Do I have anxiety??

[kalechips]

i think i am suffering from anxiety. i keep getting panic attacks and am nervous about the most simple things, like homework or doing hpe or going to a friends house. i know i may seem a bit paranoid compared to some people who actually have serious issues so i am sorry if i appear that way. truth is, i don't really talk to my parents that much - i love them and i get along, but i just don't tell them much. i don't want to express my concerns to my friends because one of them has a serious medical condition - epilepsy - and i am scared they'll think i am trying to get attention when she actually has an issue. my friends make fun of me, without realising their impact, about me stressing about tests and assignments and homework etc., but they don't know that i am constantly scared that i will screw up, scared about... well, everything. i second guess everything i do, everything i say, everything i think.

i have always been really anxious, but last year my cousin took her own life due to depression. i hadn't spoken to her in a long time, and it was out of the blue. i drew back from my friends, i lost interest in things that used to excite me, and i got more and more anxious. i started worrying about my families safety, my safety, my mental health.... none of my friends new but one, and she was really supportive. the one day that she was away, the day after the funeral, my friends were asking a lot of questions and making stupid jokes, one relating to suicide, and i lost it and ran from the room to the nearest bathroom and cried and cried. i came back 5 minutes late, and they were worried, but they kept pressuring me so i made an excuse and left.

anyway, i am really scared i have anxiety - what do i do? who do i tell? how can i ask my parents for help? i don't sleep, i never sit still, i am always worried, i second guess everything, i am scared of being judged. i have done a lot of research and taken many online tests, as many as i can find, and all say that i have high anxiety and strong anxiety disorders etc.

i guess i am just asking for help....

- who do i trust?

- who do i tell?

- how do i know?

- how do i ask for help?

it is affecting my life, and i don't even know if i have anxiety. am i just being paranoid?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Kalechips

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us.

I am sorry that you are finding things so hard. I do want to get your questions but first I want to tell you that there is nothing you can say here that is not bad enough, looking for attention or not important. You are important. This is exactly why the forums exist; so that people can feel like they have a voice. What you feel, think and say matters. There will always be other people that are struggling (like your friend with epilepsy - or like hungry children overseas) but that doesn't change how you feel, and that doesn't make your problems any less important.

Okay -

- who do i trust?

Knowing who to trust is a tough one and I don't think any of us know the answers to this one. I hope that your friends and family are supportive so that you can trust them to talk to. Some people though find that they are not supportive, which is hard. Counsellors and Doctors are generally good people to trust because everything you say is confidential (unless you're at risk of harm).​ Sometimes people find that they can trust other sorts of people like teachers or priests or neighbours or family friends.

- who do i tell?

You can tell anyone that you feel comfortable with. If your family and friends are supportive I'm sure that they would love to know so that they can understand. If you're nervous about telling them or they aren't supportive then you can tell a counsellor or a Doctor. Often a lot of schools have school counsellors so this might also be a great way to go. Even if you find a teacher who you trust you could talk to them and they can help you find someone.

(1/2)

[romantic_thi3f]

( This wouldn't fit on the other post 🙂 Sorry about the weird formatting! )

- how do i know?

I assume you mean how do I know if it's
anxiety? What you've said describes anxiety pretty well. As for
whether or not you have an anxiety disorder - only a psychiatrist can make that
decision. But you don't need to know whether or not you have a 'disorder'
to get some help. Lots of people have anxiety without necessarily having
a diagnosis.

It's great that you've been able to research a bit about anxiety
and I hope that it's helped - but taking online tests can be a bit unreliable
because they don't really take into account everything about you and where you
are at.

- how do i ask for help?

I think it would really help to tell us who
you feel most comfortable talking to. Some people feel okay talking with
it about their family and then their family can organise an appointment, others
can go straight to the school counsellor. Everyone's a little bit
different and there's no right or wrong.

- it is affecting my life, and i don't even know if i have
anxiety. am i just being paranoid?

You are absolutely not being paranoid, and I'm
glad you wrote in. If it's affecting your life, you can get some help.
End of story.'

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[kalechips]

Hi romantic_thi3f! Thank you so much for that, this has really helped me!

I trust my parents and totally trust 2 or 3 friends (the others pass on secrets like there is no tomorrow), but I am worried that I will bring them down with me by telling them or make them worried or concerned...? Also, I am not quite sure how to bring it up?

Thank you so much!

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Kalechips,

Thanks for your post!

I've been away for a little while so I didn't see this sorry! Is this something that you're still struggling with?

Hope you're doing well.

[kalechips]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

Sorry it has been a while! I thought I was getting better, letting it all out on here and having someone to talk to, but it is getting bad again...

I still haven't told my parents, and I don't know if I trust my friends that much anymore. I love my Mum and Dad, but I find talking to them about this stuff (serious & deep stuff) awkward, and I am worried that they will just dismiss it and say I'm overreacting. As I mentioned in my last post, I could only trust about 2 friends. One of them is totally unsupportive at the moment, and the other thinks that me explaining my other friends sudden unsupportiveness toward me funny. I do rowing, and at out land trial I was sick and had to run out, and all my friends came up to me afterwards and asked if I was okay and she just walked away. Then during our running session I had to stop and turn around cause I have knee injuries and she said I cheated and am uncommitted. This weekend I have a flute exam so I have to miss part of our rowing session (running again) and she keeps calling me uncommitted! It is really annoying and I don't understand the sudden change in friendship...

I don't want to talk to the school counsellor because I'm worried either dismiss it as nothing and/or she'll have to notify parents who will get angry for me at going behind their back or something.

I re-did some online tests tonight to see if my possible-anxiety is improving (not diagnosing, just checking) and on all my tests I have got extremely high - all also say I have generalised anxiety disorder.

I don't know what do do, and I don't even know if you'll see this, but... I'm really lost! Please help me!

thank you xx

I

[White_Rose]

Dear Kalechips

Hello and welcome to the forum. I see you started to write to us in February but have had few replies. I am so sorry your posts have slipped through the cracks, which does happen sometimes.

You ask about bringing others down by talking about your anxiety. In general the answer is no, it's not infectious and not likely to distress someone to such an extent they become anxious. Talking to your school counsellor should be safe. I believe they will not contact your parents because they are bound by confidentiality. However if the counsellor thought you were at risk they will be obliged to take some action. From what you have said I don't think you are at risk, but it's your choice to talk to a counsellor or not.

Beyond Blue has information on anxiety and will send it to you free of charge. Start by browsing the drop down list under The Facts. May I ask how old you are? Can you make an appointment with your GP and talk about your concerns? This is often the best way as your GP will be able to help. It would be good to tell your parents and I understand how difficult this can be. I am a grandma, four children and eight grandchildren. I think I would be disappointed if any of my children did not tell me they were having a rough time. I also believe your parents would be too worried to tell you off if you confide in one or other. Who would listen best to you?

One way of starting a conversation with one or other of your parents is to write down what you want to say. Then get mom or dad on their own, or together is you feel OK about it, and either read your words or give them the notes to read themselves. You could copy and print your posts here and any answers you feel appropriate. Or use what you have written here to start you off making your own notes. Having your parents help, support and love will be the greatest help for you and perhaps one or other parent will go with you to your GP.

I read about your friend. Not sure why she would behave in this fashion but it could be she is concerned about you but does not know how to show it or is scared she will say the wrong thing. Despite your anxiety you may give the impression that you are coping well with life and your friend may feel she does not manage as well. Perhaps you could have a chat with her and ask if there is anything troubling her. It could be she needs support as well.

I hope you write in again. I will keep a lookout for your posts.

Mary

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi kalechips

Thanks for your post.

I'm so sorry that you're still struggling with this and that it's been getting worse. I really encourage you to keep writing in here - or even in a journal, so that you have some kind of release from everything that's building up!

From your post I can see that things that scare you the most are either being dismissed, or being told that you're overreacting.

The way I see it you have a few options -

1). You tell them anyway. The worst case scenario is that you'll be dismissed or that you'll be told you're overreacting - which you've already kind of prepared for. What if they don't act that way? What if they are supportive? Unfortunately there's no way to know but if you've prepared yourself for the worst you know that you can handle it.

2) You can talk to your counsellor about it. School counsellors can keep everything you say confidential unless they think that you're at risk of harm (like hurting yourself or hurting others). Other than that it's their job to keep things private and not tell your parents. It's also their job to help support people; so if they dismiss it then they aren't doing their job properly! It's like if you went to a GP and talked about a skin rash - it's their job to help you, just like it's a counsellors one to help you with anxiety.

3). You try something else. There are a few places like Kids Help Line which have online chats and a phone number to call, and Headspace which have both online chats as well as centres targeted at anxiety and depression. The online chats are free, but I'm not sure how easy it would be for you to get to a Headspace centre. You could also try a GP to get referred to a psychologist, but I'm also not sure how easy/hard this would be without telling your parents - this also depends on your age too.

4). You do nothing.

You're not in an easy situation, and I wish that I could make it better - but this is one of those things where you've got to fight. You have anxiety but it doesn't have to have you. You deserve to get some help. I know that you can do this. Don't give up.

[kalechips]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

Thank you so much for your reply, and suggestions. I will try to bring up my concerns with my parents this week and see what they think I should do regarding seeing a counsellor/GP/psychologist... I am only 14, so can't go to a GP by myself, so I think it will be best just to tell my parents. Like you said, if they think I am overreacting I am already anticipating it...

I am so grateful for your support, you have been so supportive and helpful throughout everything!! I think I will take your suggestion and use this page as a sort of "progress" journal, and just to let everything out when it becomes too much.

Thank you so much, I'll keep you updated x

[kalechips]

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for your reply, and suggestions. I will try to bring up my concerns with my parents this week and see what they think I should do regarding seeing a counsellor/GP/psychologist... I am only 14, so can't go to a GP by myself, so I think it will be best just to tell my parents. Thank you also for your help regarding my friend, you are probably right and I will talk to her to make sure everything is ok.

I will keep you updated, and thank you x