Feeling stuck and incomplete for the past 6 years.

[Alycia227]

Ever since starting high school I've felt horrible. I was bullied, I never truly found great friends, I struggled with my work and I didn't feel I accomplished a whole lot. After graduating I was excited to finally get on my feet and start uni and create great friends... It never happened. I didn't like what I was studying and once again, I felt lonely. So I dropped out and was alone for 6 months. I ended up quitting my job for the last 3 because it was making me more upset. I then decided to join an acting school which has been a great decision. I was doing well and I've found what I want to do. By the end of it though they ended up cutting the course early and I'm sitting here again, alone. No job and was just messed around with a guy that had made me the happiest I'd been in a while. He dropped me so suddenly and It took me a little while to get a hold of things again but it's hard when you don't have a job to distract you or great friends to help you through it. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I don't know why I can't get past that wall, I've always had these great idea's and excitement about life and it always ends up going back to what it was. I have a lot of potential in so many areas, I know that, and many people have told me that. I've also been told that I'm great to be round. So that's why I'm so confused as to why I can't get anywhere! I hate it so much, it's eventually going to wreck me if I can't find what's getting in the way. Could it be depression? If so, will medication magically make this all happen for me? What can I do?

[RandR]

Hello Alicia277 and welcome to the Beyond Blue forums 🙂

Thanks for reaching out and sharing your situation and recent experiences. I can appreciate talking about challenges in life is never easy and takes a lot of courage.

Considering your experience being bullied at school (so was I), work/studying being unlucky, being messed around by a guy and knowing you that you know what you want to achieve and pursue but have had some setbacks, you sound like you are doing so so well to be keeping it all together!! Your a strong person, I have no doubt of that. Like you, I too have had a period , and rather long one, of setbacks after setback after setback and feeling chirpy and in a clear head space can be very difficult.

Who are some of your favourite actors if you don't mind me asking? Any movies you could suggest to me that you highly rate? Having distraction is important so outside of the career you want to pursue, what are some of your hobbies/interests?

Getting past that 'wall' is something that there is no magic formula for. It takes time, patience, persistent and tenacity. All the caharacteristics I get a sense of a feeling you have.

Regarding having depression, I suffered major depression for 12 years and from the sounds of it It doesn't sound like you are suffering from depression. Mind your, I never took prescribed medication once whilst suffering depression and was able to pull myself put by making better decisions and avoiding depression triggers.

I think based of what you have shared that you have just been dealt some unlucky cards in life like many of us, however, there are many cards in a deck and you will be dealt the right hand soon enough. In the meantime, if your open to it, could I recommend watching some TedTalks (let me know if you're familiar with them) and a documentary called chef's table on Netflix (if you have Netflix that is). There are some amazing stories about people across all walks of life who you like you and I, are dealt some unlucky cards and question when will things start going right and when will I catch my break. It helped me through some tough times and maybe, it could also help you.

Happy to talk more and I really look forward to hearing back from you 🙂