Having no confidence

[LittleFox30]

Hello everyone,

I feel I have no confidence. I am a very quiet person when I am around people I don't know. It makes it hard in group situations because I just sit there not knowing what to say or how to contribute to the conversation. I believe it has gotten better in the past couple of years, but still not great. It makes it hard because my boyfriend is really outgoing so when he takes me to meet his friends, I can barely say anything. My mind is just blank all of the time. I am fine when I am alone with my boyfriend, I speak quite a lot, and with a couple of my close friends as well.

I am going to meet more of my boyfriends family soon, so does anyone have any tips about how I can try to talk more? I am always self conscious about it now as I want to improve it, but its hard when my mind is always blank. Nothing goes through my mind in these situations, I just sit there and listen to everyone else talking. I am not sure how to fix this.

[quirkywords]

littlefox

Welcome to the forum. this is a caring, friendly and supportive place.

I can understand how you would feel self conscious about talking to others .

I think you may be surprised at how many people feel the way do about talking to people they don’t know, even people who seem confident and talk a lot.

A friend told me that when she feels awkward and can’t think of what to say, she will ask a question.

Sometimes she will have a few simple questions to ask or by listening and paying attention she will ask a question to show she is listening.

If someone asks you a question can you answer.?

People like talking about themselves so if you show you are interested you can join in the conversation.

I can talk a lot but at other times my mouth feels dry and I feel I can’t say anything.

Maybe your boyfriend can also help you by staying near you and introducing to his family.

Youn may feel like preparing a sentence or you about yourself you can use when you are introduced to people.

Just a few ideas.,feel free to post as much as you like, You are not alone, manynpeople reading your post will relate to what you wrote.

Quirky

[baet123]

Hi Littlefox,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your situation with us.

What your experiencing is totally normal and extremely common.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with not talking much and listening to what other people say.

I often experience the same thing with a lot of people who I don't have many things in common with and there is nothing wrong with that.

What you can do is maybe ask your boyfriend what topics or areas of interests his friends or family have and then do some research or familiarise yourself with these topics and it may help you be more comfortable talking with his friends/family.

Another thing you can try to do is have some generic questions or ask open ended questions to get responses from whoever your talking to. For example "how did that make you feel"or "what are your thoughts on a certain topics". This might increase your confidence and make you more comfortable being around these people.

I think its great that your situation has been improving over the last two years and it will only get better with more exposure and practice. So keep working at it and your going to crush it!

Hope this helps.

Baet123