Has anyone out there ever considered running away from their current life and starting over fresh in a new place (Country, State, City/Town)?

[mej210390]

Either due to bad experiences, in a rut, lots of hang ups/hurts, hates the people around them, feels the lack of accomplishment, in their current setting? I want to know your feelings?

I am currently 26, live in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia and currently feel like this? I also want to do it in away where nobody around me (Family, "Friends" and "other important people") won't track me down, because I want to ditch them too and would quite frankly never want to hear from them again because the way I see it, is that they would impede my way of moving on?

Please help?

[Lost_Girl]

Hi there,

Many years ago I did just that but I followed a boy.

I had broken up with a fiance of 2 years because he was jealous of me spending time with my terminally ill Dad. I had already quit uni because of him as he wouldn't let me study. I then lost my job because my ex-fiance was a family friend of the boss and their Accountant. I started legal proceedings for unfair dismissal. My "friends" were all helping me self-destruct drinking all day and smoking (I am an asthmatic).

I met a "boy" who saved me. He questioned how I was coping with my grief and became my only real friend at the time. I knew him a month before we officially started dating and then 4 days later my Dad died. This boy was due to go back to his home State in a few weeks. My life had hit rock bottom. I packed everything I had into the boys car and he went home. I stayed with my Mum for 3 months to make sure she was ok and then I followed him and started a new life.

It was harder than I thought. The loneliness of a completely new place was overwhelming. I was so used to knowing so many people, even just recognising people in shops, that the change was quite a shock. It took 3 months before anyone even said a friendly hello though granted I moved from Tas to Sydney and the cultural difference is quite marked. I should also point out I was very lucky with the boy. He and I have been together 20 happy years now.

If you are confident enough to get out and join groups or meetups, if you are able to get work in a place with people of similar ages or interests then that would all help. I pretty much cut ties with everyone I knew when I moved but not my Mum. I also had two close friends from school who hadn't been part of the mission to helo me self-destruct. I kept in touch with them too. Having their support helped with the move too. I imagine it would be very tough with no support but if you feel that it is what you need to be healthy and to become happy then go for it. I would suggest a lot of planning before you do so you can start making a life there. I went completely unplanned and it was tough.

Aside from it being tough, it was the best thing I ever did. I have a full life, family, work, friends and a stake in the community in which I live. I have never looked back.

The only question I would ask yourself would be to make sure that if there are unresolved issues that you look to resolve them before you go otherwise they will follow you.

Kind thoughts x

[white knight]

Hi men, welcome. Its a good post.

Im 60yo. In my 20's I tried to escape society 3 times. I'd load up my motorcycle and off into the Snowy mountains I'd go with the intent of never returning.

Each time I failed in my quest. I'd last several days and my hunting skills weren't good.

So I'd return to the city and get a job, back to the same routine...that is until I found the wisdom to go half way. But it was more complicated than how it seemed at the time.

For me living in a small country town more than 90 minutes from the city less than 3 hours was the answer. Quality if life is amazing. One tenth the stress and friendly people, close enough to visit friends far away enough to feel totally detached from the fast lane..and so on.

As for people including relatives I found I was being selfish to leave them without notice, just running away. It meant I wasn't being caring enough and I wasn't able to manage my relationships. I had to change that. I had to take control of my own life.

So just like social media I decided who to allow into my life and who to reject. When a toxic person does harm on a continual basis you give it your best attempts to fixed that relationship then move on mentally. It doesn't mean you need to be cruel or tactless just firm and fair.

So you can carve your own path to a balance. Remaining half way in society has its benefits, you can continue to work the hours to suit and purchase what you need (because its a money world) and regulate your relationships. If you can, keep in contact with family a few times a year, be kind.

In the short term you might consider a job on a station. Spread your wings.

Decisions of the extreme tend to result in extreme ramifications.

Finally, your first paragraph makes me suspicious there could be some emotional concerns. Have a chat with your GP.

Hope this helps.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello, I was the same, I moved after my wife divorced me and our house had to be sold but stayed in the same country town, but for me this was a huge change as I have OCD, but it was a different environment, new surroundings so that was what I needed to pull myself out of depression.
I didn't go to any family ocassions but kept in contact with my twin but never lost any communication betweeen my two sons and myself.
Anybody you find that annoys you or seems to control you is just a negative for you and won't give you the space you need and should stay well clear of. Geoff.

[Shallow_gold]

I've found that getting away from everything I'm constantly surrounded by, is one of the best healers there is. But only if it's short term.

You could do as you say, but make it into a 'vacation' or 'health retreat' rather than uproot everything you have going at your current place.

Have the plan to use the time and space to work on understanding your thoughts and movements. Without the distractions you'd encounter if you were home.

Throw yourself into the change of scenery and explore everything it has to offfer.

Embrace the change in people and/or cultures but make no commitments.

Take a deep breathe and evaluate what it is your heart is truly seeking.

Let yourself be as open and honest as possible and enjoy the fact that you don't ever have to see the people ever again.

And well, if you want to see the place and its people again, then you'll go home with a clearer head and the means to figure it out from there! ​ ​