Hey everyone

[Nibibo]

This is my first post here. Abit about me I'm a 20 year old uni student. I have anxiety and I think I have depression. It's been going on for many years. I have a girlfriend 3 years and counting and no friends. She's been my support and the only person I'm comfortable hanging out with.

I work at woolworths as a produce worker and nightfill. Always scared of going to work cause they might call me for checkouts - pretty sure I have social phobia. I want to avoid serving customers cause I'll make mistakes and be slow.

I always fight with my girlfriend blaming her for everything. My mood swings bad things that happens to me just everything. She cops it always but is a trooper by staying by my side.

people always label me as a shy guy, but really i love to talk and be cool but it just won't come out. I'm stuck in a shell which I can't get out of.

Sometime ill get upset at night thinking I have nothing no friends no one and I hate it. People just don't want to hang around me. I'm that guy who always get chosen last in a team or something, even though I'm pretty good

i dress well, clean and go to the gym overall I feel like I'm happy with my appearance.

People would think im cool but when they talk to me they know I'm a loser cause I can't talk.

I don't know what to do. Ima crazy over thinker, constantly paranoid and low self confidence.

What do I do, it's going on for years. I've been taking this anxiety aid I got from chemist warehouse and see if it works

[Zeal]

Hey Nibido,

Welcome to the forum!

Thanks for explaining your life situation well. Anxiety is frustrating, especially when it negatively impacts important areas of your life such as social relationships and work. It's great that you have a stable relationship with your girlfriend of 3 years. She sounds really supportive and kind, and someone who you feel truly comfortable with. Despite having to deal with mental illness, you have a steady job, a long-term relationship, and you are also studying! 🙂 With some mental health support, you have a great chance of symptom improvement. Have you sought help for the anxiety before? It's important that you make a long appointment with your doctor soon, to discuss your mental health. Printing out your post above to show the doctor may help to 'break the ice'. You could also take a notepad with you to write down important things discussed during the appointment.

This webpage http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm has great resource links on different mental health topics/conditions. The Improving Self-Esteem, Shy No Longer and What? Me Worry!?! links would be relevant to you.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[blondguy]

Hello Nibibo

Welcome and good on you for posting 🙂

You have had not only the guts but the intelligence to post here. You are a Legend....seriously!

I joined the same company in the late 1970's and was a Night fill Captain and then moved on to being a departmental manager when I was 21....and then Branch Manager at 23....

I was terrified of being called to do checkout too. That fear didnt last too long Nibibo. We didnt have Bar codes....you do. I had to enter every price in manually....ugh!

The fear of jumping onto a checkout will become just a memory...and you have service supervisors on deck as well....so If something doesnt scan then you have all the help you need

You are no loser Nibibo....not at all. Have a yak to the customers and ask about their day......they will always remember how kind you are just by asking (and dont worry....they will do all the talking for you) 🙂

Retail is a fantastic base to build your confidence on.....My self esteem was bad when I was 20 until I got stuck into retail.....You are fortunate to have a patient girlfriend.....If your anxiety is effecting you on a day to day basis then please see your GP....there is nothing wrong with that....you can only improve...you have nothing to lose!

If you are still hesitant there are many kind people here that are non judgemental and can help you even if you just need a chat 🙂

I do hope you can post back.....and yes...I meant it when I said you are a legend

you are not alone Nibibo and yes you overthink......as many of us do:-)

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Nibibo]

Thanks for getting back to me, it would be good if you could give me some advice about my situation.

I have gone to the dr

one sent me to a counsellor and the other sent me to a speech therapy place. Cause I could have a speech issue that caused my anxiety. Don't know what to do

[TBella]

Welcome Nibibo

Thank you for sharing.

I can relate, I too have suffered with social phobia's & would avoid social settings!I think for me it stems from deeply rooted rejection as a result of being teased/ bullied at school.

I realised some powerful things.My friends all described me as Loyal, reliable, dependable, caring, encouraging, thoughtful, funny, trustworthy. Yet they would all leave me & I was confused, disheartened. If I'm really all these things you say, if I'm such a good friend why have you all left me?

I had to realise that them not being my friend is not a reflection on me or my character. It's a reflection on their character. It's about their issues.

I had to realise that I am worth more than to have people in my life who take me for granted, abuse me & then leave me. It's better to be alone then in toxic unhealthy pretend friendships.

I got angry & one day asked myself why are you angry at them? The answer- I'm angry because I had always done my best to be a good friend to others- the friend I would like to have. You know the saying Treat others as you want to be treated! I always lived by that motto.

I wanted a friend that would treat me the way I treated my friends. Then it hit me! I have that friend already! That friend is me. I needed to be my own best friend & treat myself like I treated my friends- be kind, patient with myself. Talk well of my self.

I started with writing a list that I called... I AM

I Am likeable, acceptable, lovably as I Am

and I continued to write a list of my positive traits, saying it out loud everyday.

Another thing I started saying is -I draw & attract good people, the right people into my life.

I have not mastered this loving self/ being your own best friend thing- I relapse a lot! It takes being constantly persistent.

Can I just say, YOU are NOT a loser.

YOU ARE AWESOME

YOU ARE A WINNER

YOU ARE WORTHY & DESERVING OF GOOD FRIENDS

But start by being your own friend, speak kindly about yourself. Be patient with yourself. Treat yourself with kindness & respect.

know you are worth it!

Perhaps you could say something like.... I speak well & with ease & confidence. Saying that every time you feel anxious & fearful about speaking will help change your belief system you have about yourself!

Anyway ive rambled enough! I hope it's been of some help.

BE BOLD, BE CONFIDENT, BE YOU & the right people will find there way into your life!

Kind Regards

TBella

[DV_Arjay]

You and I both have similair traits
Well the old me
All you gotta do is throw yourself out of your comfort zone and approach someone. Have a small conversation with them. can be a young girl/boy lady/man or old man and lady
With my job im kind of forced to communicate with people so it was easy for me to get out of my anxiety levels that i feel like are coming back for other reasons...
Anyhow
When you go to approach the strangers
say hi/hello/how are you/ hows it going mate
See if they continue the conversation
If they dont
You can be a little bit more daring and comment about a feature they have on them which might also interest you
Like a jacket which has a logo that you always wear (nike,addidas or even a random logo)
get to know them by making them talk about themselves
Pick people that arent in a rush
usually those that are standing around or sitting down watching others are easier to talk to
Do 1-5 people a day for a week and bump it up until you feel like you can communicate to whoever you want without feeling weird or awkward.
i did this outside of work but at a park
With pokemon go
I got to know many people and now am friends to a few that meet up at the same location to just talk about life.
Goodluck mate

[Nibibo]

Thanks for that. Honestly made me feel abit good about myself. Thanks heaps for that. It's help knowing there are people out there that suffer the same stuff, always felt like I was alone.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Ill try try the stuff you suggested!

[TBella]

Thanks Nibibo

I hope you have a great weekend also & that things start to get better for you.

kind Regards

TBella