I cant stand feeling like this for much longer

[MaeM]

All I can think about when I am angry or sad is hurting myself or just putting an end to the misery. Why not?  Have to live with it anyway.. I cant stand feeling like this for much longer and I am calling BS on the stupid medication I have to take everyday, the GP who is always grumpy to see me, the expensive psychiatrist appointments and the stupid councillor sessions which don't do crap! When I finally found someone I connected with they were impossible to get in to see. And mum just LOVES to complain and throw the guilt trip on me. My parents use to care.. Now they don't seem it. They just complain or stand up for each other. I don't get a say! if im angry my mum is angry. She is stubborn! I cant take this much longer. Im frustrated, angry, annoyed, upset, disappointed, NUMB! Basically everything negative. And ive tried managing it. Not helping. I really do hate myself and my stupid life.

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[White_Rose]

Dear MaeM

I am so sorry that you are feeling so distressed. I feel exactly the same as you. Why bother going through all the pain, getting over it, then having it start all over again. perhaps you can tell me some reasons why I should hang around and I will give you some reasons.

1. Others will be upset if you go, even if you don't believe it.
2. When you get through this bad patch you will have a glorious life. But if you go you will never experience it.
3. It is possible to get past this, especially if you can get some help. Friends? Family?
4. I need you to give me some reasons.

Post again soon.  Hugs!

LING

[AGrace]

Hi MaeM,

There is no easy way out. Your emotions are really heightened at the moment, and are possible clouding your judgement. I know you feel like nothing has worked, nothing has made you feel better, it's all to difficult, but ending your life is not a plan to escape any of these things. Life is too important.

It sounds to me like you haven't found the right person to manage your symptoms. Have you tried seeing one of the GPs on Beyondblue's listing. I think this would be worthwhile, and sooner rather than later. If you feel like your parents aren't supporting you, then don't rely on them. I was only a teenager when I first had to seek help professionally, and I did it all on my own. My parents couldn't care less what was going on with me, they were part of my problem. You can do this too. If therapy and medications haven't been working then tell the Dr this. There are always other options.

Death is not an option. If you feel distressed and you are having suicidal or self harm thoughts please contact Beyondblue, Lifeline, or 000. I am going to forward your post to the trained BB moderators to see if they can give you some more guidance offline. When you feel this low, you need as much support as possible, and if that needs to be an external source, so be it.

Will you let us know how you're travelling, otherwise we'll be really worried about you. Everyone here cares about you, that's why we're all here. We've all been where you are, so we understand.

AGrace