Feeling Depressed

[LittleFox30]

Hi all, I have been feeling very down lately. In the past 10 years, it has been an on and off feeling since my mum passed away of cancer, but recently it has been more of a constant feeling of depression. I have been diagnosed with depression in the past, but refused to believe it as the feelings of depression only came once a week or so. Lately however, I have been trying to improve myself and be more outgoing, as I am a very quiet person and my boyfriend is very talkative with everyone he meets. However, I have found over the past week that I am losing an interest in talking, I just want to be on my own and not talk to anyone. I just don't have any energy. I am not sure what has happened to change my attitude about this, but I just feel sluggish and want to relax on uni holidays, however have 1000 things to do everyday so am unable to do that. I would like to find a new psychologist as I have been in and out of psychologists and as soon as I talk to someone, I start to feel healthier after a few sessions and then stop going. I feel that I may have some issues regarding my mums death that I have not addressed that are affecting my moods and attitudes to this day. Any advice you have for me would be good. Even writing this I feel like this probably isn't a big deal and that I should just stop feeling sorry for myself, but I really do just want to become a better person and happy again.

[jess334]

Hi LittleFox,

I'd like to welcome you to the forums. I hope you find some support during this difficult time. Depression cam be very difficult to overcome by yourself. Well done taking a step forward by posting and asking for advice & support.

It does sound like you recognise you have some issues with depression. Seeing a psychologist is a great idea. Your GP can refer you under a mental health plan.

Grief can definitely play a part in mental health issues. Have you talked this over with your psychologists in the past?

Kind thoughts Jess

[therising]

HI LittleFox30

Being conscious of wanting to improve the connection we have to life is super important. It is the first step toward change and a step you are obviously undergoing. The next step might involve revisiting the psychologist, seeing this is something that seems to have worked in the past.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for your self. Let me phrase it another way - there is nothing wrong with experiencing sorrow for yourself during the incredible loss and challenges that grief brings. There is so much to grief and it's a process which does require help at times.

As far as happiness goes, it's not just something we experience, it also requires the right chemistry (regarding that thing up there in our head). If the chemistry is off a little we can feel it in many ways.

Take care LittleFox30

[LittleFox30]

Dear Jess,

Thank you for your reply. I have spoken to psychologists in the past about mum but a lot of the time we tend to move on and speak about what is happening in the present that is stressing me out. However I know there probably are things I would like to speak about as I have never really spoken properly about mum before, always avoided the topic and felt awkward when someone would ask me about her in the past. I was thinking I could perhaps write a letter to the psychologist explaining my goals that I would like through counselling?

[jess334]

Hi Littlefox,

I think writing a list of goals or topics you want to speak through is a great idea.

I know that in my counselling sometimes we get distracted and end up speaking about things that are fairly unimportant. So a list would really keep things focused!

Kind thoughts,

Jess