Feeling very lonely at college

[noname97]

Hi so I'm a 19 year old university student and I'm in my first year but I've honestly made no friends at all.I've just found it so difficult, I find myself having days where I do not speak to anyone besides my family all day. In my classes there is either no discussion at all and the room is dead quiet, or I find myself in a class where lots of people know each other and are friends and make no effort to reach out to me. I don't consider myself to be unfriendly or socially inappropriate by any means but whenever I try to make conversation with someone, they just seem very uninterested and cold. I have friends from high school but they are all at completely different universities to me and they have all made lots of friends, which is very hard to sit and watch. I know lots of people suggest joining societies and groups, but my experience with them is that they are very judgemental, cliquey and hard to break into unless you have a large group of friends with you, or they are made up of people that are (not trying to be rude!) a bit socially inappropriate. I've been here for over a year but I have not made a single friend. It's very hard for me because I am quite a social person who enjoys going out and partying, but there are just no opportunities to do so! I just feel so lonely and isolated and I can't remember the last time I have actually properly interacted with someone my age...

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum 🙂

Uni is certainly different from a school environment. I am 23 and in my last semester of uni, and while I have friends at uni, I only really spend time with them on campus. There's one close friend I met at uni, but that's the exception. The group of friends I socialise with I met two New Year's Eve's ago. In my group, most people have been friends since high school. Only myself and a few others joined the group after high school. Keep spending time with your high school friends on the weekend 🙂

Try not to be too hard on yourself for not making friends at uni. It is good that you do naturally enjoy interacting and socialising with others. Because of how flexible uni study is, perhaps you can catch up with your high school friends during the week sometimes as well, like for a casual lunch or dinner.

There are also some previous threads about making friends at uni. Here are the links to them:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/bluevoices-community/forums/young-people/i-can't-make-friends-at-uni#qfuMcXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/bluevoices-community/forums/young-people/how-to-make-friends-at-university-#qlByW3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A​

It would be great to hear from you again 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[Fairywings]

hi there lovely SM has given you some great advice here yes uni is so diff to high school it's a whole new ball game it open's ur eyes to the bigger world out there like SM advised please try to keep in touch with ur hs friends it's important that u do and do check out those threads SM provided do stay in touch with us xx it was nice to have spoken with you Venessa xx