Got so drunk and now family hates me

[Hannahhhhhhh]

So recently, I’ve just been feeling really down, and I’m in a constant state of anxiety. So last night, I went to town for the first time and I got so so drunk, to the point where an ambulance was called. Two of my friends had to go home early because of me, and I feel so terrible, because I ruined their night. What’s worse, my family is very strict and catholic, and my mum saw me and no one in my family wants to talk to me and I feel like such a bad person. My two friends dropped me off, but the door was locked and they were banging on the door and yelling, and my mum also thinks it’s me which is really embarrassing, and words can’t describe e how guilty I’m feeling right now. Im 20, so I should know better and be better, but I suck so much, and I hate myself.

[kanga_brumby]

Hannah welcome to beyond blue forums. What can I say to this. Refer back to your Sunday school Jesus had a woman brought before him caught in the very act of adultery . The penalty under the law was a stoning. Far mor dangerous to her then than you now. his solution was to draw in the sand. the accusers all walked away. he told her not to sin again.

#1 forgive yourself dont beat up on you. give yourself a break. the lords prayer tells you to forgive unto others when they sin so forgive yourself.

#2 call a family meeting be repent-full tell them your sorry and mean it.

Your still young learn from your mistake. Try not to repeat what you have done.

Brother Peter

[quirkywords]

Hannahhhhhhh,

Welcome to the forum , this is a caring, supportive and nonjudgmental place.

I am sorry you have felt really down.

Getting drunk and then experiencing the embarrassment and guilt of your actions is tough.

Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel?

I think if you can learn something from this, it may help more than putting yourself down.

Be kind to yourself

Quirky

[geoff]

Hi Hannahhhhhh, whether or not this was the first time you have done this doesn't mean you should be vilified, there was a reason why you decided to go and a reason why you couldn't stop.

Nobody is innocent, we all make mistakes, but we learn from them, and you're 20 years old, an adult, the problem begins if it continually happens, then it needs to be addressed and help is required.

Geoff.

[smallwolf]

Hi.

I was also raised in a structured (if not strict) christian home. In our lives we have all done some things that we might consider dumb; and not just drinking too much. Been there myself. Similarly my brother. And I daresay my own kids will do the same. Wounds heal given time?

You mentioned in your post that you have been in a "constant state of anxiety". Do you know what from? What caused this feeling of anxiety? Are you able to talk about this with anyone? Are there pressures at work? Study? Family? Use this as a time for reflection.

Kanga brought up one story from the bible. Here is another. Do you remember the "Parable of the Prodigal Son"? In the story, a father has two sons, a younger and an older. The younger son asks the father for his inheritance, and the father grants his son's request. However, the younger son is prodigal (i.e., wasteful and extravagant) and squanders his fortune, eventually becoming destitute. The younger son is forced to return home empty-handed and intends to beg his father to accept him back as a servant. To the son's surprise, he is not scorned by his father but is welcomed back with a celebration.

And then there is the Parable of the Good Samaritan. A man dying on the roadside is helped by "wrong" person in the context of the time. Those who were expected to help did not. (There is more to this parable than meets the eye.)

I don't think it was your intent to get drunk, but that is what happened. I am unsure of the relationship you have with your parents. Kanga suggested a family meeting. But if you are in pain (internally) with anxiety, can you talk to your parents so they might be able to act like the father in the first story, or become the Good Samaritan. A single act like this should not destroy the relationship. At least, I hope not.

If there was one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be "don't be afraid to talk to your parents".

Peace,
Tim

[LavenderTea]

Hey Hannahhhhhhh,

Dealing with anxiety can be tricky. Adding alcohol and other drugs to the mix... well, it can create some extra problems as you've noticed.

Tim touched on a very good point. It's important to think about what might be causing your anxiety. Being in a constant state of anxiety is really tiring so I completely understand you wanting to relax and let off some steam. There's a BeyondBlue page on the different types of anxiety that might be helpful for you to check out (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety). If what you're experiencing is impacting on a few areas in your life, it is important to get some help for it. Anxieties have generally be tried and tested so most mental health practitioners will know how to help.

In the meantime, practicing some breathing techniques (such as box breathing), some mindfulness, or exercising regularly may help to manage your anxiety a bit better.

Hope this is helpful.