons that I'm still here. Lately, my depression has been getting more persistent, and has been making everyone around me distance themselves because they're worried I'm a ticking time bomb of misery. My depression has always been particularly harsh on my boyfriend, it's alway telling me that he secretly hates me and wants to leave me, but this has been getting worse. When I get in a bad spot, I can't see what I'm doing or hear what I'm saying. My depression has been making me say horrible things to him and treat him poorly, and I'm terrified that my apologies aren't enough to show him that I really don't mean it. What can I do to show him that I love him more than anything else, and I wouldn't be letting my depression do all this if I could control it. I love him so much, and it would be the end of me if he started to distance himself from me too.

Hello?

replies: 4

Hi everyone. My name is Amber, I'm 23 years old, and this is an extremely daunting thing for me to do because I'm terrified of being viewed as a failure by others (even if I see myself that way). Okay, let's start with what I assume to be the root of... View more

Hi everyone. My name is Amber, I'm 23 years old, and this is an extremely daunting thing for me to do because I'm terrified of being viewed as a failure by others (even if I see myself that way). Okay, let's start with what I assume to be the root of the problem. My mother is a single parent, and she encountered major health complications (brain surgery was required more than once) before I had started primary school. I was left in the care of a man who abused me. My mum got better, and that man faded out of the picture. Then my brother's dad came along, and he was violent towards the both of us. I'm irrationally afraid of being around men as a result of both of these things. I never got around to finishing even year ten. That was the year everything kind of culminated and I suppose I hit my lowest point with depression, dropping out of school with less than one semester to go. I beat myself up for this regularly and hate myself for it, because I've tried since then to go to TAFE and just lacked the discipline needed to stick with it.I'm finding it harder and harder to find a way to pick myself back up the older I get, and I'm so terrified I'm going to be stuck in this rut for the rest of my life. I so badly want to do something to fix the train wreck I feel my life is, but I don't know where to begin... and I don't think I'd be able to muster the will to care enough to stick to it even if I could. I was also diagnosed with social phobia/anxiety at sixteen, and I don't really feel that has changed. And so because of my fear of everything from judgment to phone calls and appointments, this is the first step I'm taking in trying. So... hello

4 years in and it feels like it wont get better

replies: 7

I am 21 now I first got depression and anxiety when I was 17. It doesn't feel like it will ever get better. I'm tired - of fighting this, of people, of everyone, who doesn't understand. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me two months ago, he sa... View more

I am 21 now I first got depression and anxiety when I was 17. It doesn't feel like it will ever get better. I'm tired - of fighting this, of people, of everyone, who doesn't understand. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me two months ago, he said he didn't love me anymore. I miss him everyday and I feel like i screwed it up by not reminding him how important he was to me often enough. About 2 weeks ago my friend killed himself. His funeral was 3 days before my exams started. I study chemical engineering and I just can't concentrate. I miss him and I want to talk to him. And I keep thinking that if life hadn't gotten between us then we wouldn't have drifted like we did. I just want my boyfriend to come back. To remember why he loved me in the first place. I feel hollow and empty and I still have uni exams next week but I can't think straight. NO one understands. I feel so alone. I'm running out of energy. I don't feel like I can get through this. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

My anxiety is pulling me down

replies: 3

Hi,Since I was in high school I always had a dream to become a Dr but my grades left me at a disadvantage. After high school I left everything behind and moved away from friends and family to study an undergrad in science. During this time I worked e... View more

Hi,Since I was in high school I always had a dream to become a Dr but my grades left me at a disadvantage. After high school I left everything behind and moved away from friends and family to study an undergrad in science. During this time I worked extremely hard and managed to juggle full-time study, a part-time job, a girlfriend, sport, and extracurricular college commitments. Throughout my undergrad I slowly felt a wave of discomfort creeping over me that would leave me feeling physically ill at times. I came to a realization that I would only feel ill in certain situation so I begun to avoid these situations which only made things worse. Due to my poor grades in high school I set myself academic benchmarks which I kept increasing to the stage where I performed extremely well academically (GPA > distinction average). Although I turned my grades around and worked really hard I never gave myself any credit and tended to focus only on the stresses and negatives that come with being a student. I stopped caring about my grades, for example. I would get 90% and instead of being happy I would berate myself and focus on how I could have done better. Anyways, My current situation is that I'am 22 yrs old and I am a medical student, I have made it. I'am in my first year of medicine and instead of being extremely positive with what I have accomplished I am the complete opposite. My daily routine is such that I am filled with anxiety over medical school. I feel physically ill when I have to give presentations (no one knows this because I take Beta-blockers to calm my farm). Most of the time I avoid eating before class so that there is nothing to throw up if I feel sick, I avoid dinners (these make me anxious), and I get extremely anxious when interacting with patients. I have sought out help on numerous occasions. I joined Panic Away to control my panic attacks, I underwent counselling sessions, and I am currently working through a program called Thrive for my emetophobia (vomit associated fear). I am extremely determined and so I feel that this anxiety I have created for myself is the only thing in the way of me achieving my dream of becoming a Dr. Anyways I know I have gone on a bit but I just feel that I need to get the off my chest, Its getting to the stage where I don't know how much longer I can hold on. If anyone has any words of wisdom for me and how I can challenge my anxiety it would be greatly appreciated. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Soul loss

replies: 3

Hey all, I'm new here & a first time poster. I don't really know how to start, so I'm just gunna write it down the best I can.I'm a " normal " mid 20's bloke from Melbourne - born & bred here, I love beers, cars, tattoos, getting loose with my mates ... View more

Hey all, I'm new here & a first time poster. I don't really know how to start, so I'm just gunna write it down the best I can.I'm a " normal " mid 20's bloke from Melbourne - born & bred here, I love beers, cars, tattoos, getting loose with my mates and just enjoying life... About 5 months ago now, I woke up one morning & felt like a completely different person ? I had totally lost my sense of humour, i became mono-toned, I didn't care about anything that i love - I'm just emotionless & empty. I've had times were stared at myself in the mirror and barely recognised the person staring back. I've become a complete stranger to myself. My reality's become warped & sometimes feels un-real. I start over thinking about every little situation, even hanging out with my mates has become stressful and awkward & day to day life just now become that much harder. I spend close to every second of my day being stuck in my head !! Worrying, overthinking & analysing every aspect of my life.. The thing is - I don't really have much to be stressing out over in the first place, I just can't help it now... It feels like now I'm living on a constant auto-pilot that I can't turn off.I've had little problems with drugs over the last few years, mostly prescription & was an everyday weed smoker but I've been pretty much sober off drugs for about 6-7 months now & my head still hasn't gotten back to it's good Ol' self.I've avoided reaching out for help for aslong as I possibly could but i realised now I need it more than ever.. I've brought it up here & there with family & mates but it's always hard to find common ground, everyone says they " understand " but it feels like they don't. I've done little bits of research about depression & depersonalization disorder and have had a read over various things on the internet.. I guess I'm just posting here as a call for help. I'm at the point now were I'm scared of getting further & further away from the happy person I used to be. If anybody's got any advice or stories or anything like that - I'd love to hear them & thanks in advance, the help goes a long way ! John.

Opening up

replies: 6

How did you tell your friends and family that you have and are living with mental illnesses? What was their reaction ?

Support for something newish!

replies: 1

Hey guys I have been dealing with depression on and off for around 4 or so years, but I have lately been able to experience happiness through different activities which I am engaging in, such as footy, stand up, work and other events. Most of my depr... View more

Hey guys I have been dealing with depression on and off for around 4 or so years, but I have lately been able to experience happiness through different activities which I am engaging in, such as footy, stand up, work and other events. Most of my depression if not all of it is linked with a group of high school mates whom I am no longer friends with, and have blown all my tides with, I am doing my very best with moving on and letting go. Some people just seem to not be changing though etc. In about the last year or so though I have been experiencing severe anxiety, I had a full blown panic attack last year and a few more after, but only really one full blown one. The worst part of my anxiety though is the brain fog it gives me (depersonalisation/derealisation) I am fairly sure these are what they are called, I was concerned that smoking marijuana heavily once last year triggered the panic attack, and my anxiety, but I had a heap of other stuff going on and was drinking quite heavily that stage as well. I guess my question to the group is, how do I go about ridding myself of the anxious fog that lures over me daily and causes me to feel detached and "not all there"/"not with it", it can be very scary but I know this is only anxiety as my psych has explained etc. Hopefully this has made things clear for you guys, I just wanted to say though that I am definitely doing well in aspects of my life with playing footy, working, and completing my Uni degree, the anxiety is not controlling my life.

i tried talking to people about my anxiety but they just think i'm over-reacting.

replies: 4

Hi, i'm just an average girl studying at uni. now that exams are over, my friend and i agreed to go on a holiday. so i booked a flight to go overseas for a holiday with my friend and as soon as i saw the email confirming this non-refundable ticket i ... View more

Hi, i'm just an average girl studying at uni. now that exams are over, my friend and i agreed to go on a holiday. so i booked a flight to go overseas for a holiday with my friend and as soon as i saw the email confirming this non-refundable ticket i felt really anxious all of a sudden. i couldn't sleep, i kept shaking, my heart was beating really fast like i had gone on a run and i just can't stop crying. i'm really used to routine living in the same place, meeting the same people. i tried to overcome my anxiety in the past by starting my exam study early, exercising regularly and trying to distract myself... I know that i should be really excited about a holiday but i am scared. I know its a safe, english speaking country... i tried talking to my parents and my friend but they don't think i'm serious and just its just travel nerves. i feel constantly really agitated and on the verge of tears... what should i do?

Intrusive thoughts

replies: 5

Hey Guys,I'm a 21 year old male who suffers from OCD. I've had this problem since I was a young bloke and still carry this problem with me today. It all started when I was playing for my local footy club, a teammate of mine was diagnosed with leukaem... View more

Hey Guys,I'm a 21 year old male who suffers from OCD. I've had this problem since I was a young bloke and still carry this problem with me today. It all started when I was playing for my local footy club, a teammate of mine was diagnosed with leukaemia. One afternoon after school and I was having a hit of cricket with my next door neighbours and hurt my back and after hearing my teammate was diagnosed with cancer I immediately thought I had it too. I was a very healthy kid and it didn't matter what you told me 'I had cancer!'. Mum took me to the doctors and got me tested to show me that I didn't have it and even the doctor couldn't convince me that I didn't have it. Over time I grew out of it. Another time where I was controlled by my thoughts was when I thought I was gay and every now the thought still becomes obsessive to the point where I believe it. My most recent struggles however and what makes me worried sick out of the three is the thought about me being some sort of criminal. I have no attentions about being any of those things and the thoughts are so obsessive to the point where I believe I'm going to turn out like this person. I bloody love my family/friends and I want to live a happy life but having these thoughts sky rockets my anxiety and depression because I know that's not what I want to turn out to be nor have these sick thoughts ruin my life. Any help would be much appreciated!

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

Terrified of failure

replies: 6

I feel like my depression is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend.

replies: 6

Hello?

replies: 4

4 years in and it feels like it wont get better

replies: 7

My anxiety is pulling me down

replies: 3

Soul loss

replies: 3

Opening up

replies: 6

Support for something newish!

replies: 1

i tried talking to people about my anxiety but they just think i'm over-reacting.

replies: 4

Intrusive thoughts

replies: 5

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Terrified of failure replies: 6

I feel like my depression is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. replies: 6

Hello? replies: 4

4 years in and it feels like it wont get better replies: 7

My anxiety is pulling me down replies: 3

Soul loss replies: 3

Opening up replies: 6

Support for something newish! replies: 1

i tried talking to people about my anxiety but they just think i'm over-reacting. replies: 4

Intrusive thoughts replies: 5

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Terrified of failure

replies: 6

I feel like my depression is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend.

replies: 6

Hello?

replies: 4

4 years in and it feels like it wont get better

replies: 7

My anxiety is pulling me down

replies: 3

Soul loss

replies: 3

Opening up

replies: 6

Support for something newish!

replies: 1

i tried talking to people about my anxiety but they just think i'm over-reacting.

replies: 4

Intrusive thoughts

replies: 5