Feeling anxious, lonely and confused

Rose31 · ‎13-06-2020

So I left home when I was 17. It's now been almost 18 months living in a town I had never been before and didn't know anybody. I have family and friends that live within a 70km radius although have hardly visited them as some times I feel like I may be intruding. I thought it would get easier as the time passed, but since turning 18 and meeting the most amazing boyfriend I have been really struggling with living away from my home town. I enjoy my own company a lot and I like to do my own thing although now it feels a bit much going to work everyday then coming home to no one. I message and call my parents and boyfriend so much but it's not the same as talking in person. I'd move home in a a heart beat although I do struggle with worrying constantly. I worry about what people think and I am never focused on trying to please myself it's always everyone else. I recognise that but need help with pushing past and learning to be true and honest with myself. I also worry about money as I am on trainee wages and paying rent and a car loan. There aren't many jobs in my home town and I am worried that I'll leave a full time job to potentially nothing for a while. In also struggle with what people will think of that ! I'm blowing up at everyone for no reason and am so moody and on edge and have been for the last 12 months at least. But I have also changed for the better since meeting my boyfriend 12 months ago. I feel terrible when we fight but I'm so bad for snapping at him and taking everything out on him. It's hard living away from him and sometimes I can be so blunt and nasty with messages because I'm just 'not in the mood'

I definitely need help with changing before I lose him and my family ... I need to learn how to cope with things and techniques for living with anxiety and sometimes depressive feelings (sad,moody,tired a lot)

Sophie_M · ‎13-06-2020

Hey Rose31, welcome to Beyond Blue forums. It's great to have you join us here! It sounds like a lot is going on in your life at the moment. You have many new responsibilities and are living away from your family, we can imagine this would put a lot of pressure and stress on you. For someone who is only 18, this is a lot to handle and we think most people in your situation would be feeling the same way. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone, there is help available to you.

We would recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/
It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Thanks again for reaching out as we know that it can be really tough to do this for the first time. We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer.

bluenight · ‎13-06-2020

Hey Rose31

Well missing your family is pretty significant, it seems like it is affecting you and understandably so. It's always hard making changes or moving away from loved ones. I think you should start visiting your family, when you get a free weekend or a couple of days free then go visit them. Because it's obvious you miss them and it's making you unhappy, probably more than you realise.

Rose31 · ‎14-06-2020

Hey bluenight

Thanks for your reply.

I have been visiting every weekend for the last couple weekends although it does get tiring and expensive when my parents and partner live 300km away 😞 especially working full time the new driving home every Friday night !

bluenight · ‎14-06-2020

Hey Rose31

Could you organise some time off work in the future, maybe you could take a week off and go spend that week with your parents and boyfriend. It might help you work out whether you should leave your job and move back or keep working in your new job.