How do I tell my mum I think I'm depressed?

[Nadia_R]

Hi,

I'm 13, and generally throughout life I've been just a happy average kid. There have been many things that could have made things really bad, like a mixture of always being the 'fat girl' throughout primary school and all of the boys teasing me and just being told nobody will ever like me, but it didn't really have much of an impact on me when I was younger. Since leaving primary school, I have become a lot more comfortable and confident in my body, and I think I have shed a few kilograms, and I'm proud of myself - however it's always a thought in my head "is this shirt clinging in the wrong places" "do they think I'm fat" and every time I walk past a mirror I can't stop checking to see if I'm fatter than last night and stuff.

I've also been having some friendship issues. My best friend all throughout primary school goes to a different highschool because I moved, and we don't see each other as much as we used to. I miss her terribly, and sometimes I just cry thinking of all the memories we shared through about 10 years of knowing each other. I miss her so bad. My highschool friends are great, but my highschool bestfriend is weird sometimes. Sometimes, I love our friendship so much, for about a month, it'll be pure joy. It'll just be fun, and laughing and all that good stuff, but then other times, it's so dark, and depressing, and dry, and just plain sad. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about how we have never held hands or hugged or had a proper heart to heart, and I just wish we could be closer.

My highschool bestfriend just doesn't open up to me. Her grandmother recently passed away, and she didn't tell me till about a week before it happened. Of course, I was heartbroken for her, but I also felt this sudden hurt, like she'd just punched me in the face. I know I have no right and it's not really my place to say this, but I was so upset she didn't tell me this. I feel like that's something I would tell her, and so I was really hurt.

I also just feel so lonely sometimes. It could just be becoming a teenager and things like that, but I'm starting to wonder. Do i have depression? Do I have anxiety? It's a common thought to me, but I'm not sure how to ask my parents to see a doctor, coz they might just brush it off or think im overreacting. I just want to be happy.

[geoff]

Hello Nadia R, hi and thanks for posting your comment.

I am deeply sorry for not only how you feel but for the other problems you are facing and it must be disappointing your best friend hasn't confided in you about her grandmother, but sometimes at this age some people don't know how to talk with others because they are too upset.

If you are asking yourself whether or not you do have depression and/or anxiety is a question you might not be able to answer, and convincing your parents to take you to the doctor can be frightening because you aren't sure of their reaction, however, can I offer a suggestion, you could tell them that you feel you might have a problem with a personal matter and only want to ask your doctor at the moment, as it's private.

Doing this seems to be a good excuse to see them and once you are in their office, tell them exactly how you feel, or alternatively write down how you are feeling on some paper and have it tucked away in your pocket, so no one else knows, then give it to the doctor and on the list tell them how your parents would feel if you told them.

They pay more attention to what a doctor has to say.

If you can ask the doctor that you want to talk with them by yourself, because it's a private matter.

You can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, web chat, or online and talking with these counsellors, which you may also find very helpful.

Please do not be afraid, your health is of prime concern.

Hope you can get back to us,because we want to help you as much as possible.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Nadia R

Thank you for posting your confusion in our forum. It took a lot of strength and courage to write your post about such personal matters. We are a helpful and supportive community.

It can be very difficult when we go through significant changes, especially when there are more than one. You moved, started high school,and have been needing to make new friends. This much change can bring on anxiety and depression. If your parents are supportive of you, we would encourage you to ask them if they can take you to see the GP. When in your private appointment with your GP, tell the doctor about your concerns so that your doctor can discuss with you some possible next steps. We would also encourage you to talk to your school guidance officer, your head-of-year, or your teacher, in private, so any of these people can also help you to figure out possible next steps.

One of the confusing things about friendship is, it is never the same between different people. What we mean is, your new high school friend will never replace your earlier friend who you moved away from. The relationship will naturally be different.

Body image issues can become complicated over time. We strongly encourage you to talk about this with your GP or counsellors as well. It is important for us to learn to love and respect who we are.

We would like to encourage you to call one of the counselling support services for someone to talk to about your concerns.
These phone services include:
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 4636
Kids Helpline (for ages between 5 and 25) 1800 551 800

We would also encourage you to take a look at these threads:

Saying no to unhelpful thoughts - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/saying-no-to-the-unhelpful-thoughts 

Be kind to yourself - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/be-kind-to-yourself 

How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better? - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/adherence-compliance----how-do-you-make-yourself-do-the-things-that-make-you-feel-better 

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Nadia_R]

Thank you so much.

[Nadia_R]

Thank you I have told my mum and she said we'd look into it. Thank you so much!

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

just wanted to pop in and say hello and to commend you on telling your mum what has been going in. To take that step and without knowing what the reactions might be takes strength and courage. It also sounds like you have a mum who cares about you that she will look into it. I hope it all works out for you.

In the meantime, if you do want to chat, there are many here who will listen and support you.

[Nadia_R]

Thank you. This means a lot as it has gotten worse lately.

[smallwolf]

Hey, can i ask if you have any tools (apps) or someone you can talk about how you are feeling?

Have you spoken to the Kids Helpline?