how do I tell my parents about my depression?

[skyblue18]

hi, I'm new to the BeyondBlue online forum but I thought it would be a great place to get some advice. for the last couple years, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety but it had been "minor" and manageable. within the last 6-12 months my mental health has spiralled down and I know I need help. I have emailed headspace a few times and they suggested/want me to get face to face support which I totally agree with. the only thing in the way between me and getting help is that I don't know how to tell my parents. I know that they will be supportive as I have seen it when they helped my older sister when she was struggling. I don't know why I cant tell them but as I approach them I panic and back out. I've been hoping that my parents will initiate the conversation that's why I have been waiting so long, but they don't know that I am struggling so, therefore, they haven't initiated any conversations. to me, going up and initiating the conversation myself is daunting but I don't know what else to do.

[CJames]

Hi Sky,

That's soo good to hear, best of luck with your headspace appointment.

C.

[Bighelper68]

Hi skyblue18

depression is one of the hardest mental heath issues to deal with but well you wait for some profession advice here are some tips that have made it easier to cope with my "depression". The first and hardest step for me is getting myself moving and active. I find that my mood has a positive change when I go for a nice long walk . The second tip that I would give you is to reach out to friends and family. talking to them about your depression makes it easy, you feel like your not alone and that there are people in this would that really care about your well being. Finally I would take a club, sport, or hobby where you interact with different types of people to get your self out and into the would

well I hope this help. Make sure to have a wonderful day skyBlue18's

[startingnew]

Hi skyblue

Thanks for thr update thats all really good to hear. I believe your on the right track now 🙄

[skyblue18]

hi, wow I haven't been here in a while. I thought I would do an update. I've been seeing a phycologist at headspace and it's been really good to talk and let out all my thoughts and emotions and have someone actually listen. my mental health has gotten worse rather than better but getting help has sure helped me let some of it out rather than bottling all of it up. I constantly feel alone, not listened/unheard, unloved, and feel that I have no purpose in this world but to be a disappointment and to get in everyone's way. these are recurring thoughts and I have multiple breakdowns a day. I feel lost, like in a boat drifting in the ocean not sure where I'm going and yet at the same time going nowhere. there are always waves hitting me but sometimes they're bigger and sometimes they're "smaller".The reason why I am here isn't just to post an update but to see if anyone was still around to give me advice on how I am feeling. I have also had other dark thoughts. I am at the point where it/everything is consuming me and I don't know what to do. I just want to feel happy again

Thanks, Sky.

[smallwolf]

Hi. Firstly, good to know that you are addressing the issues with someone from headspace. I was told you are brave and have my respect for doing this.

Onto your question near the end of your post... Have you, with your psychologist able to work out your triggers, and given distraction and coping techniques? How are they going?

I am mindful of not interfering with what you do with the psychologist, or the techniques they employ. Except that I know, based on my own experience that it takes some time and even after a year of sessions I am only starting to make some inroads as far as I am concerned.

As for your other dark thoughts, do you speak with your psychologist about these?

Tim

[startingnew]

Hi Skye and thanks for the update!

Im too wondering about what Smallwolf has asked. hope to hear back from you again soon

[skyblue18]

I only get 10 free psychologists a year and I've nearly used all mine up in a short period of time. I think I have 2 left. my biggest regret is feeling that I couldn't open up completely to my psychologist as I still had the fear of putting all my problems on someone else's shoulder to carry. I now know that that they can only help if they get the full story as that's there job. I have only told my psychologist about these thoughts last week and I intend to this week as well. it feels easier to talk about it (with my psychologist at least) which is good.

[startingnew]

its ok, it can take a little while to build up that trust. try not to be to hard on yourself.

im glad your finding it easier to talk to your psychologist though, perhaps you can continue to see them privately when your sessions run out or continue to talk to kidshelpline or headspace on chat till your able to work out other arrangements...

[skyblue18]

yeah, I've been using eheadspace in between appointments if I'm not doing alright. like on the weekend I cried for 3 hours and decided to email them about how I was feeling and they suggested some apps and websites and to call them. They have planned that I may be able to get private sessions that will be partly reimbursed making it easier for me to access them (as they are a lot of money). So I will probably be going to the doctors within the next few weeks and while I talk to them about that I may also be getting a blood test as well.

[smallwolf]

Hi, I have not posted here for a while, but still reading when I remember. The cost of seeing a psychologist vs the number of "free" sessions is always tricky - even the free ones for me were not really free and the total amount was not covered. I am still seeing my psychologist every 2 weeks, so you can imagine the rest. But if you have private health, that will cover (or at least for me) aobut 40-49% of the cost. I have not done the maths but still better than full price. And everyone likes the idea of me going every 2 weeks.

As for how you were feeling on the weekend... did it come out of the blue? Was it a memory of the past or worry about the future? (these are things you dont have to answer here!) Sometimes everything virtual I have does not work. So I also have worry beads (actually prayer beads) that gives me something to touch, see, feel, listen to which can bring me back to the present.

I also want to commend you calling eheadspace. Before that, in recent weeks I bailed on a couple of appointments because I felt REALLY down. And I closed in on myself. Rather than looking for distractions. To make matters worse, this was also just after my beads broke (and fixed now). I was afraid how to I would look in front of other people, afraid of breaking down. When I mentioned this to my psychologist, she mentioned that I should have gone to those appointments as they would have been good distractions. Reaching out to friends or you call headspace is the smarter thing to do.

On blood tests - if you knew how many I have been getting in recent months; they are easy now! With that said, blood test can also help determine our problems. For example, my ferritin (iron) level are very high and haemochromatosis has depression, mood swings, irritability etc as symptoms. Between my GP and psychiatrist, worked out iron level were high so referred to (yet another) specialist.

So I hope everything else is going OK for you. Remember that we take the scenic route in life. Even though we might not like it. See you around,

Tim