First help experiences?

demondee · ‎19-05-2015

I've struggled for a long time. Each day feels like forever and I'm tired of it. I know I'm stressed out a lot lately with uni, work and completing my honours project. But at the same time I can't voice how I feel. When I see people face to face I automatically put on my mask and I can never take it off. I never say how I feel. I feel trapped.

There's no one at uni who I can talk to. The counselling service at uni is always full or I am unable to book a time because it'll be my first time. My GP is usually booked out 2 weeks in advance and I have this weird thing where I feel better if I have an appointment with her (I've only been twice - she's a new GP for me) and that goes for anyone. I think it's a defense mechanism. And there's a part of me that thinks that if I can't even tell my GP about what I've been feeling, then what is the point? It would be so hard to start any form of talk therapy with someone.

So what was your first experience of getting help? Did you have similar difficulties? If so, how did you overcome it?

Chris_B · ‎19-05-2015

Hi demondee, welcome to the forums.

Depression and anxiety can be very isolating, but there are many of us here on the forums who know what you're going through. Below are some other threads from uni students who you might like to reach out to:

Struggling with uni, work and pressure

Really struggling

Getting help and uni struggles

Struggling to believe I will get better

Our Staying Well forum is another good source of threads on coping strategies.

Also, have a look at The Desk, it's an online beyondblue resource designed for uni students and has lots of tips and coping strategies.

Speaking to your GP is a good idea. If you think you're going to struggle with the words to explain how you're feeling, perhaps consider printing out your post and taking it in. Your GP will be able to provide you with a mental health care plan and a referral to a psychologist too.

Doolhof · ‎19-05-2015

Hi Demondee,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the community here.

It has been quite some time since I first requested help for my depression.

Recently we moved to a different region, so I had to seek out a new Dr to help and assist me with all my health concerns.

I telephoned the centre and asked the receptionist if she could suggest a Dr who had an interest in mental health issues. You don't need to do this, but it had been suggested to me.

Thankfully I now have a wonderful Dr who I can talk to about anything. I know it is not always easy to do this.

There have been times when I have written stuff down to show to the Dr.

One day I was really down, so I printed out one of those depression surveys you find on the internet and marked down all the points that really upset me. That way the Dr knew exactly what the issues were.

There is a great service here at Beyond Blue where you can use the webchat. I have used it a few times. It works well for me. Or there are always the phone help lines too.

Chris B has also given you some hints, ideas and people you can chat with. Together you may come up with coping strategies and you will learn more as you read the various responses to their posts.

Hope some of this helps.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

demondee · ‎21-05-2015

hey Mrs D.

thank you for your reply. It's really nice to hear someone's first hand experiences. I've thought about writing a letter in case I just cant say it but I don't know what to put in it. There is so much I want to say but don't have the voice for it. and I don't want it to be a long winded not either. Do I just stick to the facts? I know there isn't a right or wrong way but I have no idea where to start.

Thankyou for replying!

D.

Doolhof · ‎21-05-2015

Hi D,

It is excellent you have manage to write back again. So many people send in one post and then for one reason or another we don't hear from them again. Maybe they find it all to scary or overwhelming. I don't know.

Either way, congratulations for getting back to me and for wanting to move forward with your healing and conquering depression and stress.

Okay, so you can write out your information any way you like, just use your own style. Write what comes into your mind.

You might use dot points like:

. I feel really depressed and stressed out

. I don't go out anymore.

. I avoid my family and friends

.I don't enjoy my usual activities

. I have trouble concentrating

.I'm not sleeping well

.I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, irritable or what ever

. My thoughts are really negative

.I feel tired all the time

.I have headaches and other weird pain.

That might give you an idea of the things you can write down, add what ever is relevant to you.

Okay, so thinking of some of that stuff may add to you feeling down right now, so you need a bit of a boost! You could try one or some of the following:

Write down three things that went well for you today.

Think of a great place you would like to visit one day.

Grab a bottle of water and go for a half hour walk.

Find YouTube videos of animals doing hilarious things and have a laugh.

Read a book

Do a Sudoku puzzle

Weed the garden, or a neighbours garden and give them a surprise!

In other words do something that makes you feel good, that helps to change your mood into something more user friendly and find some positives.

Phone your Dr. and make an appointment and realise your Dr. has seen and heard so much they will understand what you are trying to express to them.

Please let me know how you get on.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D

demondee · ‎27-05-2015

Hiya Mrs D.

Thanks for sharing your experience and tips! I keep trying to write something but maybe I'll just use your list. I just really wish that asking for help is an easy thing for me. I'm questioning whether I should even try.

(:

thanks. D

Doolhof · ‎27-05-2015

Hi D,

I can so relate to not asking for help when you need it! Only last year I ended up in hospital for two weeks because I did not ask for help!

I would like to highly encourage you to go and see your Dr. Print out the list I have made and that will be a starting point for you.

You are worth it, you do need to try to make an appointment and then attend. The Dr. will understand how you are feeling.

Please, make an appointment today and take someone with you if you have to, even if they just sit and wait while you chat to the Dr.

I would take you myself if I could! You are worth it!

Wishing you the courage to make your appointment and to go. Hugs to you from Mrs. D

Anusha · ‎02-06-2015

Hi!

This is my first post so I'm not sure if what I'm saying will be very helpful.. I too am a university student, and always found it much easier to internalise everything and pretend that it's all fine. It took a very long time for me to admit that I probably needed to talk to someone, and even longer to actually make it happen.

At first I was really uncomfortable about the whole process - I barely said anything at the first counselling appointment I went to. The other important thing to remember is that you aren't 'stuck' with the first counsellor you try. I have been to see a couple of different people, and have now found someone I am really comfortable with. This is integral to being able to start breaking down those walls. If you don't feel comfortable with the psychologist you are seeing, it can make the discussions a whole lot harder.

Having a GP that you can make that initial contact with is really important, and they might also be able to recommend some good counsellors in your area. They can also organise Mental Health Care Plans for you, which can make a wider range of psychologists more accessible.

Some other things that have really helped me are:

- Making detailed 'to do' lists that help me keep on top of things and feel a sense of accomplishment

- Regular meditation/breathing exercises (I highly recommend the Smiling Mind App - it has really changed my coping mechanisms)

- Regular exercise (I find yoga and walking to be the most beneficial, but definitely depends on your personal preferences!)

I think most of this is echoing what Chris B and Doolhof have already said, but I thought I'd share my experience just in case, as your experience seems to very closely mirror my own.

Hope everything has been going well for you so far 🙂

Doolhof · ‎02-06-2015

Hi Anusha,

I would just like to welcome you to the community here at Beyond Blue and to thank you for a wonderful post. So many people will benefit from reading the words you have so eloquently written.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. It helps so much to read how other people are coping with their life's journey. It is also a reminder to people like me to make use of the beneficial strategies I have learnt in the past.

I hope you are doing a lot better now and your studies are going well.

Thanks again for sharing!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

demondee · ‎03-06-2015

Hi Anusha,

Thank you for replying and sharing your experience about getting help. It's really good to hear about your experiences as well. I'll keep your tips in my mind about seeing different people if I can start on my journey.

I've booked an appointment for next week. A short one but at least it's a start. I dont think I can talk about this for 30 mins. My GP seems nice but I have no idea how it'll be about this topic. 😛

I will try out some of your tips. Hopefully they'll work for me too. The only thing I find helpful right now is taking photos, so hopefully I can add some more to that list.

I hope your studies are going well too. I know it's coming to the end of semester. We're always here. 🙂

D