Dear Spudnic
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for your post. We all want someone to love and support us when we feel down. This is natural. What you are describing is an over-dependence on your BF. It's great that you can realise this because it is a huge part of the battle. Congratulations.
Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself? How old are you? Do you have a job? Do you live on your own or with family/friends? What hobbies or activities do you have? Please only respond to any of these questions that you feel comfortable about. I am asking so that we can get a picture of you. Other people on the forum will also be interested and can talk about their experiences and what has worked for them.
To be so dependent on someone else seems like losing your own identity. You become a copy of someone else and it can be very hard to find yourself again. Once you are more self-assured you will find your relationship with your BF more rewarding. The trick of course is learning to become yourself.
Part of this lies in the questions I have asked. Do you do anything without your BF? What do you like doing? Have you any ambitions about going somewhere, trying something, living differently? We are fortunate that we have so many options in our lives, people, activities and places, that can bring us pleasure, knowledge, fun, challenges and satisfaction. In particular I find an enormous satisfaction helping others by volunteering in different organisations. If you like animals perhaps you offer to volunteer in your local animal shelter. Look up the Volunteers Australia website and see what there is on offer.
Do you like gardening? I love watching my plants grow and flourish, those I don't kill in the process (smile). My hobbies take up lots of my time. I like to make clothes for my grandchildren, embroidery and scrapbooking. I also enjoy talking to people on BB. Have a look at the posts from other people and join in the conversations. I think you will gain a great deal by offering your thoughts and comments. I find I end up talking as much to myself as to other people.
Please write in again. I will be looking for your posts.
Mary
