I am an idiot with psychosis.

[Roses_191]

I really hate that im brain dead, today I tried to take my mum to a class and I got in the buss as usual but then I had to go to a stop that I didnt know and when i put the gps to get there i couldnt understand it and we ended up going home and my mum is so mad and said me and dad are brain dead and im so fed up with my life im always in problems alot probably more than everyone else i even have psychosis so this bloody life is just unfair I have to endure all these problems and I really cant be alone, i have no smartness to be independant whats so so ever and no street smartness I am clumsy i trip all the time, and Im too quiet according to everyone, and family say im demonically posssed and i struggle to retain information even in conversations so im stuffed.

[ViolettaZ]

Hi Roses_191,

I’m really sorry you're feeling this way right now.  It’s tough when you’re doing your best but still feeling like you can’t get it right, and that frustration is completely understandable.

When things are overwhelming, like trying to follow GPS, try breaking it down into smaller steps. Maybe you could practice reading the GPS at home before you leave or check out directions online the night before. That way, it’s less pressure when you’re actually out there.

You're dealing with a lot, and it’s okay to be frustrated, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone messes up, and that's just part of being human. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning from those moments. Please give yourself some grace.

If you're feeling unsure about your independence, maybe start by setting a small goal each week, like taking a different bus route or going to a new store by yourself. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll get. It doesn't have to be perfect, just an improvement.

If your family isn’t understanding, that can be really painful, but their words don’t define who you are or what you're capable of. When you're feeling blamed or criticized, it’s easy to get trapped in sadness or anger, and that can impact your ability to retain information. So it may not be that your memory is lacking, but that you need some time to process those negative emotions.

In the future, you could also consider reaching out to a counselor for support. Would you consider trying Beyond Blue's phone and online counseling services? It could be a great option to talk to someone who can help you work through everything and offer support.

You are not alone:)

Warm regards🤗

ViolettaZ

[Roses_191]

Thankyou!

[ViolettaZ]

Hi roses,

Feel free to come back and share more anytime:)

Warm regards,

ViolettaZ

[Roses_191]

Hi guys i am crying right now because i am very upset about my school kicking me out when I jabe psychosis. I have gotten an A in my maths assignment and I am getting the help I need at school but my school says that if they give me a certificate, and if they help me, when i go to a job I wont be able to do the work as the school got me through it and if the boss sees me as a bad employee they're gonna ask where I got qualified from and if I say where I got qualified from, the school is going to have a bad reputation and it will be looked down on. They think I am getting to much help and think that they are the reason for my succsess which is not on. I need assistance as I understand things slowly. Please help! Kind words or advice will be much appreciated!! 😊

[melodica]

That is so unfair and heartbreaking to read. You got an A in your maths assignment which was your  achievement!  The support you received helped you access your potential.

What they’re doing sounds like discrimination to me.  under the Disability Discrimination Act, educational institutions are legally required to provide reasonable adjustments to students with disabilities, including mental health conditions. They cannot penalise you or push you out for needing and receiving that support.

Please ask your parents or an advocate to  reach out on your behalf  to the Australian Human Rights Commission or a disability advocacy service in your state.  they can help you understand your rights and what options you have.  You earned that A. Don’t let anyone take that from you. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[therising]

Hi Roses_191

I'm wondering who taught you skills when it comes to gradually gaining your independence. While a parent could say to us 'You have no skills. You're hopeless' or 'You're brain dead', I would question that parent with something along the lines of 'How much time have you spent seriously teaching me a whole variety of skills that would benefit me?'. There's some skill to just about everything in life. For example, we didn't always know how to go to the toilet on our own. We didn't always know how to write or read. We didn't always know how to do a whole stack of other things we eventually gained some skill in. I didn't always know how to work a GPS until my daughter taught me (I still struggle at times😁). Btw, when I do struggle, my brain kinda shuts down and says 'Nup, I'm not doing this'. My daughter also taught me the skill involved in using a MYKI card. She's given me skills in many other things, just like my son has too. I think it can also depend a lot on the kind of teachers of skills we have in our life. If someone's no good at teaching us, we'll struggle to gain or develop the skill.

Some people in our life fail to realise what we're incredibly skillful in or naturally skillful in. Often this can involve them not seeing the value in our skillful or super natural ability. I can't help but wonder whether you have a truly stunning imagination or you're someone who has the ability to sense other people's feelings. I can't help but wonder what you're a natural at. I also can't help but wonder what leads others to believe you're demonically possessed. I imagine they're all jumping to the wrong conclusion as opposed to wondering about a whole variety of possibilities as to why you're struggling so much with certain things. I've found that wonderful people (full of wonder) are far more helpful than those who just love jumping to the wrong conclusions🙂

[Doors24]

Dear Roses_191,

I can really feel for you after reading your post.

 I have been told by a mental health professional, that when we get stressed and overwhelmed, one of the first things to be impacted is our cognitive functioning in our brains. Memory, concentration and processing of everything gets lowered. It isn’t an abnormal thing to happen to people. 
However, if someone around you keeps saying something to you, after awhile we tend to listen to it and believe it. This isn’t your fault. You aren’t stupid. And if your system gets overwhelmed or overloaded, then all aspects of life can be affected mentally, emotionally and physically. I believe in you and your ability to do a lot more then you can currently see or acknowledge.

And I couldn’t help thinking as I read your post about the bus, why your mum was criticising you for not using the gps properly, when she didn’t use it herself? It isn’t tit for tat, however if she couldn’t use it either, then it isn’t fair to blame you when you were trying to help her. Anyone can research a new place they haven’t been to before they actually leave the house. It doesn’t have to be your sole responsibility.

Hoping you are feeling a bit better.

Doors24

[Roses_191]

Thankyou!

[Roses_191]

At school today, my last name got called out by male teacher that usually helps me with math work, and I told him that my last name is pronounced in a certain way and he said "DONT ARGUE WITH ME!" 😡 He was really mad and I went into shock and then he asked me, "what subjects are you doing" I told him the subjects and then I said, "I wasn't trying to argue with you I was just telling you how to pronounce my last name" He replied with "I know you werent trying to" Then when he left I saw a lady come in and I told her that im going to have to make a complant and was struggling to tell her the situation as I was crying and it impacted my ability to talk. Then this lady took me to this lady that works with teenagers and I told her and I told her once I had calmed down. Then they said that I can talk to the head of the campus and I ended up calling her and we spoke on the phone. Who else can I tell this to, and what do you guys think of this? I will ring the department of education to make a complaint. Thankyou for reading 😊