Early stage substance abuse for anxiety/depression

[Wolf142]

Hi there,

I'm new to this website because I feel I don't have many other places to turn. I'm an 19 year old male who has suffered with anxiety for 6 years. My problems however became virtually non existent throughout the final years of high school. however since leave school and taking a gap year to work, i have began to take a turn for the worse and my anxiety/mild depression is at an all time high. I had no idea what I was doing with myself in 2016, working a few different jobs that I couldn't hold or sometimes didn't go to shifts because of my overwhelming feeling of stress.

Since October 2016, I broke up with my first serious girlfriend who I loved very much and still do to this day. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not wondering what she's doing or thinking of her. The breakup has virtually pushed me over the edge (anxiety-wise). I have not been working as I'm too worried about the endless feeling of worry and anxiousness in day to day life. I have began smoking weed virtually every day for the past couple of months and my alcohol intake is increasing as well.

I hate using these substances to make myself feel good but it's the only thing that can take my mind off things and make me feel that glimpse of happiness I once had.

I hate myself and I'm not sure where to turn. Any responses would be helpful...

[Starwolf]

Hi Wolf142, welcome to the forums.

Well done for taking the plunge and sharing your concerns with us. A brave and wise move...

There has been many changes in your life in the recent past. Transition from school to working life is not an easy one at the best of times. Loss of a relationship involves grieving, another source of stress. This would be enough to trigger anxiety back into your life.

Anxiety is a medical condition and should be treated as such. No need to let the situation deteriorate further. I suggest you have an honest talk with a GP. You may need to go on an health plan to help you over this rough patch. You need to regain peace of mind and deserve quality of Life.

You talk about substance abuse being one of your problems...a first step towards doing something about it. Acknowledging we have an issue takes guts. More kudos to you...

You know as well as I do that it doesn't resolve existing problems, just gives us a temporary illusion of escape from them. The only way to make the illusion last is to keep self-medicating. And so addiction sets in, to escapism, if not to the substance itself. You deserve much better than ending up on that dead end road.

This link could be copied into your browser :

www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/substance-abuse-and-addiction

Navigating these forums will let you know you are not struggling alone. I hope to read more from you. We're here to support and cheer you on whenever needed.

Please take care.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Wolf142
It seems to me that your primary issue here is anxiety and this is a really common problem and often can respond well to treatment if caught early and treated by the the right people in the right way.
 
Some peoples brains are just wired in such a way that they seem to “obsess” or “see the bad side” .. It could be genetic or it could be the way people were brought up or a bit of both. Either way, peoples brains can get into bad habits of thinking and I wonder if that is what has happened to you. 

It seems that when you had a structured, ordered  life (at school) things were easier for your brain and less stressful. But after leaving school, you had too many options and in the effort to make the right decisions and do the right thing, you maybe got overwhelmed and got into a loop where you just keep thinking about things over and over in an effort to come out of the process with the “ right “ decisions . However all the thinking has exhausted you , robbed you of time and often left you feeling like you can’t do anything - thus the missing shifts and the smoking weed to try and settle down. 
 
Your reaction to the break up with your girl friend is in many ways very understandable - the heart ache of that first big love loss is pretty overwhelming. However you do need to develop better internal resources to manage emotional pain and distress and avoidance and weed are not going to work in the long term ( as you yourself have alluded to )
 
So where to from here ? Maybe it would help you to work to develop a really good understanding of anxiety and teach yourself how to manage this common but difficult mental health issue better. This involves both changing lifestyle factors and going to see a psychologist . 
 
 Remember , that it usually take months to get a response and often it is 2 steps forward , 1 step back  so don’t get disheartened if you don’t get results in the first couple of weeks!
 
1. the first stop is  lifestyle factors - exercise , sleep, eating well, regular daily routines & stopping weed ….and most importantly probably .. a MINDFULNESS programme . Try the Apps -Smiling Mind or Headspace . I don’t know where you live , but there are also groups available to train people on how to do this , so look around or ask Beyond Blue or Black Dog for suggestions.
 
2. you need to draw up the cognitive battle ground! This Anxiety thing needs to be battled!I suggest finding a therapist via your GP to help you with some strategies to attack the unhelpful thoughts and habits. You could also start by reading a very helpful and easy book by Sarah Edelman “Change Your Thinking”.
 
3.I think it is unlikely , but you may need SSRI medication if step 1. and 2. are not helping and things are getting worse . Your GP should help you decide when the time would be right for this move.
 
Good Luck and I hope 2017 is a better year for you. Please use your experiences in 2016 as something you can learn from and use to move forward from so that you can feel more empowered to weather things in your future. 
 

[Wolf142]

Thankyou for your response, I am currently taking SSRI medication for that extra but of help. I've also recently gone back to see my old psychologist which should hopefully help